The Last Lecture

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

I enjoyed this book very much, lots of great tidbits to ponder as Pausch shared his last lecture knowing he had just months left to live. He was a visionary man who focused on his childhood dreams and how he had lived those dreams even in his relatively short life and used this venue to leave behind a piece of himself and some words of wisdom for his three children ages 5 and under. I borrowed this from the library, but am considering picking a copy up to give my son as he ventures off to college and into life on his own.

Some great quotes:

"The instinct in our house was never to sit around like slobs and wonder. We knew a better way: Open the encyclopedia. Open the dictionary. Open your mind" (22).

(It's a good thing to be criticized and corrected) "because when you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you" (37).

"Shatner was the ultimate example of a man who knew what he didn't know, was perfectly willing to admit it, and didn't want to leave until he understood. That's heroic to me" (45).

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something" (52).

"It's such a shame that people perceive you as being so arrogant, because it's going to limit what you're going to be able to accomplish in life" (68).

"The only way any of us can improve is if we develop a real ability to assess ourselves. If we can't accurately do that, how can we tell if we're getting better or worse?" (112).

"I know you're smart. But everyone here is smart. Smart isn't enough. The kind of people I want on my research team (or anywhere) are those who will help everyone else feel happy to be here" (118).

"When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do" (146).

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted" (148).

Mere Motherhood

Mere Motherhood: Morning times, nursery rhymes, and my journey toward sanctification by Cindy Rollins

I loved this book!

Oh, it wasn't amazing, I must admit. It's a memoir from Cindy's 30 years of homeschooling, not a how-to-homeschool book, so don't open it expecting that. And really, for a memoir, it's frustratingly vague. Yet I understand her desire to protect her children's identities and not "air the family's dirty laundry". It's not always a fascinating read, but it was like a warm conversation with a good friend--an encouraging breath of sweet fresh air. I've been homeschooling for 16 years, so that's long enough to read between the lines of the various trends (good and bad) in the homeschooling movement that Cindy lived through.

I wouldn't have gotten as much out of it even just five years ago. I daresay this is not the best book for a younger, newer homeschooling mama. She likely won't appreciate it as much. There are things we simply don't know that we don't know until we get there. But maybe reading it will help her connect the dots when the time comes. And I came away both encouraged and inspired.

I chuckled aloud several times as I read, especially as she gently poked fun at herself: "Each morning we sang a new hymn, verse by verse. . .I was a bit neurotic about learning all the verses. Now I know that is called self-righteousness" (46) and "Obviously we weren't in the the habit of buying horses; we just read books about horses" (50) and after having drugs the first time for her ninth and final delivery "I would never be an obnoxious mother-in-law bragging that I had ALL my babies naturally" (64). LOL I thoroughly enjoyed her voice.

I also loved the way she sprinkled Scripture throughout (in her own voice, no quotation marks) and her frequent but casual references to great stories like The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. She is definitely a book-lover.

In a nutshell, Cindy's book shares three main ideas (among other smaller ones) she has learned in her homeschooling journey: 1) It's easy to let our relationships with our children become idols in our hearts. 2) Be careful not to take too much credit or too much blame for the successes and failures of your children. 3) Motherhood is a tool for our sanctification.

She shares things that worked, and things that didn't. She warns those of us in the trenches not to make mistakes she made. She transparently shares the joys and struggles of various seasons, including her current season during which she has moved and no one knows the "former her" who homeschooled nine children but now see her with only her last child almost ready to leave the nest. (wouldn't that be so weird?!)

There were so many great nuggets sprinkled throughout. I could definitely chat this one out side-by-side in a couple of red chairs! I'll try to limit myself to just a few quotes:

"Motherhood is sanctification. Perhaps way more sanctification than you ever bargained for. . .There is no trite way to explain the heart-wrenching joys and sorrows you have seen. There is no way to warn the mommy next door or your daughter-in-law. It is a walk of joy that often includes the tearing off of the old dragon skin one painful layer at a time, made all the worse because you didn't even know you were wearing dragon skin. No one ever does" (ix). 

"my lifelong pattern of hanging out with people who are smarter than me" (89). (I try to do this too!!) 

"I suppose that I should have raked in a lot of wisdom and knowledge, and yet, the further up and further in I go the less sure I am about what I know. I know a lot less today than I did thirty-five years ago. . .After all these years, I don't know as much as I thought I did, but I hope that makes what I do know more valuable" (135). 

(about reading aloud) "When we cannot escape ourselves, we can escape to other worlds together"(139). 

"It seemed that I had worked passionately for nineteen years on a beautiful product and, in the end, he had become something entirely different than I intended. I did not recognize him at all. How could I go on creating beautiful pottery pieces if they weren't going to turn out as I had intended or hoped? Until one day I had an epiphany. I was not the potter. A potter was shaping my children, but it was not me. . .My son was not my product. He was the work of a great artist: the Creator of all" (156). 

"Part of the sanctification of motherhood is learning to trust God with our children. . .Our children must not become 'Our Precious'" (161).

