How Should We Then Live

Briana and Destry recently finished reading Francis Schaeffer's classic How Should We Then Live.  We had previously watched most of the episodes on dvd when studying the correlating period of history, but reading the book was so much better for them.  I'm behind in reviewing the books I've read the last couple of months (we've heard this before, right?) so I asked them to each write a quick blurb about how the book affected them.

I think they "got it".  Read their thoughts and prepare to read this great book if you haven't done so yet.

DESTRY:

How should we then live? A profound question really. A question that demands both thought and an answer. The purpose of How Should We Then Live by Francis Schaeffer is to trace the connection between thought and action in history. “What they are in their think world determines how they will act.” Throughout the entire book, Schaeffer focuses on the moral standard applied to each culture in history. He tells us the causes, effects, and future influences of each worldview by tracing the changes in the arts. Each time period in history uses the arts to manifest its answer to the questions “is there meaning in life? If so, what is it? And from whence does it come?” Schaeffer’s down to earth and simply stated style convincingly demonstrates the importance of absolutes in the structure of a civilization. He shows us how the lack thereof has produced the failures of Greece, Rome, Humanism, the Enlightenment, Darwinism, Nazi Germany, and even future America. Schaeffer closes his fascinating, eye opening, and even disturbing account with the simple question: “How should we then live?” Throughout the book we have been wondering how he will answer this thought provoking question. He gives us the source of this question from Ezekiel 33:1-11. The question is found in verse 10. Instead of answering it himself, he gives us God’s answer from verse 19:  if the wicked turn from his wickedness, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall live thereby. Schaeffer wants to encourage us to abstain from the great wickedness of placing anything in the place of our Creator and live by that which is lawful and right. This is “how we should then live.”

BRIANA:

How Should We then Live was assigned to us by mom as a part of our art appreciation course. While this book is about art, its true subject is much more. It is a history of human worldview starting with the ancient cultures of Greece and Rome, and finishing with the 1970’s. Dr. Schaeffer’s purpose with this book is to explain the thinking behind the actions of society; to explain why we do what we do. Art is a helpful tool for this, because artists use their works to express the worldviews of themselves and their societies. Dr. Schaeffer moves through Greece and Rome, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Reformation, and into the modern era, using art, politics, education and entertainment to describe how our worldviews affect our actions.

                I learned so much from How Should We then Live. I was especially fascinated by the last few chapters which dealt with the shifting worldview of America in the 1900’s. Dr. Schaeffer’s words gave me new insight into how humanism leads to pessimism which in turn leads to a desire to just “take it easy” in life, and do what feels good. Dr. Schaeffer explains that this progression is what happened in the sixties and seventies, and I can see it continuing today. I have been able to apply this book to my other areas of study, including history and government. I can more readily understand the “why” behind the “what” of people’s actions and decisions. This book has helped me examine my own worldview and realize that I need to reject humanism and embrace God’s love as the reason for my value.

                How Should We then Live is one of the best books I have ever read, and I believe it has been very beneficial to my education. I would go further to say that it is not just beneficial to education: it is essential. If you have not read this book, I urge you to do so. Your view of the world will be forever changed.   

The Kitchen Boy

If you are ever looking for a great, character-driven story to keep you up half the night, you might consider asking your friends on facebook for suggestions.  And if you have friends like mine, you just might end up reading a gem like The Kitchen Boy:  A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander.

This book is an excellent piece of historical fiction.  Even though my eyes got really, really tired, I kept wanting to read "just one more chapter" so I could see what happened next.  The author truly is a storyteller.  While I knew nothing (seriously, nothing at all.  I knew nothing about the Romanov family--there is so much to learn and so little time!) about this time period, the country of Russia, or the real-live people who are characters in this book, The Kitchen Boy piqued my curiosity and motivated me to learn a little.  It's always enjoyable when an author stays true to true events of a revolution, the last Tsar and his family (down to the haemophilia) and even the disreputable mystic-faith-healing Rasputin.  (fascinating!  It really is!)  And then when he takes a real-life mystery and speculates on what possibly happened. . .well, that's just fun!

I also enjoyed his commentary about the time period, the ingredients that resulted in the collapse of the Russian dynasty, and his insight into the character and motivations of historical figures:

"A great curse was unleashed that night, inundating every corner of his vast homeland.  If his comrades could commit such an act, was it any wonder that Stalin could kill upward of twenty million of his own people?  No, of course not.  On a hot night in the Siberian city of Yekaterinburg the individual had become expendable" (4).

