March Nightstand

Well, here it is the end of February, and I'm looking at my list of books I read last month, as well as planning what to read in March.  I only read one book from my February plan as well as only one from my 2015 Goal List.  I'm telling you, I think I have reading ADD!  There are so many books I would love to read, and I get distracted easily when I see a new one.

So, for what I read in February, I read two in preparation for the speakers on our marriage cruise:

• Still Growing  by Kirk Cameron
• Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman

I also read one book (yes, only one book!) while on the vacation.

• Petra: City of Stone by T.L. Higley

And during the last couple weeks of February, I made it through the selection for my local book discussion (but haven't yet written my review):

• I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai (the only book which was on both lists!)

In March I'm planning to read:

• The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer was my selection for Carrie's Classics Book Club.  I have wanted to read this one for a long time, but have never gotten around to it.  I'm hoping having some accountability will force me to dive into it, and I'm excited to see how I learn and grow through its reading.

• The Other Wes Moore:  One Name, Two Fates by Wes Moore.  My good friend, Misti, checked this as "want to read" on her Goodreads account and I was intrigued by its description.  I love a thought-provoking book which helps me better understand people and the choices they make.

• Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver was recommended by Misti.  I was thoroughly sucked in by Kingsolver's "Poisonwood Bible" (I could, in fact, read it again) so I'm looking forward to her storytelling again, even while I don't tend to agree with her worldview.

• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.  I'm supposed to start reading this one with Destry for literature this month.  We both have busy months ahead of us (he with music competitions and performances as well as a week at TeenPact and I with. . .well, life while reading Tozer!), so I don't anticipate either of us finishing it, but we both appreciate Dickens and are looking forward to this one.

• Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young.  Since I've owned this book for over a year (blush) and 1) still haven't read it but 2) they are coming to speak to our homeschool group this month and staying at our house. . .well, I think I should get it read!

Hopefully I do a better job fulfilling my reading goals this month than I did last month!

Heart of Darkness

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

What a weird book.

I read this one with my son for his literature class, (and it just happened to also be selected for Carrie's Classic Book Club) and I have to admit he enjoyed it more than I did.

In a nutshell, Conrad uses this mid-1800's-story of an adventure into the wilderness of the Congo to examine man's capacities for self-restraint.  In his pursuit of power and self-elevation, how far will a man go when the expectations of "civilized society" are absent?  Will he recognize self-deception as he ventures further and further into his heart of darkness to avoid the penetrating light of truth?

The narrator, Marlow, is relating his assignment to retrieve Kurtz, a larger-than-life individual well-known for his unparalleled ability to persuade and thus procure more ivory for the company than anyone else.  While Kurtz himself is not present in most of the story, his influence and the shadow of his worldview certainly is.

Conrad wrote Heart of Darkness during Nietzche's lifetime and his philosophical influence is evident with the will to power idea and nihilistic attitude.  It is a story without hope for it is a story based on a hopeless worldview.

Choosing to See

Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman

This book had been recommended to me by a couple of people, but it kept being relegated to the back burner until our plan to see the Chapmans on the Love Like You Mean It cruise, and then I determined I needed to read it.  I'm glad I did.

Such a heartbreaking story! I think it hit really close to home as our family dynamics are so similar.  I have a 17 yos (biologically) and 7yod and 4yos (through adoption) and he was simply horrified at the thought of accidentally running over his little brother while little sis looked on.  I can't imagine how this would affect our family.

But I think Mary Beth shares their story very well.  I really appreciated that she started "her story" long before the tragic accident so we got to know them--through depression, finding what would make their marriage tick, Steven's career, and their adoption journeys.  It helped to know them "before" as she shared the accident and how it affected their life.

I really appreciated her transparency. I think we all have a plan for our lives, as she did, and we want it to be as easy and as happy as it can possibly be.  "It wasn't like I wanted a life that was unreasonable or questionable.  My plans had to do with Christ-centered ministry, an easy marriage, a peaceful and orderly home, constructive growth rather than shattered dreams, protection rather than fires. . .all good things.  Still, God has turned my life, my expectations, and even some of my dreams completely upside down so many times" (26).  No one would sign up for her story.  But it seemed to me she lived it as well as anyone could, clinging to her Lord.

There were a couple of thoughts that stood out to me in her story.

#1:  I was impressed at the friendship and church community that enveloped them in love and service.  It was especially poignant the night Mary Beth couldn't sleep, she was overwhelmed with loneliness and panic, but her husband was sleeping.  She went and woke a friend and asked her to lay beside her and recite Scripture to calm her spirit so she could go to sleep.  What a friend!!