AND MY FAVORITE QUOTE OF THE BOOK:
"Josef Pieper tells us that leisure is the basis of culture. Most moms would laugh at the idea of leisure, but that is essentially the gift homeschooling gave us--the leisure to learn" (163).

Books on Planes

Interestingly, I ran the emotional gamut with my recent choices for "easy, light reads for an airplane ride."  Both laughter and tears. . .the other travelers must have thought I was crazy!

  Night Road by Kristin Hannah

I picked this one up at a thrift store for a cheap, easy airplane book because I didn't want to have to think. Well, I didn't really want to cry either, but cry I did! (I feel for the people around me as I soaked 3 (THREE!) tissues with my tears on that flight.)

Night Road is actually quite well done and paints an incredible picture of grief. When a teenager is killed in a drunk driving accident, each of the people who loved her mourned in their unique way, whether by drowning in guilt, punishing self, determining to move forward, or shutting down all emotions in order to survive. It's been a week since I finished it, and I still find myself pondering the different reactions.

Mentalpause: ...and Other Midlife Laughs by Laura Jensen Walker

This was just a light little read I had on my kindle and decided to read while on an airplane. I have a couple of friends who are starting to experience some menopausal symptoms, and most of my friends have passed that 40 milestone, so it made me chuckle to hear some of my friends' voices in the author's words. While the book isn't incredibly well-done, and is mostly silly, it still contained a few good nuggets I enjoyed.

"We have to savor every moment and make it last. Yesterday is gone. We have little control over tomorrow. All we have is today! It's up to us not to waste it. And in my opinion, a hearty laugh is proof that we haven't wasted the day."

"Some of us can get pretty hung up on our bodies--thinking flat stomachs, slender legs, and unlined faces define us. . .I'm not my breasts. Or my thighs. Or my gray hairs. Or my crow's feet. Or even my upper arms. What I am is a child of God."

"The best mirror is an old friend." --George Herbert (LOVE that one!)

"After a certain number of years, our faces become our biographies." --Cynthia Ozick

Friendships Don't Just Happen

Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends by Shasta Nelson

I very much enjoyed this book.

Having said that, I must insert a disclaimer here that I don't agree with EVERYTHING in this book, and I'm quite certain I don't agree with all the author's life choices or beliefs. While she professes christianity of some sort, she appears to be a religious pluralist and I am not. I could write a couple paragraphs detailing this disclaimer, but overall I really did get a lot out of the book so I'll leave it to the discerning reader to read carefully on her own if she so chooses.

If you can sort the wheat from the chaff, however, there is lots of very interesting information in this book. My main takeaway was that wherever people fall in your circles of friends, *that's okay*. We need people in all different circles or levels and it's okay if you don't "click" with everyone or have a consistent and vulnerable relationship with every person that you like.

As an analytical person, I especially enjoyed evaluating my friendships, placing my friends in their respective circles, and observing where my circles are strong and where they are lacking. This exercise also helped me to identify some of my own strengths and weaknesses in my friendships and challenged me to be a better and more intentional friend.

I also think this book will appeal to people differently based on their perceived need. One of my friends who read this book with me felt like the author was pushing people to make more friends as she frequently suggested ways a person COULD meet new people and make more friends. I didn't sense the author was saying people *must* have lots of friends, but just that she was offering suggestions for people who feel that need.

I thought the author's writing style was quite engaging and found this an easy read, even as it was packed with lots of thought-provoking information. This is definitely one to read and discuss with a friend--RED CHAIR WORTHY! :)

A Couple of Easy Fiction Books

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

I really enjoyed this book. Ove is a very interesting character, (curmudgeon is an excellent description for him) and he made me think of some people I know with his matter-of-fact gruffness, his lack of tact, his hard work ethic, and the way he serves behind the scenes without making a big deal of it. I smiled a lot reading this book--it had that sort of dry wit that makes me think of British authors, although its author is Swedish.

There were a couple of themes introduced toward the end of the book that I didn't appreciate, although it didn't go into detail But overall, I really enjoyed it. The author has a nice way with words, and it's a "feel-good" story demonstrating the importance of connecting with others.

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

I really enjoyed this quick little read. It's a "coming of age story", a teen romance, a story of overcoming a horrible family life, racism, and poverty.

It was well-written, heart-breaking, and sweet, all at the same time.

--"He's a bad person. Just. . .trust me. He's the kind of bad that tries to kill anything good."
--"'Why doesn't she leave?' She shook her head. 'I don't think she can. . .I don't think there's enough of her left."
--Eleanor looked over at Ben, sitting in the closet. He stared at her without giving up a thing. Thanks to Richie, they were all experts in the blank-face department."
--"If Eleanor were the hero of some book, like The Boxcar Children or something, she'd try. If she were Dicey Tillerman, she'd find a way. She'd be brave and noble, and she'd find a way. But she wasn't. Eleanor wasn't any of those things. She was just trying to get through the night."

"Holding Eleanor's hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive."

"Eleanor wasn't. . .nice. She was good. She was honorable. She was honest. She would definitely help an old lady across the street. But nobody--not even the old lady--would ever say, Have you met that Eleanor Douglas? What a nice girl."

