The Song

I went to see The Song at the movie theater with Alan and two other couples last Friday when it opened.  In the interests of full disclosure, I will admit that my interest was first piqued by the fact that my distant cousin, Ali Faulkner, had a leading role.

I keep thinking about the movie, however, and that raises it up a few notches from just going to see my cousin in a movie.  I'm also looking forward to watching (and discussing!) it with my teenagers.

In a nutshell, the movie is about a singer who gets married and his love for his wife inspires a song which rockets him to stardom.  He begins to travel more and their marriage is tested, each of their characters are tested, and they have to decide where to go from there.

But it's about so much more.  I keep reflecting on the many messages and themes woven throughout the movie and the more I think about it, the more I like it.

I love the way Scripture was woven through the story.  I recognized passages from Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon, and think some were from Proverbs.  This was incredibly well done.

I love the idea.  I really, really love the general idea of the story.  The main character, Jed King, is the son of David King.  David. . .as in David of the Old Testament.  David was a famous artist who made some big mistakes--such as seeing a friend's wife skinny dipping, betraying his friend, and experiencing the friend's death.  Does this story sound familiar to anyone?  Then David's son, Solomon. . .er, I mean Jed. . .is determined not to repeat his father's mistakes.  He asks the Lord for wisdom.  And he experiences all that the world has to offer before declaring them vanity, vanity.

I look forward to discussing with my children the importance of seeking a man or woman of integrity to marry.  Integrity and strong character.  Who will they be when the trials of life come?  How will they handle adversity, temptation, mistakes?   Who they are is so much more important than being whisked off your feet or flattered by attention and charming words (or songs).

I look forward to discussing with my children the importance of "leaving and cleaving"--of transferring your loyalty from your family of origin to your spouse, even while honoring your parents.  Marriage is to be held in honor and the marriage bed undefiled, and this movie provides a good opportunity to discuss this.  Unfortunately, the marriage bed is a prime place to practice selfishness, and it's good for people to have the proper expectations and attitude before going into marriage.  This was tactfully handled, but as I have discussions with young christians, I think some of the points that come up in the movie are good for people to consider and discuss prior to marriage.

The forbidden or "strange" woman of Proverbs 5-7 is fleshed out in the character of Shelby Bale and she comes right out and reveals her worldview to Jed.  "Remove your way far from her!" you'll want to shout, but alas, Jed is one of those people who doesn't learn from the mistakes or teachings of others--he has to take the field trip.  Oh how I hope and pray my children will choose to learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before rather than insisting on learning the hard way.

While there were times I thought the movie dragged a little, and I wasn't a fan of the music, I still liked "The Song."  For it was the song--the story--of living and loving and falling and growing and being picked up.  It's about being human and about being forgiven.  It's a life story of redemption that I can relate to.

Elf Party, Round Two

Well, it had been several months since we had a family party (especially since Alan was sick on my 40th birthday so we had to cancel that one--wasn't that inconsiderate of him?!) so we decided to have another Elf party this last weekend.   We only invited one family of dear friends for the last Elf party, but this time we went all out--we invited four other families for a grand total of 32 people in our home.

We went a little crazy on decorating too, which was lots of fun.  The kids helped me make paper chains and snowflakes to hang all over the house, and Briana wrote quotes from the movie Elf on the mirrors in the living room and bathroom (Smiling's my favorite--appropriate, don't you think?)  We even printed out some cute banners boasting lines from the movie to hang on one wall above the candy table and on the windows and made "World's Best Cup of Coffee" labels for the coffee cups.

First we all gathered in the living room to watch the movie and eat the requisite "Stinky Santa" (beef and cheese) sandwiches (which are so tasty, by the way).  We also served finger food fruits and veggies before the candy feast began (hoping that might balance out the sugar from the candy, candy corn, candy canes and syrup!).

We were packed in there, so it was hard to get everyone in the picture.  It was a pretty fun group because the Nooks, like us, had seen the movie several times and could quote many of the lines.  The Altmans and Kirkmans had seen it before, but it had been a long time and they didn't remember it very well.  The Horns had never seen it and were anxious to see what the fuss was all about.  That was a fun combination of experience.

After the movie, it was time to let the games begin!  I had some stations set up around the house for the "individual games", such as a jar filled with candy corn for people to guess how many there were and a place for people to make and hang snowflakes to compete for the best paper snowflake.

Snowflake fun.  I got an email from Amy the day after the party saying that her kids loved learning how to improve their snowflake skills and were filling her house with paper snowflakes.  Fun!

We had to break into age groups for the coke-chugging contest and the first group was made up of kiddos from age three through age 10.  The oldest boy of the group, Justin, won this round and chose some Angry Bird popping candy for his prize.