"But in fact. . .in fact the dynasty itself exploded for a myriad or stupidly brilliant reasons.  Simply, it somehow stumbled upon a perfect, and yet altogether not random, chemical reaction:  you take one part decent man but not enlightened ruler, one part heartbroken mother clutching for any way to save her son, two parts inbred dynasty and gossip-obsessed court, one part Great War, and three parts uneducated, worn, and hungry people and-boom!-what do you get?  Revolution, terrible, terrible revolution, of course!. . .literally overnight a three-hundred-year old dynasty evaporated-poof, gone!-with no one lifting a finger to save it.  Ironic that the Soviet Union collapsed just as easily, which proves it was no better, that the cure, kommunizm, was in fact far worse than the disease itself"  (92).

"Bloodshed was not at all what he wanted. . .and yet any fool would admit that that was his legacy.  When Batyushka, the Dear Father, departed this world, he left behind a vast sea of blood, his own, his family's, his country's.  Up until the ironfisted, totalitarian rule of the Red tsars--the kommunisty, who made the terrible Ivan look like a choir boy-his reign was one of the most violent in all the history of Russia.  One must not forget that it was during the reign of Nicholas II that two disastrous wars, two bitter revolutions, and countless pogroms befell Holy Mother Russia.  And thought Tsar Nikolai wanted nothing more than to avoid violence, though many of the disasters were not of his doing, virtually all of them were his fault because he was Tsar, Russian Tsar, absolute Tsar, Orthodox Tsar.  When you look back through the decades, it now seems utterly obvious that there was no way it could be done, no way an autocrat could rule so vast a country, at least not without complete terror and oppression"  (73).

You'll likely want to read Carrie's review, as it's much more articulate than mine and she is the friend who kindly recommended it to me.  I think I'm going to have to read the next two books Alexander wrote about this time period!

Freezer Cooking--December

The girls and I had so much fun spending  a day cooking together last month, and we were so blessed by the ready-made meals in our freezer, that we decided to make this a monthly event.  I know others may not care about me monthly posting our freezer cooking adventures, but it's a handy way for me to keep it all in one place under the "freezer cooking" label so here it is.

Jenna, Jamie, Alena, me and Briana

In addition to the excuse to spend several hours with these fun ladies (which I have to admit is a major factor in my participation), another reason I like freezer cooking is because it makes some days/evenings soooo easy.  When we use a freezer meal, all I have to do is set it out ahead of time (although I recently read that they could be cooked frozen just bake them for time and a half).  Not only do I not have to cook that night, but cleanup is also super easy!  No piles of pots and pans and measuring spoons and mixing bowls to wash.  It really frees my time up for other things.

We've only tried one so far, which was the Breakfast Burrito. YUM!  It was so delicious.  We had friends here for the last couple days and I served these Friday morning.  They were so easy and yummy that I'm hoping to make up another batch to freeze and take with us when we go visit some friends next weekend.  That pepper jack cheese is just such a treat.

Next month it will be my turn to choose the eight meals and do the shopping for all of us.  In preparation, I treated myself to a book that has been in my Amazon wishlist for the last 2-3 years.  :)

 It seemed like a good excuse, don't you think?  I've only read to page 25 (for yes, this is more than a cookbook--it's more like a textbook!) but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

I'm listing the entrees Jamie chose for December with links to the recipes and I'll try to come back and rate them like I did last month.

Breakfast Burritos--5
Taco Braid--4
Orange Chicken--3
Black Bean Chicken--3
Chicken Parmesan--3.5
Lasagna--4
BBQ Beef--3.2
Smothered Pork Chops--4

Elf Party, Round Two

Well, it had been several months since we had a family party (especially since Alan was sick on my 40th birthday so we had to cancel that one--wasn't that inconsiderate of him?!) so we decided to have another Elf party this last weekend.   We only invited one family of dear friends for the last Elf party, but this time we went all out--we invited four other families for a grand total of 32 people in our home.

We went a little crazy on decorating too, which was lots of fun.  The kids helped me make paper chains and snowflakes to hang all over the house, and Briana wrote quotes from the movie Elf on the mirrors in the living room and bathroom (Smiling's my favorite--appropriate, don't you think?)  We even printed out some cute banners boasting lines from the movie to hang on one wall above the candy table and on the windows and made "World's Best Cup of Coffee" labels for the coffee cups.

First we all gathered in the living room to watch the movie and eat the requisite "Stinky Santa" (beef and cheese) sandwiches (which are so tasty, by the way).  We also served finger food fruits and veggies before the candy feast began (hoping that might balance out the sugar from the candy, candy corn, candy canes and syrup!).

We were packed in there, so it was hard to get everyone in the picture.  It was a pretty fun group because the Nooks, like us, had seen the movie several times and could quote many of the lines.  The Altmans and Kirkmans had seen it before, but it had been a long time and they didn't remember it very well.  The Horns had never seen it and were anxious to see what the fuss was all about.  That was a fun combination of experience.