"What if Park realized that all the things he thought were so mysterious and intriguing about her were actually just. . .bleak?"

"When Eleanor smiled, something broke inside him. Something always did."

"Park loved how much they loved each other. It was the thing he thought about when he woke up scared in the middle of the night. Not that they loved him--they were his parents, they had to love him. That they loved each other. They didn't have to do that."

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty  Smith

In a nutshell, this book was about strength of character and overcoming adversity. I think it was the strength of the characterization that carries the book. By the time I was finished, I felt like I knew Francie and Neeley, Johnny and Katie, Sissy and Evy. . .

There are so many things I could chat about in this book. I appreciated the perseverance, particularly of the women, which made me examine the male characters. Why were the Rommely women "slender, frail creatures with wondering eyes and soft fluttery voices. . .but made out of thin invisible steel" (69) while their men were visionary dreamers who resorted to drink and even running away? "Katie exchanged her tenderness for capability. She gave up her dreams and took over hard realities in their place. Katie had a fierce desire for survival which made her a fighter. Johnny had a hankering after immortality which made him a useless dreamer" (97).

I loved the imagery of the tree which "struggled to reach the sky. . .liked poor people(6). . .gets no sun, and water only when it rains, growing out of a sour earth. . is strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong" (95) as it illustrated the life of the Rommely family. It was so interesting that Francie and Neeley looked at the "mighty easy life" their little sister was going to have, observing that she would never have the hard times or the fun they had, and then pityingly concluded "Poor Laurie" (472). I have to ponder the way some people thrive and grow strong in adversity while others wither away.

The theme of poverty of course ran throughout the book with the escape route of education running right alongside it. I adored Francie's love for reading: "But Francie was a reader. She read everything she could find: trash, classics, time tables and the grocer's price list" (22). I think I would have liked her. :) I chuckled at her willingness to read beloved books over and over again, and her determination to buy all the books she wanted when she grew up. I admired the family's quest for education, although I disagreed with them that schooling=education, or is the only way to become educated. Yet isn't it true how education can open our eyes--it "showed her that there were other worlds beside the world she had been born into and that these other worlds were not unattainable" (176). I can't imagine the level of poverty that they lived, the starvation, the scrambling just to survive. I can't imagine, as a mother, accepting my children's paychecks from their work when what I desperately wanted was for them to be in school. I can't imagine the humiliation of listening to how wonderful a little girl was who gave up one of her many dolls to "a poor girl" with her own name. "Why can't they just give the doll away without saying I am poor and she is rich? Why couldn't they just give it away with all the talking about it?" (213).

Yet even in all the themes of poverty, there is a spirit of resilience and hope that I don't hear as much today. In the book, there is no allusion to systemic poverty or systemic racism and all the other. . .excuses?. . .we hear today. The only time I caught a whiff of it was in Francie's reflection "This could be a whole life. You work eight hours a day covering wires to earn money to buy food and to pay for a place to sleep so that you can keep living just to come to this. . .These people are caught because they haven't got enough education" (364).

I have to admit I was also intrigued by the portrayal of love and of its resulting intimacy throughout the book. From Sissy's "healthy hunger" to a neighbor's desperation to "rigidly enduring the brutal act" (232) after years of marriage and children. . .I wonder where the author was going with these contrasts.

There were so many other thoughts worthy of discussion in this book, but I'll end with another theme I appreciated in the book--that of *living* and living well. "Let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry. . .have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere-be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute" (421).

Love and Respect

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

Alan picked this book up off the shelf last month and started reading it. Honestly, I was a little annoyed. I had purchased it nearly ten years ago and we read the first two chapters together, but we hit a bump and never finished it (cough, the bump's name was Alan, cough).

But he was really enjoying it this time and kept wanting to talk about it, so I decided to go ahead and read it too.

There's a lot of good stuff in there. I don't love the book, but when I say that, I have to ask myself why. And the two reasons I come up with are 1) he takes about 300 pages to say what he could have said in 200--or even fewer--and that annoyed me, and 2) he makes me feel defensive. There you go, how's that for keeping it real? I am not good at respecting and I don't really like being told so. But if the shoe fits. . .

The truth is, he had a lot of good points. And you know what? I am benefiting from my husband having read this book--big time. I know he loves me, but he's not always great at expressing it. Rather like I do respect him, but I'm not always good at expressing it--or respecting him unconditionally. He is being intentional in applying what he learned from reading this book. As I read behind him, I got teary-eyed more than once as I recognized some change in him having been suggested in the book. So I'm working on showing unconditional respect better and I'm recommending that if you are looking for a book to read with the one you love, you might want to pick this one up.