#2:  I was struck by her reflections on how differently she would have lived had she known her time with Maria would have been so short.  "I would have purposely hugged and kissed more.  I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles.  I would have colored more and worked less.  I would have laughed more and fussed less.  Bedtime wouldn't have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done.  Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed" (211).  (Convicting!! Especially since I loathe bedtime.)

#3:  I don't want to forget the analogy of being a "willing, broken vessel into which you've allowed God to pour Himself" (242).  Mary Beth said this of Steven, and that he had "set the example for the family on how to allow God to leak out of the broken places of their lives."  It is when we are broken that people can see Christ in us.

And this quote:  WOW

"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."  C.S. Lewis

Aryana's Adoption Finalized

It's always such a relief when an adoption is finalized, and this one has taken the longest so far.  Aryana is now ten months old, and we finalized her adoption last Thursday.  She is forever and always a part of our family (the poor kid! wink).

Briana had to work, but here is the rest of the family

Time slips away from me so fast, so it's been four months since I've featured Aryana in a blog post.  She is changing and growing every day.  She is a very verbal child.  She says up, more, "aaaa-key" (what I say when she puts something gross in her mouth), uh-oh, and "hi."  When she hugs a baby she says "ooooooh" (long o), and when she puts a phone to her ear she says "hello".  She makes monkey noises and dog noises on cue and pokes me in the eye proclaiming "eye, eye!"  She also loves to give people fives and wave bye bye at every opportunity.

Some pictures of Aryana at nine months taken by my sister

Aryana has two teeth now, and loves table food.  She has started sucking on dum dum suckers in the last week (which she loves) and when she wants a drink she gives a big dramatic sigh "aaaaawwww" which daddy taught her at the end of a drink.  She is on the go constantly, crawling at the speed of light, pulling up to everything, and cruising around things.  She is definitely a climber and has recently learned to not only climb up into a child-size rocking chair, but when the rocker is near another object, she continues climbing into a "big person" chair, onto the coffeetable, or onto the couch.  She has no fear and just smiles proudly.

She is busy, busy, busy and is getting into everything.  

Constantly.

All the time.  :)

Aryana has a stubborn streak and thinks she should have things her way, all the time.  It doesn't help that she has five older siblings who dote on her and say "that's ok mom, she can have it, I don't mind!"  Her current squeal/scream when she doesn't get what she wants is being worked on.

She loves to read books and play with cars.  I don't know if I've ever seen a 10-month-old girl crawl on her knees pushing a car while making car sounds--I guess it's evident that she has three older brothers!

What a blessing--and a joy--our little Aryana Joy is!

January Cooking for Six Families

Jenna chose our meals for our January cooking experience.  We made up a LOT of food!  Not all of us have submitted our ratings yet, but at least one family has eaten each food, so I'll include the ratings thus far.

• Sunday Stew 4.5
• Manicotti 4.5
• Zesty Chicken 4
• Chicken Parmesan 4

Ingredients
chicken breasts (however many you want/need) olive oil (just one dollop) minced garlic (a smattering…a little more than a smattering if you really like garlic) red pepper flakes (leave these out if you don’t like any heat) marinara sauce (probably won’t need more than one jar unless you are a marinara fiend) Parmesan cheese mozzarella cheese (you will need twice as much mozzarella as Parmesan) croutons (we used Italian-seasoned) Bake 40 min at 350 add croutons and cook for 10 more minutes

• Chicken Tortilla Soup 3 (spicy)

Chicken Tortilla Soup
1 lb shredded chicken (I use a rotisserie chicken from the store and de-bone it into the bag.) 1 15 oz. can fire-roasted tomatoes 1 10 oz. can enchilada sauce 1 medium onion, chopped 1 4 oz can chopped green chile peppers (I used half a can because 5-year-old lips would be eating it.) 2 Tbs. minced garlic 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp chili powder 1 tsp salt 1/4 tsp pepper 1 bay leaf 10 oz corn (frozen or canned) Put it all in the bag. Freeze it. Cook in the crockpot on low for 6-8 hours. Serve with cilantro & tortilla chips.

• Crockpot Pizza Soup 3
• Chicken Enchiladas--(substituted chicken for the beef) 4
• Mexican Delight 4

Brown 1 lb. hamburger with 1 onion.  Add 1 can tomato paste, 1 large can tomato sauce, 3 paste cans of water, 2T. sugar, 2 cloves of minced garlic, 1 t. accent, 1 t. salt, 1 t. chili powder, 1 t. cumin seed and simmer for 40 minutes.  Add 1/2 c regular rice and 1 1/2 c. water.  Bring to boil and simmer until rice is cooked.
Thaw, heat, and serve over Fritos and add toppings for taco salad.