After the movie, it was time to let the games begin!  I had some stations set up around the house for the "individual games", such as a jar filled with candy corn for people to guess how many there were and a place for people to make and hang snowflakes to compete for the best paper snowflake.

Snowflake fun.  I got an email from Amy the day after the party saying that her kids loved learning how to improve their snowflake skills and were filling her house with paper snowflakes.  Fun!

We had to break into age groups for the coke-chugging contest and the first group was made up of kiddos from age three through age 10.  The oldest boy of the group, Justin, won this round and chose some Angry Bird popping candy for his prize.

The second group included kids age 12 through all the teenagers.  Unfortunately, Destry missed the party due to the stomach flu so he retreated to the basement.  (I know, it might have been mean to continue on with the party, but everyone was looking forward to it, there was no date available to reschedule, and he is old enough to take care of himself when he's sick, so he was just fine.  But we missed him anyway--especially in games like this).  His good friend Jarret won this round and chose a candy cane full of M&M's for his prize.

Next all the dads, Brett, Dave, Alan, Gerald and James got into the competition.  I figured Alan would win, but Gerald easily beat the other men by a mile.  Way to go Gerald!  He declined the offer of cute candy ankle socks as his prize (although ironically, his wife later won them in the candy corn guess-the-number game).

Here we have Kiana sniffing away at the "It's not free candy" (chewed gum) game to match the flavor with the correct wrapper.  The little stinker was one of the winners of this game!  I will note that it was a little disgusting to make this game as I had the kids help me chew the gum and then had to stick their slobbery globs on the paper plate.

The "I like to whisper too" game is always lots of fun as we passed quotes from the movie from person to person (like the telephone game) to see if it could make it all the way around.  I just love parties and games like this because kids and adults of all ages play together.

This was another good game to get people giggling and being silly as they misunderstood words or a particular quote just hit them funny.

Of course, no Elf party is complete without playing the "I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnimuggins" game.  Briana and her friend Ellie tried valiantly to stuff large marshmallows in their mouths and still be able to say the above phrase, but they weren't even close to winning.

Cadie and Trevor struggled to keep their marshmallows in their mouths.

The real contest came down to Alan and Deana.  I was amazed at how many marshmallows Deana was able to cram into her little mouth, but she was determined.  Alas, Alan finally edged her out of the game with marshmallow number 10.  Be glad I spared you the picture of him letting the gooey slimy marshmallows drop from his mouth onto the plate.

After the silly Elf-inspired games were over, the kids ran around and played, the teenagers pulled out Pictionary for lots of fun and laughs, and the adults sat around to giggle and gab until about 11 o'clock.

The Elf party was pronounced a great success. . .and I still haven't mustered up the energy to take down the decorations.  Maybe tomorrow. . .

Son a Disappointment

Unless you are an avid book lover you just might think this post is going to be about a naughty child of mine.  Fortunately, my disappointment is not in a child, but in the most recent installment of Lois Lowry's series that started with Newbery-Award-Winning The Giver.

The Giver is a simply wonderful piece of dystopian literature for young teens (although I very much enjoyed it both times I read it as an adult) which was followed up by the less memorable Gathering Blue and thought-provoking The Messenger (my review here).  I was pretty excited when I heard she had released another book last fall, but I somehow didn't get around to reading it until last week.

Don't you just hate it when you anticipate something for a year and then it falls flat?

Son, this fourth book in the series, seems to exist merely to wrap up a few loose ends from the previous books.  It was an interesting idea to revisit Jonas's village and Gabe's story from the perspective of Gabe's birthmother, and it started out pretty well (even though I felt like I was reading the same story again only from a different perspective), but then she just seemed to randomly revisit all the old characters and try to connect them together while giving the reader a peek into "where they are now."  The confrontation with the Trademaster was particularly jarring and contrived, I thought.

Really, I think she could have just summarized this book with "and they all lived happily ever after."

Except that is inconsistent with the characters and world Lowry introduced us to.  The previous books were filled with richly developed characters and comprehensively described societies.  They showed us that the decisions we make have consequences, they taught us where true value lies, they reminded us to learn from the mistakes of the past--but these lessons were learned the hard way.  As nice as it might be to hope for a "happily ever after", Lowry had previously illustrated that we are human and there simply is no fairy-tale-ending on this earth.  I was disappointed in her betrayal of the society she had so eloquently created.  I think it was better to leave the reader wondering and caring about the characters than to try to wrap everything up and tie a pretty bow on top.

The Atonement Child

My friend Alana chose The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers for our November book discussion.  I had read the book several years earlier and as usual, enjoyed Francine's rich characterization and the way she uses a fictional story to illustrate a rich message and drive a point home.