Out of a Far Country

Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son's Journey to God. A Broken Mother's Search for Hope. by Christopher Yuan

This was a relatively quick read as it's written in a conversational tone, but some of the subject matter made it a rather tough read. I am glad they shared their stories, both his of falling into the depths of depravity (homosexual promiscuous lifestyle, drug use, partying, drug dealing) which resulted in contracting the HIV virus and prison, and his mother's journey of despair over her son's choices to the point of considering suicide, and then coming to a faith in the Lord and dedicating herself to loving and praying for her son and trying to share her faith with him. I guess as a mother my heart related to her heartbreak as she had to watch him make horrible choice after horrible choice while she stood by helpless to control the situation. At the same time, I was thankful for his honesty in sharing where his head was during that time, even if I didn't always understand it.

I appreciated his mother's comparison between her own sin and Christopher's:
"God really had brought me a long way in just a few years. In the past, I would have been full of shame that my son was in such trouble with the school. But since coming to Christ and realizing my own brokenness and need for forgiveness, I knew that Christopher's rebellion was really no different than my own sins. It was just that Christopher's were more obvious. We're all sinners, and knowing that helped me stop worrying about what other people thought" (72).

And I thought Christopher's realizations about homosexuality being an idol that he elevated above Jesus as he came to a faith in Christ:
"After that, I turned to the Bible alone and went through every verse, every chapter, every page of Scripture looking for biblical justification for homosexuality. I couldn't find any. I was at a turning point, and a decision had to be made. Either abandon God to live as a homosexual--by allowing my feelings and sexual passions to dictate who I was. Or abandon homosexuality--by liberating myself from my feelings--and live as a follower of Jesus Christ" (186).

My One Word, Part One

My One Word: Change Your Life With Just One Word by Mike Ashcraft

I've heard of the idea of choosing a word for the year instead of making New Year's resolutions, and when I saw a blog post that recommended this book, I decided to get and read it as 2015 ended and 2016 began.

The author says "We're so busy with the surface-level things of life that we forget to number our days and tend to our hearts." In an effort to live intentionally, he chooses a word for each year that he focuses on and tries to seek the Lord about how he can grow in that area. "Each year, that's my goal for my one word. I want to train my eyes to look at my world--all of it--through the lens of my one word. I need to lean to see differently, if I am going to live differently."

To sum up the process he outlines in his book, which I tried to follow, I first spent a few days brainstorming words in areas I thought I needed to grow in. I did the exercise of listing words to describe WHO and HOW I want to be. I prayed about the words, looked up exact definitions for several of them, and looked in a concordance and my Bible reading verses that addressed several of those words. Then I narrowed my list down to three words and journaled about them in my Bible journal, writing the definitions, how they would apply to my life, and copying several Bible verses that relate to them. Finally, I settled on my "ONE WORD" for 2016. It's not the one I thought I would choose as I started the exercise, but it's the one that's resonating with me. (In case you're wondering, my word is "savor".)

Continuing through the process he outlines in his book, I still need to find ways to post this word around me to remind me to think about it and be on the lookout for ways I can learn and grow in this area. He also strongly encourages people to journal throughout the year about what the Lord is teaching them in relation to their word and how they are growing. "It is grievous to have a fresh insight from God, neglect to write it down, lose it forever, only to recall that it is good." "I am convinced that our struggle to see God at work in our lives is not a result of his lack of work, but rather of our lack of attention to it."

I like many of the ideas in this book, and I like the way he ends each chapter with questions for reflection and assignments. I also like the way he shares stories and examples of words other people have chosen and how it helped shape their perspectives of the experiences they had in that year. On the other hand, I must admit I got tired of reading the book and I got tired of the author's voice, but I do think I got some good ideas from reading it and I look forward to seeing how this exercise affects my year.

Orphan Train

Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline

I thought this book was well-done as it alternated between the voice of a child's experience on the Orphan Trains of the early 1900s and her present-day encounter with a young lady in the foster system.

It really pulled on my heartstrings, I have to admit, both as I read about Molly's present-day life (over a dozen foster homes in nine years) and Vivian's life with "all those children sent on trains to the Midwest--collected off the streets of New York like refuse, garbage on a barge, to be sent as far away as possible, out of sight." Both of them experiencing "a pitiful kind of childhood, to know that no one loves you or is taking care of you, to always be on the outside looking in."

As an adoptive mother, several themes stood out to me:

--The fear of rejection I read that many adoptees carry throughout their lives: "I never lose the fear that any day Mr. Sorenson could be on the doorstep, telling me that the Nielsens have decided I'm too expensive, too much trouble, or merely a disappointment, and they've decided to let me go. In my nightmares I am alone on a train, headed into the wilderness. Or in a maze of hay bales. Or walking the streets of a big city, gazing at lights in every window, seeing the families inside, none of them mine."

--The tendency to block off your heart as a self-protective mechanism. "If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Molly learned long ago that a lot of the heartbreak and betrayal that other people fear their entire lives, she has already faced. Father dead. Mother off the deep end. Shuttled around and rejected time and time again. And still she breathes and sleeps and grows taller. She wakes up every morning and puts on clothes. So when she says it's okay, what she means is that she knows she can survive just about anything." "I learned long ago that loss is not only probable but inevitable. I know what it means to lose everything, to let go of one life and find another. And now I feel, with a strange, deep certainty, that it must be my lot in life to be taught that lesson over and over again. . .I can't go through this again. I can't give myself to someone so completely only to lose them. I don't want, ever again, to experience the loss of someone I love beyond reason."