The second group included kids age 12 through all the teenagers.  Unfortunately, Destry missed the party due to the stomach flu so he retreated to the basement.  (I know, it might have been mean to continue on with the party, but everyone was looking forward to it, there was no date available to reschedule, and he is old enough to take care of himself when he's sick, so he was just fine.  But we missed him anyway--especially in games like this).  His good friend Jarret won this round and chose a candy cane full of M&M's for his prize.

Next all the dads, Brett, Dave, Alan, Gerald and James got into the competition.  I figured Alan would win, but Gerald easily beat the other men by a mile.  Way to go Gerald!  He declined the offer of cute candy ankle socks as his prize (although ironically, his wife later won them in the candy corn guess-the-number game).

Here we have Kiana sniffing away at the "It's not free candy" (chewed gum) game to match the flavor with the correct wrapper.  The little stinker was one of the winners of this game!  I will note that it was a little disgusting to make this game as I had the kids help me chew the gum and then had to stick their slobbery globs on the paper plate.

The "I like to whisper too" game is always lots of fun as we passed quotes from the movie from person to person (like the telephone game) to see if it could make it all the way around.  I just love parties and games like this because kids and adults of all ages play together.

This was another good game to get people giggling and being silly as they misunderstood words or a particular quote just hit them funny.

Of course, no Elf party is complete without playing the "I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnimuggins" game.  Briana and her friend Ellie tried valiantly to stuff large marshmallows in their mouths and still be able to say the above phrase, but they weren't even close to winning.

Cadie and Trevor struggled to keep their marshmallows in their mouths.

The real contest came down to Alan and Deana.  I was amazed at how many marshmallows Deana was able to cram into her little mouth, but she was determined.  Alas, Alan finally edged her out of the game with marshmallow number 10.  Be glad I spared you the picture of him letting the gooey slimy marshmallows drop from his mouth onto the plate.

After the silly Elf-inspired games were over, the kids ran around and played, the teenagers pulled out Pictionary for lots of fun and laughs, and the adults sat around to giggle and gab until about 11 o'clock.

The Elf party was pronounced a great success. . .and I still haven't mustered up the energy to take down the decorations.  Maybe tomorrow. . .

Here To Serve

It's been a busy week and I'm carving the rest of this week out for family and friends, but I'm going to quickly write one post just to share a few things with you that you won't want to miss.

• FOR THOSE WHO WANT A MEANINGFUL MOVIE TO WATCH:

I really feel like going on and on about Temple Grandin which our family recently watched.  It brought tears to my eyes more than once and was very encouraging and inspirational.  It made us consider how beautifully God makes each of us--different, but not less.  It's a powerful lesson in how to treat others, even those you might not understand.  It's a beautiful example of love, perseverance, and courage triumphing in the end.

I'll stop now, but you really should watch this movie as you're enjoying this holiday weekend.

• FOR THOSE WHO WANT BLACK HAIR CARE PRODUCTS AT A SLIGHTLY LOWER RATE:

Check out this amazing collection of Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals!  If you have no idea where to start, I would suggest Blended Beauty and Bee Mine as my two favorite brands and they are both having sales.

• FOR THOSE WHO HOMESCHOOL AND/OR WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOUR KIDDOS:

(from http://www.freehomeschooldeals.com/)

 Alexander & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Lapbook

with Teacher’s Guide included!

This lapbook is valued at $15.99, currently on-sale for a limited time for $5.00, and yours FREE for a limited time.

Use coupon code: freehomeschooldeals8 at checkout on Currclick from 11/21-11/23/12

Your total for the  Alexander & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Lapbook will read $0.00 after using the above coupon code at checkout. You will not need to enter any credit card information.

ENJOY AND HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY!

Reflections on October Baby

A movie about making choices.

Choosing life.  Choosing love.  Choosing forgiveness.

I took my teenagers to see the new movie, October Baby, which was inspired by Gianna Jesson's story.  The main character, Hannah, learns at the age of 19 that she was adopted shortly after she survived a failed abortion.  The movie explores the emotions and reactions of several people affected, including Hannah, her adoptive parents, her birthmother, and the nurse at the abortion clinic, as Hannah sets out to discover her story.

There are many worthwhile messages in this movie which are especially meaningful to me, as an adoptive mother.  I'll try not to spoil the outcome as I share some of my reflections:

• I am grateful we have open adoptions with our children's birthfamilies and that our children will never have to live "that moment" of realization that they were adopted.  I don't understand the decision to keep a child's adoption from her and I can understand why she would feel like her entire life was a lie.
• I didn't understand why she set out on her journey to meet her birthmother by herself.  It made me really sad for her.  I would think that I, as an adoptive mother, would want to be there for her, especially as an adoptee just never knows what she will find on the other end.  Will it be joy or pain, reconciliation or rejection?  I would want to be there for my daughter as she goes through that.  Yet perhaps it was a good symbolism of how alone she felt, not knowing where she belonged or who she was as she reeled with the shock.
• I thought the movie was real, and I appreciated that.  It was tempting to criticize some of the reactions, but the truth is, we all have our issues, we all have our baggage, and we don't always respond in some perfect little fairytale way.  The adoptive father hadn't healed from previous loss, he was wrestling with his trust in God, and he seemed to be holding on to some resentment for financial costs.  That's just the way we are in life sometimes, isn't it?  It's a good reminder for us to first examine ourselves for issues we need to let go of and second to extend compassion as we interact with others as they will have issues that affect your interactions with them.  I also thought Hannah's role was pretty real.  I don't know how I would react to the news that I was adopted *now* let alone at the age of 19.  I thought some of her reactions were immature as she flounced off here and there. . .but that was a believable reaction as I think about it.  She was experiencing a great amount of pain and loss--who am I to say what is an appropriate reaction?
• The movie was honest.  Adoption is painful.  As I've said many times before, adoption involves loss, frequently for all involved.  The adoptee loses her first family and frequently her sense of identity.  She wrestles with the rejection, wondering what is wrong with her.  In the movie, my heart broke when Hannah said to her father "Thank you for wanting me."  That is just wrong.  Who should ever feel it necessary to thank their parents for wanting them?  That's just a basic need for all of us--I don't even think about thanking my parents for wanting me.  I just take it for granted that of course they do.  But then, I've never experienced that feeling of rejection, of not being wanted.
• One of my favorite parts of the movie dealt with Hannah's search for freedom--freedom from her burden of pain and emptiness, anger and hate.  Before she leaves to find her birthmother, she writes in her journal that she has to know the truth, and asks if the truth will set her free.  After she gets back home, she is counseled to give forgiveness rather than carrying a burden of hate.  She is pointed to the cross with the reminder "if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" (from John 8:36).  I think this was the best message of all.  We don't always get "the truth" or the closure or acceptance that we need from humans, but we can still have healing and freedom in Christ.  I love this message and could write an entire post on it alone.  Consider what it means in each of our lives.

• I was struck by the story of the actress who played the role of the birthmother as she herself had chosen abortion.  The pain that lingers with a woman after she kills her baby haunts me.  I am angry with an industry that brainwashes women into believing it is an easy solution to erase their mistake and then blithely continues on making money as women suffer in silence and regret.
• I was both sickened and saddened as the abortion nurse shared "if you're told something enough times, you start to believe it.  We were told it's just tissue."  I wonder if we are speaking the truth enough to our children, our families, our churches and communities to counter their belief in the oft-spoken lies.
• I also appreciated the wisdom the police officer shared as Hannah drew closer to finding her birthmother.  He said "remember life isn't always black and white.  Hate the crime, not the criminal."  Right and wrong are still right and wrong, I don't think he's negating that.  I think he was reminding her that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and there is always room for forgiveness.  We can extend compassion and forgiveness just as we want others, and especially God, to grace us with compassion and forgiveness when we repent.

I hope you'll get the opportunity to watch October Baby and share its truths with people in your life.  Help others believe that a baby is a baby at conception and if it's left alone, it will result in viable life outside the womb.  If it's just tissue and not life, why the urge to kill it?  If we tell the truth enough times, maybe others will start to believe it.

Partying Elf-Style

In the spirit of my bloggy friend Laura's Annual Elf Party, we decided to have a combination Elf/New Year's Eve party with some long-time family friends this year.

 I hope it won't ruin the plot if I tell you it was a *huge* success and our children now say we throw the "best parties ever".  Fortunately, Kristina and I set the precedent by "needing" to go out the night before to eat supper together and "plan" the party for the next night (we work best under pressure of last-minute deadlines).

Kiana and Ava help the mommies decorate the candy table.

Since "elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup", we had candy on our party menu--lots and lots of candy!

I love this picture of our ten kiddos because Elyese (back left) and Tyrell (back right) are distracted by one another which is just the way these two are!

Here is a marginally better picture of our precious kiddos with all the candy arrayed before them.  We had enough food for at least twenty more people!

We thought the kids should have *something* somewhat healthy, so we had "Stinky Santa Sandwiches" before the candy while watching the movie together. 

"You stink.  You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa."

They were delicious.  Kristina made little meatballs and brought them to my house ready to bake.  Then we put the greasy beef on a Hawaiian sweet bread roll, topped with sliced cheese, and smashed them together.  Yum, yum!

Kristina also spoiled me by attempting to recreate the amazing "potato balls" from the Ore House several weeks ago.  These were very good, but might need some perfecting to measure up.  That's fine with me as I'm always up for an excuse to eat yummy food with good friends!

 

We had so much fun laughing together as we ate our "supper" and watched the movie.  My favorite part of the movie (this time) was watching Patience giggle in response to Buddy's guzzling of a 2-Liter jug of Coke which led to his gigantic belch and classic "Did you hear that???"