At first glance, the theme for this particular novel was abortion.  What will the main character, an innocent, sheltered Christian college girl, choose when she conceives a child through rape?  The author exposes many points of view through the counsel she receives from her friends at the christian college, her pastor-majoring-fiance, her parents, and her grandmother.  As the story unfolds, we learn of others who were faced with the same decision--to kill, or not to kill.  A married woman with children whose doctor says delivering her baby will likely kill her.  An unmarried young woman whose boyfriend abandons her and she has her whole life before her and limited resources to care for a child.  Rivers even manages to smoothly insert the experience of an abortionist doctor into the main storyline.

I think Francine Rivers once again humanizes a hot topic.  She addresses all the issues, all the arguments people use to justify aborting a baby, by introducing us to characters we can care about and letting us feel the emotions.  Not only does she introduce us to characters as they wrestle through the decision, but she also shows us the consequences of their choices.

As I said, abortion is the theme of the novel at first glance.  Yet I think there is a deeper theme that makes the book so successful--what position do you give the Lord in your life?  Because the place you give the Lord determines how you handle the trials in your life.  Some people blame the Lord in anger, some people feel like the Lord let them down and cheated them from what they deserve (and after all their good works and service too!), some people decide they have to take their lives into their own hands because the Lord must have messed up or at least dropped the ball here, and some people are so bound by lists and rules and tradition that they don't even realize they are missing the Lord completely.  Other people, however, turn to the Lord, burrow into His rest and comfort, trustingly place their hand in His and follow where He leads.

In many ways, this book is a difficult read for me.  I can't help putting my nearly-18-year-old daughter in the place of the main character, which horrifies me.  I can't imagine how broken she would be by such an experience.  I'm also passionate about life and the blessing children are so abortion makes me feel sick to my stomach.  But it's a really good book, a well-told story, and it reminds me to continually keep the Lord on the throne and to trust Him with my life.  He never promises our lives will be easy or free of trials.  What He promises is that He will be there with us through it.

For Real Friday

I had too much fun first reading Laura's blog today, and then popping over to her friend's "For Real" post to read of a mom who couldn't remember the last time she had bathed her child.  It made me laugh and like this total stranger, so I thought I would turn today's (this week's??) funk into a For Real post as well.

FOR REAL:

• I stayed up past 1 am two nights this week to re-read The Hunger Games trilogy.  Why?  I don't know.  I realize it's pointless, they were fine to read once but twice?  really?  It's just such an interesting alternate universe and it sucks me in. . .
• My daughter stayed up past 11 pm two nights this week also reading The Hunger Games which irritated me mightily because she was tired and slow-moving the next morning.  (Because I, of course, would never do that!)
• I'm feeling kind of tired and crabby the last couple days (what? you think that's related to the above?  pschaw!)
• I still don't feel like I have any friends in this church congregation.  Sometimes I think it's my problem.  Most of the time I think it's everyone else's.  (hey, we're being real here, right?!)
• Sometimes on Sundays this song won't leave my head.  I'm just not a fan of big smiles, hearty handshakes, backslapping, and shallow conversations about nothing week after week.  Yet I'm tired of inviting people over, trying to get below the surface, and it just makes me feel lonely.
• I want to have a really fun New Year's Eve party this year.  It's my favorite excuse for a fun party with friends and silliness and laughs.  And I'm trying to justify inviting people I have the most fun with instead of thinking about my kids and who they would have the most fun with.  But we'll probably end up going where my teens will have a good time again this year.
• I picked a fight with my husband this week because he paid the homeowner's and auto insurance bill and the amount of it made me annoyed.  As if he's the one who chose the amount.  (You know we have two teen drivers, right?)
• When my teenaged son is in a bad mood or we are having a little rift in our relationship, I can always make him laugh by making a farting sound with my mouth.   Then he tells me I'm the weirdest mom ever.  But at least he's smiling at me when he says it.
• I think the worst thing about being a stay-at-home mom is the supper smells that torture me all day long.  Right now I have a beef brisket slowly cooking in the oven with garlic, thyme, oregano, onion, and sun-dried tomatoes.  It just makes me want to eat all day long.  Chips, chocolate, popcorn, whatever I can find. . .until I'm not hungry when supper time finally arrives.  Then I'm hungry after the kids go to bed.  Don't ask how those weight-loss goals of last Spring are coming along.
• If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't have let my son watch Napoleon Dynamite.  It is really, really, REALLY annoying to hear quoted day after day after day.

That's kind of therapeutic!  Let's be real--what are you REALLY thinking today?

Brain Integration Therapy

I'm so happy for Kiana's recent success with reading.  She went from being unable to remember what sound individual letters make (as recently as September) to reading six Bob books last month in order to earn her free personal pan Pizza Hut pizza through Book It. 