--The changing of names. . .and identity with that name. From Niamh, to Dorothy, to Vivian. From Hans to Dutchy, to Luke.

--I was also intrigued at the sense of acceptance and choosing to focus on the good that permeated the story, especially contrasted with some of what I read from modern-day adoptees. "This bad thing happened, and this--and I found myself on a train--and this bad thing happened, and this--but I grew up to become a respectable, law-abiding citizen; I fell in love, I had children and grandchildren; in short, I've had a happy life, a life that could only have been possible because I was orphaned or abandoned and sent to Kansas or Minnesota or Oklahoma on a train. I wouldn't trade it for the world." I wonder what the difference/cause is for this change in perspective. . .

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald


I hadn't read this book since I was in high school and took my review of it to the state public speaking competition! I have to admit I didn't remember it very well, so I decided to read it again in preparation to discuss it with my son.

My overwhelming response to the story is a sigh for the vanity, the absolute emptiness, it portrays. The pursuit of wealth, prestige, stuff, "the pleasures of sin for a season" were in full swing in the roaring 20s, they were present in Solomon's time, and we still see such vanity, vanity, all is vanity around us today.

So what is the end result of endless partying, keeping up with the Joneses, materialism, sexual immorality, mocking others to elevate self. . .living for self, youth, and pleasure? Well, Fitzgerald paints the picture well. The result of such a life is cynicism, lack of character, disillusionment, discontentment, loneliness. Ultimately, it's death. Presented here in this book as physical death, we know that ultimately it results in spiritual death.

Fitzgerald's turns of phrase are so clever, his imagery, correlations between the mood of the book and weather, and the geographical connections to character. . .it's a very well-written book. Even if I don't necessarily agree with his worldview, people just don't write so carefully anymore.

I'm looking forward to discussing this with Destry, and I think I may have to watch the recent movie that was made about this book.

All the Light We Cannot See

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Two teenagers during World War II, one a girl in France, one an orphaned boy in Germany. This book tells their stories as Hitler rises and falls from power.

I must admit I did not like the way the book jumped back and forth, not just between the two main characters, but also between years. That is one disadvantage to reading a book like this on the Kindle, I think, as it's more difficult to flip back and remember which year this chapter is in when you've had to set it down and pick it back up. It also just broke the book up for me making it choppy and difficult to engage in.

Having said that, there was a lot to like about it. The historical aspect of the novel was well done. The growth of the characters and the effects the war had on them was also well done. I especially enjoyed all the unique characters he gave us: a mechanical genius, a brilliant bird-loving scientist with quiet courage, a blind, brave and practical girl, a damaged-by-war veteran, an insightful young girl who sees what's coming, a gentle, music-loving giant forced into killing. . .

This book hit me in a tender spot as my 18-year-old son is seriously considering joining the armed services. I think he doesn't realize the effects war has on a person. So as I read, I highlighted several poignant passages:

"You will strip away your weakness, your cowardice, your hesitation. You will become like a waterfall, a volley of bullets--you will all surge in the same direction at the same pace toward the same cause. You will forgo comforts; you will live by duty alone. You will eat country and breathe nation" (137). . ."They are each a mound of clay, and the potter that is the portly, shiny-faced commandment is throwing 400 identical pots" (139).
"Something in Werner's soul shuts its scaly eyes" (246).
"He has the sensation that something huge and empty is about to devour them all" (251).
"as if they ward off a vast and inevitable tidal wave of anguish only by staying forever drunk on rigor and exercise and gleaming boot leather" (262).
"Werner is beginning to see, approaching his sixteenth birthday, that what the fuhrer really requires is boys. Great rows of them walking to the conveyor belt to climb on" (277).
"Other times the eyes of men who are about to die haunt him, and he kills them all over again. Dead man in Lodz. Dead man in Lublin. Dead man in Radom. Dead man in Cracow" (498).

I enjoyed his use of language throughout the book and the many themes he explored: death, growing up, courage, conformity, friendship, loss, learning and appreciation of nature. . .

It was also interesting to find Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" woven throughout the book as one of the main characters reads it throughout the story. I read that classic for the first time just last year so it was interesting to revisit it through her eyes.

Since I borrowed the book on my Kindle, here are a few other quotes I highlighted that I might like to revisit at some point:

"across the room is a miniature girl, skinny, quick-witted, an open book in her lap; inside her chest pulses something huge, something full of longing, something unafraid" (46).

"They lie on their stomachs and page through comics, feeling the pleasure of being outside of school, glancing at each other now and then as if curious to learn whether their friendship will continue to exist in another place" (220).

"Everyone trapped in their roles: orphans, cadets, Frederick, Volkheimer, the old Jewess who lives upstairs. Even Jutta" (229).

"She thinks of the whelks in Hubert Bazin's kennel, ten thousand of them; how they cling; how they draw themselves up into the spirals of their shells; how, when they're tucked into that grotto, the gulls cannot come in to carry them up into the sky and drop them on the rocks to break them" (446).

