Learning With Friends

I love, love, love the fun we continue to have learning with our friends in our homeschool group.  We are so blessed with the friendships we have made, and I sometimes forget it hasn't quite been three years since we moved here!

Easton and Kiana got to make spoons out of clam shells one day in their history class (they both opted out of trying the clams--which surprised me as I thought Kiana might try and like them). . .

and another day they wove baskets (which yes, they wore on their heads for the silly picture).

We spend another class period learning about Picasso because he was just too fun.  This was our last meeting before the Christmas break, so it was a good day for review, too.  They did great with the matching game we played, and I am pleased with their retention.

Such a cute group of kids!

We had planned a little party after the classes, but didn't tell the children, which was super fun for all involved.  Cheryl snuck some cookie decorating into her science class in preparation for the party as she had the kids make the periodic table out of sugar cookies.

Is that the best and neatest idea ever, or what?

All the kids were very surprised by the party as we got to eat pizza, play games, and just generally have a great time.

I love the memories and relationships the kids are building, and I love the support we moms offer one another.

December Freezer Cooking

Jamie planned the meals and took care of our shopping for our monthly cooking day this time.  Here are the recipes she chose:

Slow Cookers Chili-3

Million Dollar Casserole-3

Taco Soup--3.75

Potato Soup 3.5

Parmesan Garlic Pizza Pasta-3

Crockpot Applesauce BBQ Chicken-4

Crock-pot Honey Garlic Chicken-3

French Chicken-4

Isn't that pile of food rewarding?!  I love these ladies, and love this time we have together!

I Gave Dating a Chance

I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes by Jeramy Clark

I finished this the end of last year but just haven't had a chance to sit down and articulate my thoughts on it.  I liked it, for the most part.  I thought it was a pretty balanced guideline for dating christians.

I have to admit to some wry grins as I read, because he was obviously writing to refute Joshua Harris's "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and while hinting that he found Harris's book a legalistic set of rules ("perfect formula") about how to find a spouse, he himself had his own lists of rules.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to someone compiling a list of guidelines for. . .for example, accountability (1. find someone of the same sex you can trust, 2. be consistent in meeting together, 3. establish guidelines for the times to discuss a list of questions instead of just hanging out, 4. be willing to listen to what the partner advises, 5. be willing to say the tough thing, 6. speak the truth in love, 6. be specific in setting goals such as avoiding improper speech or avoiding inappropriate alone time, 7. pray for one another). . .but I grimace when this author's lists are "okay" and the other author's lists are legalistic.

I also hesitated and penciled question marks in the margins when the author said things like "God wants to see you contented and filled" and applied Psalm 37:4 to God wanting to fill a person's desire to date someone, and even some implication that it honors God when we have romantic feelings toward someone because it shows Him that we appreciate His creation.  Yes, God wants us to be contented IN HIM and filled WITH HIM.  Don't start young people on that road paved with "God wants me to be happy."  And I surely don't have to spell out the potential slippery slope when we start with a foundation of appreciating God's creation as justification for having interest in a member of the opposite sex.

I'm also torn at his encouragement of "casual dating."  He encourages dating people in a lighthearted way when you are in a season of not being ready for marriage, just to learn how to interact in a relationship and to get to know members of the opposite sex.  While that might sound good in theory, it's hard for me to believe it can actually work in practice.  Rarely, in my experience and observation, do both people truly have a "lighthearted" approach.  They might both agree to that idea, but one is usually hoping that with time and exposure the other will start to share the romantic feelings he or she already has, or they might start out that way, but then one tends to develop feelings for the other.  It sounds good in theory, but seems fraught with opportunity for hurt and compromise to me.

Now that I have the negative aspects out of the way, there were many, many positive points.  I really appreciated his thoughts on the selfishness and attention-seeking driven desires of flirting, his focus on being God-honoring in our conduct, his warnings against pride and especially viewing dating as an interview to see if the other person is "good enough for me", and the importance of thinking independently "without the tyranny of needing to compare ourselves with others" (someone's gotta give me an AMEN! on that one!).  I like his guidelines while "on a date" such as focusing on conversation more than activity and his discussions of purity, what it is, and how to maintain it.  I especially liked his advice about having help and involvement from parents and friends instead of sneaking around.

I'm glad I read it as there are many good points.  As usual, however, I have some of my own thoughts that don't line up with his, so I take what seems good and leave other points behind.