Despite her posed, frozen face, she was very excited and proud to get her own pizza.

As I shared earlier, we encountered some difficulties early in the school year and took a little journey of trial and error to educate mama on how to best help her.  I tend to be pretty relaxed with formal education in the early years so it might seem surprising that I was concerned about my barely-turned-six-year-old being unable to remember phonics sounds, but my gut just told me there was something different about the way her brain was working and I needed to figure out a way to help her so she would have success.

A friend of mine recommended Dianne Craft's materials and her book Brain Integration Therapy Manual.  We have implemented just a few of the techniques and I am now a believer!  In a nutshell, Craft explains that the left and right sides of the brain are separated by the Corpus Callosum which usually acts as a bridge to transfer information from the short term memory (left brain) to the long term memory (right), but sometimes this bridge instead acts as a wall.  When this happens, a child can only learn so much until her short term memory is filled up.  This is what happened with Kiana.  She learned a few sounds, but then seemed unable to remember anything else.  When I would show her a letter and tell her its sound, she would repeat it after me.  Then I would move on to review sounds she knew already, and when I came back to the "new" sound, she couldn't remember what it was.  She would tap her index finger against her temple, her face all scrunched up with effort, and say "I can't remember that one."

Craft describes four different learning gates that can be blocked when this happens.  Kiana's difficulty seems to be in auditory processing.  In addition to her struggles with phonics, she mispronounces many words (such as "emeny" for enemy and "aminal" for animal), and doesn't follow verbal instruction well.  I had thought she just wasn't paying attention, but it makes more sense now.  She is also amazing at playing Memory--which of course uses the right brain (pictures and colors) rather than the left brain (language)--she beats me every time and it's not because I'm letting her!

We have been spending about 5-10 minutes each day doing exercises to help cross that midline in her brain.  We are also using Craft's phonics flashcards which incorporate color, pictures, and humor with the phonics sounds superimposed on top of the picture because the right side of the brain stores color, pictures, and humor while the left side of the brain is the language base.  When combining all these elements into one unit, the entire brain is working together to store the information.  We have also implemented Craft's advice to hold the card up so that her eyes have to look up and to the left to "take a picture" and store the information in her right brain which she can then recall later.

As I texted to the friend who loaned me her manual, "I would never believe the change if I wasn't seeing it myself!"  This little lady is simply zooming along with reading now, full of grins and confidence.  I am so grateful we learned about Dianne Craft's work early so we won't have years of struggling before figuring out how she learns best.

Freezer Cooking 101

One of my friends recently asked me why our husbands and kids think they need to eat every single day.  I had to chuckle at the question, as it truly does seem like half my life is spent planning meals, finding new recipes,making grocery lists, shopping, cooking, cleaning up. . .

It makes my life considerably easier when I have meals prepared ahead in the freezer.  They are nice to heat up on a busy day, or to use when I missed a trip to the grocery store and the pantry is looking a little bare, or to share with someone who has suffered illness or had a baby.  I usually try to have at least two meals frozen for unexpected events, but it's even better when I've purposefully filled the freezer with several meals.  Recently some younger friends were asking me for tips about how to get together once a month and spend a day cooking.  I was pretty happy when they invited me to spend the day cooking with them--it was just the motivation I needed.

We decided to use the method in which we each take a turn choosing the meals and doing all the grocery shopping for one month.  Jenna got this job for the first month which means for the next three months, all she has to do is show up to mix together two of the recipes.

We chose to make eight different meals (which allows us to eat two freezer meals per week) and multiply that times the four families so we made 32 meals in about 3-4 hours.  Here are the eight meals Jenna chose for this month.  She also suggested we rate them as we eat them so we can decide if we want to make them again in the future.  Her scale is 1 (never want this again) through 5 (I would eat it again tomorrow).  We haven't tried all of them yet, but I'll try to update this post with the ratings over the next couple of weeks.

• Lasagna in a pot  My family wanted to give this a 6, but we'll settle for a 5.  Jenna didn't like the texture, so rated it a 3.  The others haven't tried it yet.
• Ravioli 4
• Teriyaki Chicken  3.5 (My family rated it a 3, but we also just aren't fans of teriyaki in general)
• Crock Pot Fajitas3 (we prefer them fried, lol)
• Million Dollar Casserole  5
• Easy Cheeseburger Casserole 3.5 
• Sloppy Joes   3 (a little sweet for us)
• Chicken Tacos 4.5 

We had fun chatting and chopping and I'm looking forward to another day spent cooking with them.  It's Jamie's turn to choose the menu and do the shopping next month!

Dorian Gray

Some books are so weird they stick with a person.  I think The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is  one of those kinds of books.