"When I lost my sight, Werner, people said I was brave. When my father left, people said I was brave. But it is not bravery; I have no choice. I wake up and live my life. Don't you do the same?" (469).

Love Anthony

Love Anthony by Lisa Genova

So it turns out I LOVE reading Lisa Genova's books. I love the way she writes about neuroscience (our brains are so fascinating!) and I love her characterization. She knows people, she delves into the characters, what they think, how they are motivated, what makes them unique, and she examines the connections people have with one another.

Love Anthony focuses on two women, Beth (whose marriage is hit by a meteor) and Olivia (who has a son with autism). In a nutshell, the book is about learning to love (because, obviously, it is a lesson I need to be learning).

It's a little scary to me sometimes, reading about women who are going through crises, especially when those crises revolve around self-identity, mid-life questionings, and marital problems. According to my research, Genova herself is divorced, which I think affects her perception in some ways. Divorce is just not as big of a deal--not as scary--to her as it is to me. Yet for the most part, I appreciate the reflections the women go through in the story as I think they are thoughts we can all relate to at one time or another:

"Be yourself. But who is she? She's Jimmy's wife, and she's a mother. And if she gets divorced, if she's no longer Mrs. James Ellis, and she's only a mother, then is there less of her? She fears this and feels it already, physically, as if a surgeon has taken a scalpel to her abdomen and removed a whole and necessary part of her. Without Jimmy, she doesn't recognize herself. How can that be? Who has she become?" (65)
"She used to find inspiration in her everyday life here, and she used to write about it. When did she stop writing? When did her life become uninspiring?. . .She can't believe she stuffed so much of herself into a box, banished to the attic for so many years" (71).
"His once beautiful teeth. Her once beautiful skin. His annoying habits. She has them, too. She knows her nagging drives him crazy. This is what happens when people get older, when they're married for fourteen years" (7). . ."She remembers those days early on, when they were dating and first married, when he touched her, even in passing, and she felt it. Really felt it. That magnetic, electric heat of his hand on her. That invisible, magical, chemical connection. Where did that go?" (63)

The marriage counselor's assignment which I found interesting and enjoyed discussing with my husband:

"Here's your homework. I want you each to get out four pieces of paper, one for wanted, one for happy, one for secure, and one for loved, and I want you to write down specific actions and words that you need to see and hear in order to feel each of these things. Come up with as many as you can. Don't hold anything back" (196)

And the best quote of all, the book in a nutshell, a quote I have been pondering and using to examine myself the last few days:

"I was here to teach you about love. Most people love with guarded heart, only if certain things happen or don't happen, only to a point. If the person we love hurts us, betrays us, abandons us, disappoints us, if the person becomes hard to love, we often stop loving. We protect our delicate hearts. We close off, retreat, withhold, disconnect, and withdraw. We might even hate" (302).

What do you think?  Are you inclined to this self-protective version of love?

For the Love

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker

I'm always left with mixed feelings after I read one of Jen Hatmaker's books. On the one hand, I enjoy her conversational tone, her personality between the lines of the pages makes me want a personal chat with her, and she sometimes says things that resonate with me and/or challenge me. On the other hand, I get bored with her fluffy chatter and start skimming, just wanting to get the book finished, and sometimes I flat out disagree with what she's saying.

In this book, I liked her chapter on being who we are and using the gifts we have. I liked her chapter on marriage, and I really liked her chapter about raising kids 'on Jesus'.

I was almost inspired to start a Supper Club by her chapter of this title (but the thought of the effort just made me too tired in this season), and the subsequent chapter had me vigorously nodding my head at the need for real community and front-porch fellowship. The chapter on Difficult People had me loaning the book to a friend before I had even finished it myself.

Once I got the book back, I appreciated some of the points in her chapter titled "Dear Church":

"The early church involved small, organic communities who gathered around tables, lived simple lives on mission, and loved God and neighbor. That was kind of it. The first believers assembled for renewal and teaching and dinner and togetherness. It was so basic and lovely. Everyone pulled weight, pitched in, pressed into God" (171).

"We don't carelessly place our families under spiritual authority. My checkpoints, in order: 1. humility, 2. transparency, 3. integrity" (172).

My favorite quote of the whole book was the following:

"I pray for your kindness more than your success, because the latter without the former is a tragedy. God measures our entire existence by only two things: how we love Him and how we love people" (71).

Created and Called

Created and Called: A Journey to and Through Nursing by Chelsia Harris

I read this book because we got it for Briana upon her completion of her advanced certified nurse's aide training and I can't resist reading a book! She is thoroughly enjoying it, and I can understand why. The author focuses on how she lives out her faith in Jesus Christ through serving others through nursing. She shares various fields of nursing, different levels of education in nursing, and other practical matters, but the bulk of the book focuses on the character traits needed to be a good nurse: compassion, humility, integrity, organization, patience, perseverance. I can see that it would be a very good book to read for anyone considering the field of nursing and it would also be encouraging for an active nurse.