Petra: City of Stone

Petra: City of Stone by T.L. Higley

Early Christians suffering persecution under the Roman empire--this theme always draws me in as I think it's good to consider what I would do if persecuted for my faith.

In this story, Cassia learns what love is and Julian learns what forgiveness and leadership are all about.  The book is not as good as Rivers's "Mark of the Lion" trilogy, but it was still very enjoyable.

I especially enjoyed the pictures of the believers meeting together.  I think too often in 2015 believers come together more out of a sense of duty, obligation, and (dare I say) legalism than out of a sense of love for one another.  Congregations get so big people don't even know one another, let alone love one another in the beautiful way pictured in this story.  As Cassia first encounters a group gathered together she observed that they were "not a family but certainly behaved as one" (91).  "The believers did what they did best--listened to each other's hearts, shared the struggle to remain true to the teachings, prayed over each other in love" (110).  I must admit I long for such a fellowship locally.

As persecution loomed before them, their elder addressed the believers:  "We must not forget who we are.  Even if there is harsh persecution to come.  Love each other well, and care for the hearts of your brothers and sisters.  Fight for each other, fight against evil. Perhaps we have been complacent here in our safety.  But we must not forget we are in the midst of a perverse culture, and we must stand firm yet remain loving.  Remember that it is by our love that they shall know we are His disciples.  Love one another and love them" --he extended his hand outward to the city--"pray for them and love them until they ask you why" (149).

I also liked some of the advice regarding leadership that the aged elder offered to young Julian.  As Julian was anxious and continually reviewing and relying on his plans, Malik counseled "Peace.  Lead from your heart, from your spirit and from His.  Not from your head" (187).  And later "This is part of leadership.  To learn that we do not control, we serve" (189).  There's a lot of wisdom in those words, and I think we err today in putting men in positions of church leadership just because of their secular success.  These men lead from their heads (humanism) rather than from the Spirit, and they tend to focus on control and micromanagement rather than serving their congregation.

This was a great book for a plane ride!

Lovin' Like We Mean It

Our marriage retreat cruise was simply the best week of my life!  This is going to be a very long post even though I am only summarizing the highlights so I can reflect and remember what a great time of refreshment and recharging it was for our marriage.

Our friends, Troy and Caren, are the ones who told us about the cruise and suggested a group of us go together.  We always have a great time with them, whether getting together as families in our homes, going out to eat as couples for good food and adult conversation, studying the Bible together, or working together to provide opportunities for our kiddos, so we knew we would have fun with them going on a cruise to enrich our marriages.  We rode to the airport together and flew to and from port together and had lots of laughs as well as serious, edifying conversation.

The ship seemed so huge!  I shut my brain off and didn't even try to remember how to get to the seminars, the various restaurants and buffets, and our room.  Alan took care of me and always knew exactly where we needed to go.

We are so richly blessed with great friends!  Here are the ten of us who cruised together (starting from back left center and going counter clockwise):  Leighton and Dian, Alan and me, Caren and Troy, John and Wendy, and Amy and Gerald. 

We actually all managed to meet up to listen to Kirk and Chelsea Cameron and Tenth Avenue North together Monday night

We didn't spend a lot of time together as we were each focused on our own partner, but we had a table together each evening for supper.  We all enjoyed coming together and sharing stories from our day and just great fellowship (over delicious and endless supplies of food!)

Caren and Troy, Leighton and Dian

Wendy and John, Gerald and Amy

Gerald and Amy, Me and Alan

On Tuesday we ported in Key West, FL.  Alan and I decided not to get an excursion, but just to explore the downtown area together.  We had so much fun strolling hand in hand, browsing in souvenir shops, and picking out little treasures for each of our children.

One of the highlights from this stop was our respite in Sloppy Joe's Bar, where Hemingway used to hang out (I had just finished reading The Old Man and the Sea with Destry before the cruise), where we got to try conch for the first time.

We were also delighted to run into our friends Troy and Caren and John and Wendy as we were headed back to the boat.  We have such fun together, and giggled as we posed with artwork.

Tuesday evening was dress up night.  Alan and I even matched with our greens!  I know it's a terrible picture, but it was a wonderful evening.

Wednesday morning started (as usual) with the amazing made-to-order omelets on the breakfast buffet.  We happened to run into Troy and Caren so we joined them for breakfast and decided to share an excursion in Cozumel, Mexico that afternoon.  Alan's choice of dune buggies, snorkeling, and a Mexican buffet on a private beach sounded like great fun to all of us and fun it was!