Its author claims "there is no such thing as a moral or immoral book.  Books are well written, or badly written.  That is all."  At the same time, his main character encounters first an immoral man, then a book which opens his mind to a hedonistic lifestyle and it's all downhill from there.

The plot of the book centers around the beautiful, innocent-looking Dorian Gray who was the subject of a painting in his youth.  "He had uttered a mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the portrait grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the face on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and loveliness of his then just conscious boyhood" (110).  Who could imagine that his wish would come true--that his visage would remain innocent, young, and beautiful while the portrait grew ever uglier to reflect the stains on his soul as he pursued the pleasures of sin for a season.

Yet through his hedonistic pursuits, he never found love, happiness or contentment.  "That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase with gratification.  The more he knew, the more he desired to know.  He had mad hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them" (151).  He corrupted women and he led his friends into destruction until "he wanted to be where no one would know who he was.  He wanted to escape from himself" (214).

The pleasures of sin for a season, indeed.  The story was hauntingly similar to the biblical book of Ecclesiastes in some senses.  Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.  "What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?"  Even Lord Henry, Dorian's cynical mentor in sin's vices, grew world-weary and tired of it all.

Which brings me to Lord Henry himself.  He idolized youth and beauty, cared about nothing but himself and his pleasure, and held himself mockingly aloof from those about him.  While he was quite the horrid influence, I sometimes could relate to his cynicism and by turn either pondered or got a kick out of his pithy sayings such as the following: 

"But I can't help detesting my relations.  I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves" (23).

"Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot:  that is all one can say" (45).

"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self.  Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others.  One's own life--that is the important thing.  As for the lives of one's neighbors, if one wishes to be a prig or a Puritan, one can flaunt one's moral views about them, but they are not one's concern" (97).

"Women are wonderfully practical, much more practical than we are.  In situations of that kind we often forget to say anything about marriage, and they always remind us" (95).  (I insert here an involuntary chuckle HA!)

"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them" (85).

"When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband.  When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife.  Women try their luck; men risk theirs."

"We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible. . .I have never searched for happiness.  Who wants happiness?  I have searched for pleasure" (224).

I must admit I host a cynic inside me as well and books like this waken her.  Combine the premise of this book with the book I am currently reading (The Atonement Child which tells of a young, innocent, sheltered christian girl being impregnated through rape) and I start questioning some of our parenting choices.  This world is ugly--just plain rotten--and someone, somewhere, sometime will delight in setting Pandora's box before my children and exposing them to temptations of hedonistic pleasures.  Someday they will experience heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment. . .Sometimes my cynical self wonders if it's even possible to adequately prepare or protect them so what's the point of even trying. Yet try to prepare them I must, ever pointing them to the Lord and Savior who stretched out His arms to claim our guilt and shame when we are drawn away of our own lusts and enticed.

An interesting and thought-provoking book indeed.  I find it interesting that it beautifully illustrates the vanity of a life spent in pursuit of selfish pleasure, even as I understand Oscar Wilde himself to have been an adherent of hedonism.  I'm quite glad I read it for Carrie's book club (even as I finished later than the deadline specified).

Reflections on "Enlightened" Parenting

This post is prompted by my reading of Wild Grows the Heather in Devon but I was afraid my review of the book would get way too long if I got on my soapbox about parenting styles. :)

Early in the story, little Amanda was indulged by her parents and by the end of the book she was a prodigal daughter, bringing her parents much heartache.

"Even at the young age of seven, Amanda was well accustomed to triumphs,.  Strong willed and precocious, she had walked and talked at an early age. . .Before much longer she was the acknowledged queen of the whole household.  Whether barking out orders like the little commander she was, slyly orchestrating events so they conformed to her liking, or simply charming others into complying with her wishes, she had become adept at getting her own way. 

Nor did either father or mother strenuously resist such tendencies.  Times had changed, and they were enlightened parents. . .The thought that indulging their daughter's willfulness might be detrimental to her never occurred to such modern thinkers.  For the most part, they admired her independent spirit. . .For the mother, all that mattered was that her daughter feel her accepting and unconditional love" (76).

I found it especially revealing that her parents were "enlightened parents. . .the thought that indulging their daughter's willfulness might be detrimental to her never occurred to such modern thinkers".  This story, you understand, was set in the early 1900s.  Now it's 2013 and I'm seeing this theme continued in sentiments like the following which I copied from a friend's post on facebook:

Do you want to know a little secret?  I love children--I mean seriously love children.  But children who are raised by "enlightened parents" get on my nerves in no time flat. You know the type--those children who radiate willful defiance. Such as a five year old who is writing on a white board and is told not to write on it right now, so "please give me the marker" who instead thrusts the marker behind his back while he tilts his chin and stubbornly initiates a staredown with the adult.  (The child won.  I couldn't tear my eyes away.  It's like a trainwreck happening right before your eyes!)  I know it's not necessarily that child's fault, for it's his parents' responsibility to train him, but I don't enjoy that child.