A few quotes:

"A nurse is a helper, a servant, a leader, an advocate, an educator, a comforter, an encourager, a prayer warrior, and a team player" (15).

"I thought to myself, 'This is someone's daughter. Someone's mother. Someone's sister. Someone's wife. She was created by God in His image'" (35).

"The patients entrusted to our care are in some of the most fragile and vulnerable states that they will ever experience. They allow us intimate views of their hearts if we will simply create a sacred place for them to do so. It is our obligation to provide patients with professional, ethically sound care. It is our honor and privilege, and should be our desire, to regard them as highly valuable and to tenderly and compassionately love them through it all" (39).

Dear Adoptive Parents

Dear Adoptive Parents, Things you need to know right now from an adoptee by Madeleine Melcher

This quick book, while not particularly deep or profound, was a breath of fresh air. Too often in the adoption world, everything is negative and I can come away feeling like I've made a huge mistake adopting four of my children--that I've messed them up for life by their very status as adoptees.

This adult adoptee (and adoptive mother), however, shares her story along with encouragement for families formed by adoption. She says the most important voice to listen to is the voice of your child, not the voices of negativity and fear, and that life should not be about adoption. There might be side effects of being adopted, of course, and parents should be watching for struggles, but not all children will suffer from feelings of rejection, abandonment, identity crisis, primal wounds, etc. as a result of being adopted and there is no point in "borrowing trouble" by talking about such things all the time.

This book validated many of my own perspectives so it was nice to read and I'll tuck it away on the shelf in case "the voices" get too loud at some point and I need a perspective adjustment.

Station Eleven

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

I thought this book had a good idea, but it just never fulfilled its promise for me. The characterization was one-dimensional, no one really grew through the story, and some of the characters felt interchangeable for me rather than having their own unique identity.

I did enjoy pondering what it would be like if civilization as we know it would collapse, if 99% of the population died from a strange and sudden flu. Indeed, we would look back at "that ludicrously easy world where food was on shelves in supermarkets and travel was as easy as taking a seat in a gasoline-powered machine and water came out of taps" (48). I must admit, I have a rather hard time imagining that 20 years later, our society would be as far set back as the book depicts. There are so many smart and resourceful people (like my husband), I would think we would be farther along than survival mode.

It was interesting to consider a recurring theme of people not living their lives while they had the chance, just "spending their lives waiting for their lives to begin" (86) or "these people who've ended up in one life instead of another and they are just so disappointed. . .They've done what's expected of them. They want to do something different but it's impossible now, there's a mortgage, kids, whatever, they're trapped" (163).

I could also relate to Miranda's reflections on her younger self: "Those previous versions of herself were so distant now that remembering them was almost like remembering other people, acquaintances, young women whom she'd known a long time ago, and she felt such compassion for them" (206). I feel that way sometimes, as if I'm a completely different 'Shonya" than I was 25 years ago, like it's not even the same person.

I also liked the inclusion of a traveling symphony/acting troupe as "survival is insufficient" and people need the fine arts, even when their focus is on finding food, shelter, and a safe place from bandits.

Teaching From Rest

Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie

I loved this book. I think the author should maybe send me a commission as I have recommended it to so many people--I know 11 have purchased it so far for sure. :) It has been SUCH an encouragement to me in my homeschooling this season, and I'm expecting this title to appear on my list of "favorite books read in 2015". I have 8-9 friends coming over next Monday evening to discuss this with me. I'm hoping it is a blessing to them as well--you know how different books hit people differently, and we are all in different seasons and such, but it was such a blessing to me that I am actually getting ready to read through it again and will be journaling my way through it.

So, why has it been such a blessing?

1) The author keeps it real. This homeschooling journey is difficult, we are not enough in our own strength, and she validates and commiserates with the challenges without whining about them.
2) She points time and time again to the Lord as the source of our strength, as the one who is the author and finisher of our faith--and us--and our children. She offers many words of wisdom, both philosophically and practically.
3) It's only 80 pages! There's no fluff, she just says what needs to be said.
4) She offers practical suggestions that are changing my school year. We are about 8 weeks into our year, and frankly, I had just been surviving each day, desperately trying to juggle all my plates without any falling and crashing to the floor. I have been collapsing into bed each night, absolutely exhausted--and worse, weary--and feeling like I didn't do it well. These last couple of weeks, however, I have been implementing some of her suggestions and I have been ENJOYING my children.

REVIEW PART TWO:

It's not often that I read a book twice in one month AND host two discussion evenings to discuss said book. Here are just a few quotes demonstrating why it's been such a blessing to me in this season:

--This work of homeschooling and raising hearts and souls and bodies is hard. It is more than I can do in my own strength. . .But he is not asking me to feed the 5,000; He just wants me to bring my basket of loaves and fish and lay them at his feet.

--The true aim of education is to order a child's affections--to teach him to love what he ought and hate what he ought.

--Our work in raising up and teaching our children is never really done. But we must remember that *we* were never intended to finish it.

--I cannot serve two masters, and neither can you. Whose 'well-done' are you working for?