Happy New Year 2015

I thought I would post our letter we sent to several friends and family members this year.  I hadn't sent a year-end wrap up since 2010, but I had fun reflecting over the last year.  Enjoy!

Hello family and friends!

Is it necessary to write a letter summarizing our year in this age of Facebook? Yet not everyone is on Facebook, and I have enjoyed reading updates from other friends this season, so here are some highlights from our 2014:

ARYANA JOY was born April 17 and we were blessed to be chosen as her family. She has been an absolute JOY to us (although we aren't always smiling at 3 am when she has trained us to get up and replace her pacifier—do you KNOW how old we are?!) and we are all crowded around her little finger. She is a very happy baby and is determined to grow up as quickly as possible as she crawls all over the house, pulls herself up to everything (and then holds on with only one hand), claps her hands, raises her hands over her head when we say “Aryana is sooooo big!” and mimics sounds and facial expressions. She has been one of the greatest blessings of our year.

TYRELL is four years old and is busy, busy, busy. He loves to work and is always helping Mommy cook or care for little sister, or he's helping Daddy carry wood in, work in the garage, or work in the garden during the summer. He has enough energy for three kids and is very physical—wrestling or boxing is his very favorite game. He also loves to listen to us read books to him, play board games with family, and work puzzles.

KIANA is seven years old and loves music, dancing, listening to read-aloud books (Little House on the Prairie and Pippi Longstocking have been among her favorites this year) and changing her clothes (she loves hand me downs from her cousins and told me this week “Adi picks out the very BEST dresses!”). She has figured out reading this fall and wants to start Taekwando after the first of the year. She really enjoys history in our homeschool and got to attend ballet performances of The Snow Queen and The Nutcracker this month. This year she mastered both the cartwheel and the one handed-cartwheel and she does all sorts of crazy flips on the trampoline.

EASTON is eight years old and loves to play with Legos, build with snap circuits, robotics, and anything else that involves building. Daddy bought him a go-kart this summer and he has worn a path through our yard and yes—through the ditch. There are also circles in the gravel of our driveway from him spinning out doing donuts. He has really taken off with reading this fall and frequently has his nose buried in a book (fist pump from Mom!!) such as Mr. Popper's Penguins, Magic Tree House series, Calvin and Hobbes, or the Ralph the Mouse series. His favorite subject this year is science and he also really likes math. Oh, and he also loves art and history. And reading. Basically, he likes all of school except for penmanship. He hates penmanship. He enjoys baseball, soccer, and also wants to start taking Taekwando lessons.

DESTRY is seventeen and still spends hours every day in the basement making music. He has earned several exciting opportunities this Fall including participation in a master class with Anne Akiko Meyers, is a soloist in the Four Seasons (by Vivaldi) performance, and was selected as the violinist for the honors piano trio (composed of a piano, cello, and violin). He serves on our local volunteer fire department, and enjoys working for area farmers and our neighbor who owns an excavation business. Destry enjoys leading the singing with our church family and does a very good job teaching from the Bible—he is a student of the Word. Unfortunately, Alan and I have shared with him our love for 80s music, so he runs around the house belting out the lyrics at the top of his lungs and he has signed up with some kind of alert from our local 80s radio station so they text him upcoming songs he might like to hear. Very annoying.

BRIANA is eighteen and graduated from high school in May. She has been working for Jaarsma Bakery in Pella all year, and recently accepted a position as clerk to Iowa State Representative Ted Gassman for the 2015 legislative session. She ran off to Colorado with a friend for a week-long camp in August, participated in an intensive basics of cosmetology class in Kansas City, and has been traveling to Missouri to spend time with friends on her days off. We never see her anymore. She is still making and selling slings for carrying babies, enjoys serving young mothers by providing childcare, and still enjoys sewing, quilting, and knitting when she has time.

SHONYA (is a few months older than Alan, yes, but we'll save Alan for last) continues to stay busy homeschooling the children and managing the home when not otherwise occupied by reading books. She has enjoyed some wonderful ladies' Bible studies this year and has been richly blessed spending time with friends at book discussion club, in cooperative learning opportunities for her children, making up meals for our freezers, or just talking, laughing, and eating. She got to travel to New York to see a dear friend who is experiencing some serious health issues this Fall where they spent all their time sharing their hearts and laughing (instead of sleeping) and DID New York City in a day (or perhaps NYC did her—that was a full day!) Shonya also got to see two of her favorite musicals this year—Evita and Phantom of the Opera. Lest you think her life is all unicorns and rainbows, Shonya (it feels so weird to refer to myself in third person!) also developed plantar fasciitis this year. Ouch. Apparently one should wear expensive, supportive shoes instead of running around barefooted or in cheap flip flops (who knew?!).