Welcome to Cozumel!

The men were delighted with our little dune buggy and they took turns driving on our tour around the island.  Caren and I got a huge kick out them turning into 16-year-old boys trying to do donuts in the sand, revving their engine, shifting gears dramatically. . .

This was so fun, so relaxing, so beautiful!

We got lots of practice taking selfies!  How I love this man! He and Troy had a great time enjoying God's creation as they snorkeled on the reefs while Caren and I relaxed with massages.  

When we got back to the ship at about 8:30 pm, Alan and I decided to take a little nap before going to the Andrew Peterson and Steven Curtis Chapman concerts and then karaoke afterwards.  We woke up at 12:03 am!  Whoops!  I wish we had taken an alarm clock (my phone was all messed up) so we wouldn't have missed these fun opportunities, but I guess we were tired!

Me with Wendy and Caren

Thursday morning was spent with the men and women divided into gender-specific sessions, and then in the afternoon we hung out on the top of the ship with dear friends relaxing, talking, and laughing. (oh, so much laughing!)

Our hubbies weren't so much into sitting and chatting, but spent
"shoulder-to-shoulder" time on the miniature golf course and playing ping pong

Friday morning Alan and I got up and went out on the deck to watch the sunrise together.  It was so beautiful!  I had never seen the sun rise over the ocean before and was just amazed at the way it literally "popped" up over the horizon.

Alas, the time went too fast and it was time to get back to real life and cold temperatures!  We ran into John and Wendy and Troy and Caren at our last breakfast and mourned together that "the buffet is closed."

 It truly was a buffet of not just food, but also of spiritual nourishment, marital renewal, and friendship feasting.

I have typed up nine pages of notes from the various speakers.  Here are a few of my favorite soundbytes:

• There's only one person I can change—MYSELF. It's not about getting a new spouse, it's about giving your spouse a new you. --Kirk Cameron
• JESUS is strong enough to save! YES, even your marriage!! --Tenth Avenue North
• PRAY for your husband! Not selfishly, but for him to be the man God wants him to be. --The War Room
• Remember who the enemy is. Instead of fighting with your husband, get on your knees and go to battle for your marriage.  --The War Room
• Before marriage Satan does everything in his power to make you have sex, after marriage he does everything in his power to prevent it.  --Dave and Ann Wilson
• Marriage is your primary ministry.  It's the foundation of all other ministry, and a tool to discern whether you are qualified for any other ministry.  --Voddie Baucham
• Cheer your husband on even more than you cheer your children on.  --Ann Wilson
• What would happen if we prayed in our head as much as we complain in our head?  --Ann Wilson
• Ask your husband "What are your top three things I can say to you that will make you feel respected?"  --Ann Wilson
• Your marriage is not taking place on a romantic balcony.  It's taking place on a spiritual battlefield.  --Dennis Rainey

We're thinking we need to do it again next year!

Still Growing

Still Growing: An Autobiography by Kirk Cameron

Since I am going to hear Kirk and Chelsea speak on our marriage enrichment cruise next week (insert squeal of excitement), I enjoyed reading this story of Kirk's life.  It wasn't an amazing book, and I wasn't left with any profound thoughts as a result of having read it, but I enjoyed it and it was a quick read.

I didn't have a television growing up, so I only saw a few episodes here and there of Growing Pains.  I don't think of Kirk Cameron as Mike Seaver, but rather as the cutie whose face decorated my bedroom wall back in the day along with Ralph Macchio, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, George Michael, John Stamos. . .(blush)  Confession:  I was boy crazy.

Anyway! It was fun to walk down memory lane as he referenced his parachute pants, high-tops, pegged jeans, and acid-washed jeans, but I'm just dating myself there.  I can't imagine what a narcissistic person he was as a result of all that fame as he shared "life was all about getting to the place where I could be happy all the time" (49).  His reflections just validate my lack of interest in my children having any sort of similar career.  His wife further explains "It wasn't that Kirk was intentionally selfish; he was just conditioned by a world that revolved around him.  Home life is far more challenging than being a star on the road, and it requires much more giving rather than getting.  It involves continually thinking of others before yourself.  The addition of each child in our house has caused us both to become more and more selfless" (179).