--Will He find that we used (daily life tasks) to draw closer to Him? Were the tedious details of a homeschooling day offered up as a way for us to love Him, or were they merely gotten through, checked off, and accomplished?

--Our children are not projects.

--It is our part to offer what we can, His to finish what we cannot.

Fresh ideas like morning time, implementation of looping subjects (which I've done before, but not quite like this), and "permission" to keep educating myself are just a few more ways reading this book has brought refreshment and, yes, rest, to my days.

"We (moms) are demonstrating with our very lives that the world is worth learning about, our minds are worth cultivating, and people are worth loving. We model delight in learning something new, and we demonstrate what it looks like to find like-minded peers to encourage and be encouraged by" (76).

Cutting For Stone

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

I thought this book was really interesting. I really enjoyed all the medical detail and the history of Ethiopia. I also really liked the characterization and the growth the characters experienced through their trials. I continue to be horrified by female circumcision/genital mutilation, and was absolutely sick to learn about vesiculovaginal fistula which is caused by young girls being given as brides, she then becomes pregnant and are physically unable to deliver the child who dies and rots in the womb, leaving her with a hole between the bladder and vagina so that the urine constantly leaked causing infection and horrible odor. (424) I think we in American really can't fathom what a life of such poverty looks like.

There were lots of interesting themes in the story. My favorite one was about choosing what kind of life you are going to live:

"Why must I do what is hardest?"
"Because, Marion, you are an instrument of God. Don't leave the instrument sitting in its case, my son. Play! Leave no part of your instrument unexplored. Why settle for 'The Three Blind Mice' when you can play the 'Gloria'?". .
"But I can't dream of playing Bach, the 'Gloria'."
"No, not Bach's 'Gloria.' Yours! Your 'Gloria' lives within you. The greatest sin is not finding it, ignoring what God made possible in you" (7).

"I hope one day you see this as clearly as I did in Kerchele. Everything you see and do and touch, every seed you sow, or don't sow, becomes part of your destiny. . .The key to your happiness is to own your slippers (from an Ethiopian folk tale about Abu Kassem who held onto his tattered old slippers past any reasonable use, but then every effort to get rid of them ended in disaster), own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't. If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more. Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny" (351).

There were themes about the relationship between father and son, brothers, and young love. There was the theme of forgiveness and themes of loss, particularly of parents.

There was the theme of where your home is, who "your people" are:
"Her skills were so rare, so needed for the poorest of the poor, and even at times in the royal palace, that she felt valued. Wasn't that the definition of home? Now where you are from, but where you are wanted?" (95)

The contrast between life in Ethiopia and life in America was. . .sickening? We really are such a wasteful and spoiled country. We expect to have what we want. We take for granted the luxuries of our lives. I was especially intrigued at the assertion that Ethiopians go to the doctor expecting to die, but happy when they don't die. In America, on the other hand, "death or the possibility of it always seemed to come as a surprise, as if we took it for granted that we were immortal, and that death was just an option" (486).

The more I think about it, the more I liked it. My primary complaint is that it seemed longer than it needed to be. He gave lots of background information about the characters in the beginning while I wondered where this story was going. I was at least 100 pages into the book before I was very interested. There is more description than there really needs to be, in my opinion. But overall, it was really interesting, I learned a lot, and it made me think.

The Boston Girl

The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant

This was a great story to make a four-hour car ride fly right by.  I love the way the author chose to tell Addie's story, as if she were answering her granddaughter's question "How did I get to be the woman I am today?"

I was captured by her initial answer "It started in that library, in the reading club.  That's where I started to be my own person" (11).

I loved the way we saw the passing of history, the big changes in society through Addie's eyes and experiences, even as there was a definite "feminist" flavor through her narrative.  I loved the role education played in Addie's growth, and (as a journalism major myself) I was tickled by the editing of her first newspaper article:  "Mort moved my ending to the beginning, took out all the adjectives, cut the whole thing in half, and made it one hundred percent better" (191).

I could relate to her descriptions of close friendships as there are certain people with whom I too "feel I understand myself better after we spend time together" (111) or I can share thoughts and experiences with and "telling (her) about those things made them seem lighter and less terrible" (287).  I am so thankful for the "Filomenas" in my life.

Addie certainly had her share of difficult times in her life.  I love reading a good book which examines people--who they are, why they do what they do--and this was one of these books.  Her relationship with her mother was especially sad as she never felt loved or accepted by her mom.  "Mameh had changed the least.  She cleaned and cooked and complained.  She wouldn't touch Betty's washing machine; she said it ruined the clothes and didn't get them as clean as she got them with her washboard, and then she groaned about how doing the laundry was killing her back" (234).  Oh, may I not be this person, always critical and complaining!  And she left behind an irreparable scar on her daughter's spirit, even after the mother had died:  "When they lowered the coffin into the ground, I remember thinking, She won't be able to make me feel like there's something wrong with me anymore.  But when the first clump of dirt hit the coffin, I realized that I would never stop wanting my mother to tell me that I was all right and that's when I started to cry" (276).  See how valuable it is to read books, even just a fiction novel?  Here is a perfect example of what NOT to be as a mother.