And if this continues I'm pretty sure he won't be an enjoyable adult to be around either.

It's a sad culture when sin is excused as just "being human" rather than something to be avoided--and the very reason our Savior died for us.  It's not about a "standard of perfection" but about training in the peaceable fruit of righteousness.  It's about training our children's character so they will be more receptive to the working of the Holy Spirit who is the source of joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control and other godly fruit.

"The positive fruit of the rigorous (intellectual) training early in their lives was as evident as the negative fruit brought about by the corresponding absence of disciplinary regulation. . .We realize now that we fed the sense within Amanda that she was the center of the world and need answer to no one.  We too readily gave her her own way.  There were few restrictions placed. . .We were loving parents, but we were not thorough parents" (239)

Parenting styles produce fruit, for certain.  "Enlightened," permissive, child-centered parenting produces rotten fruit while biblical parenting produces pleasing and appealing fruit.  I believe that God's grace, thankfully, is able to compensate for our mistakes, yet we also have a responsibility as parents to follow God's plan rather than being sucked into humanistic, secular reasoning.  Why not prepare our children, from the very beginning, for the concept that their lives are not their own--they are not to rule themselves but to submit to their loving Father's Will?  How much easier that will be for them if they first have been trained to obey their earthly parents!

Let's not give in to "enlightened" thinking, my friends.  Let's persevere, even if our friends or family or the "experts" disagree or don't understand.

"Amanda's character is more important than the traditions of society, more important than what people think of us, more important than what she thinks of us" (391).

Wild Grows the Heather in Devon

My local book discussion group spent the last month reading Wild Grows the Heather in Devon by Michael Phillips.  I would never have read it had Dian not chosen it.  I wonder if I would have finished it if I hadn't known we would be getting together to discuss it.  It's really just not a book I would typically read.  Having said that, it was rather interesting and contained some good talking points.

What I liked:
Phillips purposefully set out to examine how the embracing of christianity would affect the life of an intellectual, affluent couple in the early 1900s in England.  While intellectualism, evolution, universal reconciliation, socialism, and feminism were sweeping the world, what impact were they having on christianity?

Isn't that a fascinating premise?  In addition to the "hot topic" themes, there were other thoughtful nuggets tucked within the story.

Dying to Self:
One of the characters struggled with exchanging her independence for trusting in the Lord.  That's a struggle I could relate to; indeed, I think each of us need to grow in the area of submission.  I found it especially interesting that this character's mentor twice told her that "laying down the right to self-rule" is our very reason for being on this earth.  Ponder that one!

"There's nothing else that life's for than t' learn that one thing--how not to do what ye yerself want.  That's all this earth's for--t' teach us t' do what someone else wants" (212).
"It's not easy.  Laying down your independence and saying you're not going to rule your own life is the hardest thing in the world.  But then 'tis the only thing we're put on earth to learn.  And men have to learn it just as well as women.  'Tis the human way to salvation, as I see it--laying down the right to self-rule" (269).

Religion vs. Relationship
"When people are not dwelling in that vital center--the center of the Father's goodness--religion becomes a tedious affair. . .Many of them do not know that vital, pulsating foundation which is the mainstay of life--the center of the Father's goodness.  So they go about living a religion rather than a reality, more afraid of the Father than abiding in his love.  They fear hell to a greater extent than they are convinced of his power to give life" (246).

When reading the Bible ask the Lord "How does this apply to me?  Specifically.  What does it have to do with my daily life and my relationships with others?  What does it have to do with my attitudes, my outlook, my values, my priorities?  What does it have to do with how I conduct myself and how I think?  These are questions you have to ask.  Then you must say, 'Lord, what changes do you want to make in my life on the basis of this scriptural principle I am reading?  What growth do you have for me here?  What do you want me to do about it?" (262)

A father's loving plea to his wayward daughter:
"I implore you to hear me.  Please do not reject my words.  If at all possible, put away your youthful pride for a moment and listen to this exhortation.  It is simply this:  There is no greater measure of maturity and character than the capacity to listen to the counsel of others about oneself" (396).

Appropriate Stages:

(Catherine) "I like being fourteen too.  It's a little like being halfway between a girl and a woman.  I don't want my life to change any faster than it should.  I want to enjoy every age as much as I can" (422).