I appreciated his openness with his faith and his realization of the emptiness of his life as a young adult.  "What did I have left to look forward to?  More money?  More fame?  More admiration?  Was the rest of my life gonna be more of the same?" (127)  It was scary to read of his initial attitude of atheism as "it was what I had always been taught in school as a kid.  My science teacher didn't believe in God and anyone with half a brain was an atheist too" (128)

I was surprised at how much we have in common, as he and Chelsea have six children, two through birth and four through adoption, and have adopted transracially.  It makes me even more interested to hear them speak.  I think they also gained credibility to speak about marriage as they were transparent about their own marriage struggles (which are, of course, exacerbated by the very public nature of their lives).  Their conclusion, however, is "God is shepherding us and getting us through.  Every time we get to a new pasture, I think, I'm so glad we stuck that hard season out" (180).  Yep, me too. Me too.

I also really appreciated him sharing the story of his parents' marital problems and the way they were willing to make changes to work through them.  I think that's a wonderful example for all of us, as every marriage has its problems.  Having a strong marriage is work, but it's worth it.

Doing a New Thing

Interrupted: An Adventure in Relearning the Essentials of Faith by Jen Hatmaker

I finished this one more than two weeks ago and still am having trouble formulating my thoughts.  It's one that makes a person think, for sure!  It doesn't help that I read it right after reading The Prodigal God and in conjunction with watching A Path Appears (a documentary about sex trafficking).  I'm filled with this urge to DO something, but I don't know what TO do!

I don't agree 100% with Jen's thoughts, but there is still a lot worth pondering--and really, even pondering whether I agree with each idea and WHY (or why not) is worth the read.

She made me evaluate my tendency to be "immersed in my niche tribe" (which I tend to call "my people" and where I am most comfortable) and wonder if I'm "cut off from the fresh spiritual wind blowing all over the place" (xix) within the first few pages of the book.  I think it's tempting for all of us to settle in with people we know, doctrine that we take for granted as truth, and where we are comfortable.  And I think it's really, really good for us to be shaken up, to be challenged, so we'll examine our beliefs against Scripture.

At the same time, I am wary of doing a "new thing" just for the sake of doing a new thing (just as I am wary of doing something different just for the sake of being different).

Let me preface this with the admission that I love a "new thing" just as much as the next person (and likely more than some persons!).  I am a starter (and not such a great finisher).  I like to come up with new ideas and try new things, go new places and meet new people.  I like to consider new thoughts.  I'll confess I even get bored with doing the same old thing, being with the same old people, considering and discussing the same old thoughts.

So I get Jen and her excitement over doing this new thing.

But coming up with a "new" church?  Austin New Church?

She references several scriptures (Mt. 9:17, Mt. 13:52, Mark 1:27, Rom. 6:4, Rom. 7:6, Gal. 6:15, and Eph. 4:20-24) in support of their doing a new thing.  But the new thing of the scriptures was a change from the old law to the new law.  The first century, not the 21st.  As much as we all want to "do a new thing", it's time to do an old thing.  The New Testament lays out the pattern that Paul admonished us to follow way back in the first century, and I'm leery of statements that imply she has figured out some great new thing that no one else has come up with in the last 2000 years.

If you look up the above-referenced scriptures, you'll see that (taken in context) they are referencing a few different "new" things:

• The individual as a new creation, a new self, a new life.  
• The overall change from the old covenant (with the Israelites), or the old law, to a new covenant in Christ as the way for humans to be reconciled to God.
• The new teaching is one that came with authority.  Authority is key here.

I can't find anything in her referenced scriptures that give the needed authority for her passion for this new thing, this new church.  It might not be such a big deal, except she focuses on it so much and even names their church after the idea of doing a new thing.  It seems to me it would be better to examine the pattern set forth in the Bible of the church of the New Testament and see how we could more closely conform to that pattern when we are looking to be shaken up and draw closer to the Lord, rather than coming up with a new thing.

Coming up next:  Helping the Poor

Interrupted Series

I'm going to have to write a series as I process my thoughts about Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker.

As I considered how many stars I would give this book, I was torn.  I liked parts of it, I was inspired by parts of it, yet I had a general sense of disquiet about it.  My gut said to rate it with three stars, or maybe even just two.  Yet it's prompting lots of thought, which I would love to sit down and turn into lots of discussion, so wouldn't that be strange to give such a low rating to something that has prompted so much pondering?  I settled for three and a half stars.

So, I need to "chat out" my thoughts on this book.  And I'm going to try to carve out the time to do that here.  They may not make a lot of sense, but I need to process my thoughts and honestly, I need to figure out what my thoughts even are!

If you want to come along for the crazy ride as I figure out what I'm thinking, hop on!  And I do hope you'll engage in conversation with me and let me know what you think of what I think. :)