ALAN is still happily working for Alliant Energy and serves as president of the board for the local crisis pregnancy center. He recently completed a five-month study of the book of Hebrews with our local congregation and was blessed with the opportunity to share what the Lord has taught us through adoption at our annual summer church meeting/conference. He enjoyed coaching baseball for Easton and Kiana this summer, raised and butchered 70 chickens, and tried his hand at raising turkeys for the first time. Now that the outdoor temperatures are cooling, he keeps our house at (a stifling—I have no need of a winter wardrobe) 76 degrees with his diligent harvesting of wood.

Our family enjoyed a trip to Chicago this summer where we hit all the major museums (free with our Science Center membership—woo, hoo!), the Shedd Acquarium, and (perhaps the highlight of the trip) Medieval Times. While we feasted (with our hands, of course) on chicken, potatoes, bread and soup (no, we didn't eat the soup with our hands, we drank it from the bowl), noble knights jousted for our entertainment. Imagine Kiana's delight when she was declared Queen of the Tournament--she wore her sash proudly.

We are thankful to the Lord for all His many blessings as we look over this last year. He has used fellow Christians to remind us to trust in Him and He has blessed us with many rich friendships along the way. We are thankful for your presence in our lives and wish you the very best throughout this next year.

Sending our love,

Our Family

Reading Goals for 2015

Last year I read 82 books, but many of them were modern fiction novels.  This year I am going to try to be more purposeful with my reading choices, and a friend has inspired me to create a list of books I would like to read this year.

I am setting a goal of 75 books, but I won't plan a list that long!  For now, here are a few books I would like to read this year (and I'm coming back to edit this post with the month I crossed each book off my list):

• The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer (my choice for Carrie's Classics Bookclub)
• The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (a re-read, also for Carrie's Bookclub)
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (with Destry)
• The Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway (with Destry)  January
• Left Neglected by Lisa Genova (author of Still Alice) January
• Escape from Reason by Francis Schaeffer
• Respectable Sins:  Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Jerry Bridges
• Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker
• The Rosie Effect by Don Tillman (sequel to The Rosie Project) January
• Don't Give Up, Don't Give In (another book about Zamperini of Unbroken)
• I Am Malala:  The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban
• The Prodigal God:  Rediscovering the Heart of the Christian Faith by Timothy Keller January
• You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt
• Better Late Than Early by Raymond and Dorothy Moore (a re-read)

I expect to read more books than this, of course, but I'm making this list to hold myself accountable to at least read these books.

Are there any books you are determined to read this year?

Three Quick Book Reviews

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

I read this because it was on the "what women born in the 1970s are reading" list and. . .well, it certainly reflects a prominent worldview, I'll give it that.  The writing was good enough that I developed feelings (albeit mostly negative) for the characters, so I'll give it an "it was ok" rating.

I understand that the author was trying to encourage the reader to live life to its fullest.  And I understand that she was advocating for the freedom of choice.

But I was frustrated with her characters, with both their paralysis (ha! no pun intended!) and with their selfishness.  I was frustrated that they allowed themselves to be defined--and limited--by events from their past.  I was frustrated  (and would think the modern reader in my age group would be even more so!) by the portrait of a woman being unable to figure out who she is or take steps to self-fulfillment without the influence and prodding of a man.

Most of all, I was saddened by the view of what makes life worth living--what life is valuable.  As I said, it certainly reflects a modern worldview.

The Last Anniversary by Liane Moriarty

This was a little slower start than some other Moriarty books, but I think she redeemed it as the book continued.  What I love about Moriarty is her characterization and the way her characters are real--they don't live perfect little lives, but rather are relatable.  Whether it's jealousy, insecurity, postpartum depression, or living with the consequences of a lie, she writes in such a way that we can relate to the characters.

She is also very perceptive about human nature.  I was quite struck with this quote:  "There is something about Veronika that makes Sophie want to fold her arms tightly across her chest and say 'You can't have any more of me.'. . .It feels like if she spends too much time with Veronika there will be nothing left of her.  She's like a vampire sinking her fangs into Sophie's neck and sucking her dry."