I really liked this quote even though it was a minor moment in the book.  Too often I see people (especially teenaged girls) chafe at their current season, anticipating the next season to such a point that they don't enjoy where they are or even learn the lessons the current moment has for them.  How I love it when young people live the attitude Catherine expressed above!  I think it's a great way of learning contentment and is much more mature than the child who thinks they are ready for the next season and proudly wishes away the time they are experiencing.

I think I'll save my thoughts on the book's example of parenting philosophy for another post.  This is one of those books that I don't really recommend--it's the first in a trilogy that I'm not planning to continue reading--but yet there were enough good little nuggets that I'm rather glad I read it anyway.  My primary complaint about the book is just that it was so slow, a fact the author warned the reader about in the introduction.  This is not an action-packed book, it is just the slow unfolding of ideas and belief in a family's life.  Another reader might thoroughly enjoy the series.

Little Mama

There's just something about little girls playing mama, isn't there?  They instinctively have that nurturing tendency even at a very young age.

 

I want you to notice the details in this picture.  From the baby snugly wrapped in the sling to the purse on her right shoulder to the diaper bag on her left wrist all the way down to mama's heeled shoes (because yes, I of course, always wear heels around the house--pearls too--just call me June Cleaver!)

Simply adorable.

For her birthday we bought her a doll who drinks water from a bottle and then proceeds to make messes like a real baby--from spitting up on her burp rag to wetting her diaper.  Kiana has named this doll Tosha and she takes her mama role very seriously.

She takes her baby to church with her and dutifully cuddles her and feeds her as she deems appropriate while listening quietly to the Bible study.  When she wants to go outside to play, she seriously comes to me, addresses me as Grandma (lovely!) and asks me to babysit, shows me where the diapers are, the change of clothing in the diaperbag, etc. as though I have no idea how to care for babies, er, um, dolls.

She pushes her baby around the house in the stroller my sister got her for her birthday, and when we go places she carefully straps her baby into its car seat.  Now, I will admit to being a bad influence as I have encouraged her to leave her baby in the car when we are running quick errands.  But it's just a doll, c'mon, we can't take forever to get a doll out of its carseat at every stop, now can we??

And yes, that's blue eye shadow on her eyes.  Eye shadow and heels--she has NOT learned these things from me, people!  I'll claim the loving care of children, but this little lady is determined to look good while doing it.

November Nightstand

Time  hasn't allowed for much reading or blogging lately.  In October I only read two books--can you believe that?  One was the Brain Integration Therapy Manual, the other was for my local book discussion group, Wild Grows the Heather in Devon.  I haven't gotten around to reviewing either of them yet, nor have I written reviews for several of the books I read in August or September.  'Tis the season, I guess.

But here's what's on my nightstand for the next few weeks, should I get around to them:

1. The Picture of Dorian Gray is the October selection for Carrie's bookclub at Reading to Know.  I've been curious about this book for several years, and still hope to get it read sometime in the next week.  I haven't even started it yet, nor do I have a copy.  But I still have a slim hope. . .
2. We are reading The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers for my local book discussion group.  Hurray!  I've read this one before and it's both easy and though-provoking.  We all decided we needed a good story and relatively quick read after the 400+-paged Wild Grows the Heather in Devon, especially considering how busy all of our lives are right now.
3. I started Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand yesterday, although I only got about 20 pages read.  I enjoyed Unbroken so much that I've long been wanting to read Seabiscuit and Destry said it is another winner.  Maybe I'll get a nice lazy Sunday afternoon to dig into it.
4. I received John Piper's "Filling Up the Afflictions of Christ" from Crossway to review.  It looks interesting and thankfully short.
5. If I have the time and inclination, I might read The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Daylight by Heidi St. John which has been sitting on my desk enticing me for the last several months.  But I'm not going to hold my breath and I suggest you not hold yours either.
6. Oh, I also just happened to notice Iris Johansen has published two books this year which I have not yet read--two Eve Duncan books at that!  What does it say about me that I'm pretty sure I'll make time to get these no-brainer, escapist novels finished? 

What are you hoping to read in the next month?

We Shouldn't Starve This Winter

We've been blessed with an abundance of food this harvest season.  These pictures were taken before butchering chickens or canning pears and before my last two batches of apple butter.

I've been blessed to be able to can carrots, green beans, applesauce, apple pie filling, apple butter, pears, chicken, and broth.  We've also been able to freeze homemade pizza sauce (made from our tomatoes and fresh basil), pesto, apple pie slices and peaches.

Frankly, I'm tired of canning and otherwise preserving.  It has made for a very busy start to our school year!

Snapping beans is a family affair!

 Yet I'm thankful to have all this yummy, homegrown food to feed my family.  Several of my friends have also preserved a great deal of food. 

 It makes me wonder if we might be in for a pretty severe winter.  If you get hungry, you know who to hit up for a good meal! :)