  

 After the movie, it was time to play Elf-inspired family games.  Kristina was the winner of the marshmallow game, patterned after Buddy's stuffing cotton balls in his mouth thinking they were marshmallows.  She just kept stuffing them in while saying "I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninny-muggins" and making it look easy while I, on the other hand, gagged on marshmallow number three! I don't remember her final count--something like 10 or 11--hilarious!

 

Alan did pretty well too.  All the older kids participated, but no one could come close to Kristina or Alan.  I'm not going to say a word about people and their big mouths. . .

One thing I loved about this party idea was the way we all played together and had a great time.  Everyone got involved in the little contests and the "I LIKE TO WHISPER TOO" game. 

We wrote several fun quotes on index cards and played a game similar to the telephone game to see how well the quotes made it to the end of the line.

It was great fun for all ages.  Easton's favorite line was "I'm singing. . .I'm in a store and I'm siiiinnggiiiiinnnnng!"

We couldn't let the night go by without a "coke-chugging contest".  Easton and Ian are such great little buddies, I couldn't resist posting this picture (and they both had sock issues that night too!).  Easton was so cute, he took a big drink and then looked at me with big eyes and said "I don't want to drink it all, Mommy."  Of course he didn't have to, the little sweetie!

The contest this round was really between Alan and Corey--and as I recall Alan won.  The man's gut is coated with iron!

But the funnest challenge was among our three oldest kiddos.  Ally was intimidated, and everyone was predicting Destry as the winner.  My sweet, ladylike Briana made up her mind, however, that little brother was NOT going to win without a fight.  "May the best sibling win. . ."

Guzzle, guzzle, chug, chug, chug. . .

Hilarious!!  It was a perfect tie!!!  Briana and Destry brought their empty bottles down from their mouths in the exact same instant.  I love Ally's sheepish grin as she reveals how much pop she has left.  And notice Briana holding her stomach--there for a few minutes all she could say was "that wasn't very smart, that wasn't very smart", but she got over it and we all had a good laugh.

Other games included timed snowflake contests, identify the chewed bubblegum, and eat Buddy's favorite breakfast, but we didn't get to all of them because we were having too much fun (and our stomachs were overworked!).

 

 The boys had fun playing with cars, pirate ships and battleground and the girls had fun "fixing each other up" with makeup and nail polish while the older ones played board games and chatted..

  

 

 

The daddies sacrificed to play an exciting game of Hi-Ho Cherrio with the little girls and all ages gathered for one of Alan's infamous stories (complete with crazy voices). 

 

It truly was a night to remember and I can't thank Laura enough for sharing her fantastic ideas.  Only about 350 days until we can do it again. . . :D

Bella, the Movie

We watched this movie again last night, and I just want to invite you to watch it as well. I'm going to try really hard not to spoil it for you as I share my musings. It's kind of confusing as it has lots of flashbacks and even foreshadowing so sometimes you don't understand exactly what is going on, but it all comes together at the end. It is even more enjoyable to watch the second time, in my opinion.

In a nutshell, this movie is about a moment in time that changes your life. It is about a woman deciding between life and death for her unborn child. It is about a man learning to live again after a tragic moment.

There were several other thoughts prompted by this movie, however. I couldn't help but think about how different people's lives can be. One person may have lost a parent when she was a child, have no siblings, and her other parent just checked out when the spouse died. In contrast, another person has lively, joyful parents and brothers who express their love in words, action, hugs, and spending time together. The first person goes through major life events and pain such as job loss or unplanned pregnancy without a support system--totally alone. The second person, in contrast, experiences unbelievable pain, grief, regret and tragedy--but his family is by his side through every step.

This movie also made me think about priorities and seizing the moment. It made me think about putting others before myself. As you're busy with your day, and what you are doing seems sooooooooo important, are you willing to ditch it all because you see a need? What if ditching it all is going to really cost you--your entire day, emotional intimacy, perhaps your job and money?? It's not convenient; it's not fun; it's not what you feel like doing. But someone needs you. The choice you make can affect the other person for their entire life. The choice you make can affect the rest of YOUR life.

Finally, the concept of hospitality stood out to me in this movie and made me examine myself. I couldn't help noticing how a family simply had an open door. They weren't worried about the house, what they were having for food, or about their own selfish plans. Instead, they cheerfully welcomed anyone at anytime. Their sons knew they could bring anyone home at the drop of the hat and they would be welcomed with open arms. This is how I want to be. I want my children and husband to not even think about if it would be 'ok' to bring someone home with them (but I have to admit I'm not there yet!)

I love the growth experienced by the characters of this movie. I saw selflessness heal a shattered heart and life when the character responded to need in someone else. I saw gratitude replace selfishness and despair. I saw life cover the gaping wound of death.