I have struggled in relationships when I felt this way.  Some friends smother us, copy us, insinuate themselves into our other relationships until we instinctively hold a part of ourselves back just to protect ourselves and keep a nugget of our own identity before we become exactly the same.

It's this perception into human nature that keeps me coming back for another Moriarty time and time again!


Three Wishes by Liane Moriarty


Moriarty transports me from reality into a relatable plot with engaging characters.  She makes me laugh while also making me examine and appreciate my life.

This particular story addresses sibling relationships, marriage, domestic abuse, and even challenges the reader to recognize their parents as people--not just parents.

Her books provide me with a little escape during naptime or after the kids have gone to bed.

Reading in 2014

At the end of each year I like to go back and review my reading list for the year.  I was a little surprised and disappointed in myself at my reading choices during 2014, but in my defense, I *did* have a baby who kept me tired with her refusal to sleep through the night, which kept me from desiring to tackle challenging books.  :)

I read 82 books this year and many of those were current fiction.  I actually read several books from a list of what women born in the 1970s are reading.  That was interesting, especially when I considered the worldview of some of the authors.  I also got caught up reading several easy fiction books by two different authors, Elizabeth Berg and Liane Moriarty, because I enjoyed their characterization.

A friend asked me recently "what I read for--an escape, for self-help, a good mystery, ideas, words used just right, or what?"  That was a fun question to ponder.  I answered her with the following:

Sometimes it's a great story that takes me away. Sometimes it's for characterization so I can learn about people and what makes them tick. Sometimes it's to appreciate "masterful writing" (although, alas, that is rare and so hard to find). 
Other times, yes, it's about ideas. To be challenged to grow in some way. To step out of my comfort zone, to evaluate what I believe and why.
Lately it's more the former than the latter. I'm tired, and books are my escape.  I'm having a hard time finishing the "idea" books because when I find TIME to read, I need to just shut my brain off. 

I loved the question she posed, and would love to read other people's answers.  If you read, what do YOU read for?

And now, without further ado, here are my top ten books I read in 2014 in no particular order, chosen either because I particularly enjoyed them or because of the effect they had on my thoughts and/or life:

• The Color of Water:  A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother--I didn't write a review of this one because I knew it would be too long.  But I enjoyed it because I am a White mother to a Black boy.  I enjoyed it because I could really relate to it as his mother was born within ten years of my grandmother and the author was born within five years of my mother and I found the simultaneous stories of their lives and time periods fascinating.  I enjoyed it because it is a story of endurance, of overcoming, of strength of character and it was well-written.
• To Kill a Mockingbird--This was my fourth time reading this classic, and I still loved it on this reading with my teenagers.  I didn't write a fresh review, but here is one I wrote a few years ago.
• The Rosie Project--I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and am eagerly awaiting the release of the sequel.
• Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full--This was very good for me to read in this busy season of my life.  It actually would probably be a good one for me to read again next year!
• Still Alice--This fictional novel about a women with early-onset Alzheimer's will likely stay with me for years to come.  Heart-wrenching.
• Animal Farm--Reading and discussing this with my teens was memorable and elicited emotions like anger and trepidation.
• What's It Like to be Married to Me?--I read and discussed this one with five dear friends and enjoyed it very much.  I find that it's best to constantly be focusing and working on my marriage, and this book had some positive effects on my marriage.
• The Hundred and One Dalmations--This was my favorite read aloud with my little ones.  I had never read it before, and we enjoyed it tremendously.  What excellent writing!
• The Glass Castle/Half Broke Horses--I'm cheating, I know I am, but I'm counting these two books as one. They are written by the same woman, and together they give a fuller picture of the author's family.  I am absolutely fascinated by this family's unique experiences.  I like to learn about people and examine what makes them tick, and this family is quite the case!
• Black Baby White Hands--I haven't written my review of this one yet, but it has been especially powerful to me this year.  It is the memoir of a Black man who was adopted by a White family.  It hasn't been easy for me to read (emotionally), so I have set it aside several times over the six weeks it took me to read it.  The author is very insightful and philosophical and his prose is filled with figurative language.  I am still processing this one, but I think it's going to impact my thinking for years to come.

So now, as I'm planning what to read next year, do you have a recommendation for me?  

And do tell, what do YOU read for?