When I Was Thirteen

Have you ever wondered what your 13-year-old self would think of who you are today?

While reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God the other day, I came across this sentence: "This was not what I'd imagined my life would be like back when I was a carefree 17-year-old, traveling by my father's side and eagerly filling journal pages with my reflections, dreaming of my future life as a wife and mother" (pg 143).

It made me think of movies like 'The Kid' and '13 Going on 30'. The premise of the first movie was Bruce Willis's character meeting his younger self who was shocked that at his age he was neither married, nor had a dog, and was basically a big loser (albeit a rich and successful man by the world's standards). And in the second movie, the teen girl wakes up one morning as an adult to find she is gorgeous, popular, and successful beyond her wildest dreams. . .then realizes it was gained at the expense of true friends and her integrity.

So, what would the 8th grade Shonya think of me now? I wonder. . .she might think I'm a little weird, that I have a good-looking husband. . .giggle. I have to admit my priorities and thoughts have changed a lot since then, but I truly think it's been for the better. I'm not who I thought I would be in a lot of ways, for sure. What would your middle school self think of you now?

I Can Do It!

My little Easton is three. He can do lots of things, all by himself. He is big now, you know. "Don't help me Mommy, I can do it!" We all know how much he loves PB&J and that he requests it every single day. Well, now he can even make the sandwich himself! What am I needed for anymore, may I ask?!
First you take the peanuts and you smash'em, you smash 'em. . .oh wait, that's an old song isn't it?! Notice how important this job is, and how very, very carefully he works.

At one point, the tongue was out, but I missed that shot. He didn't need any help at all--the wooden cutting board was pulled out of the cabinets, the sanitary one made his work table. . .he had it all under control.One must get the pb on the knife just so. . .And then, when you have enough pb and are ready for the jelly, everyone knows you lick the excess pb from the knife! Isn't that what you do??? He put the jelly on each piece of bread with a spoon and folded them in half to make two half sandwiches.

Look at those eyes sparkling!! I'm sure it was the best PB&J he's ever had in his life--because HE made it!

It's a balance, though, isn't it? Independence is a good thing. . .to a point. We want to be independent, to stand up for ourselves and be responsible, yet we must be *dependent* on God and never get too 'big for our britches' to accept His help, seek His counsel, and do things His way. I tend to err on the 'independent' side of things, and then He gently reminds me of my limitations. . .but always oh, so gently and with compassion. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he *remembers* that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14 (Isn't that amazing?!)

Wise Beyond Her Years

Briana (my 13 yod) and I went to town tonight to run some errands and have supper together. We try to have a private Bible study and 'mother/daughter' time once a month (but hadn't done this since June 6!!!) I love this time with her, and am constantly amazed at the perception this young lady has. I am trying to stay 'one step ahead of her', but I'm not sure I always succeed (or that I fake it very well!!!!)
Tonight we were studying about forgiveness and talking about issues surrounding this subject. Now, she has had the opportunity to practice the art of forgiveness with her mother many times. She is very sensitive, easily gets her feelings hurt, and I am. . .well, too quick with my tongue and more easily frustrated (and irritated) than I should be. She is my firstborn, and I tend to expect a lot out of her.

As we were talking about these things, she told me she is glad I have sometimes hurt her feelings and not shown more self-control, because it has helped her learn to get over being so sensitive and given her the opportunity to learn how to forgive. She pointed out that if she were allowed to have 'thin skin' and be easily offended, and I were somehow a perfect parent who handled every situation with grace and loving patience (HA!), she would be living in a little bubble which would someday be cruelly popped.

WOW!!! She never ceases to amaze me. It made me think of the concept that our marriages are a useful tool to 'conform us into the image of Christ' (as per Romans 8:29) if we will just rise to the occasion and opportunity. When our spouse hurts us, we can learn forgiveness, like Christ. When our spouse embarrasses us, we learn to be more humble, like Christ. When our spouse is demanding, we learn to be more giving, like Christ. When our spouse is crabby, we learn to be more patient, like Christ. You get the idea.

But who would have thought that as a parent, I am a tool to drive my daughter to the cross, conforming her into the image of the Son, because of my many weaknesses?! I guess I could handle being a tool, but couldn't I be a sharp one, deftly handled? Instead, I am a dull tool, clumsily and painfully carving away.
Dear Lord, please protect my precious daughter physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and preserve her tender heart for your service. Please forgive me for losing self-control and lashing out with my tongue when my selfishness leads to frustration and irritation. Please use me as an EFFECTIVE tool to shape her into the woman you want her to become. I thank you and praise you for her being in my life and the many, many lessons you have taught me through her. Thank you for your Son, and for caring enough about each of us to want to conform us into His image. Through His name I offer this prayer, Amen.

It Was a Good Day

Phew, I'm tired, but it was a good day. We usually start school after the 4th of July, in a fun, low-key, "take a day off whenever there's something else to do" kind of way. We gradually add more subjects until we are 'full load'. Well, today was full load. The MOTH schedule is officially complete and revamped, all subjects are in place, and school takes precedence over optional, fun activities.

I get a little crazy this time of year, especially when I realize at such late notice that the year is not going to go as originally planned. I was fully expecting to start Briana and Destry in a formal Spanish class and planned to study the Renaissance, Reformation, and Explorers in history this year. The Spanish class didn't work out, but a Civics class was being offered within our homeschool support group. I had originally thought to wait a year or two on this class, but considering all the recent political events and various situations that have been plopped into my life. . .it just seems like a good time to study civics! (Can I insert here that I don't remember ever studying 'civics' in my 17 years of formal education?! I am excited to sit in on the class with my children--I think I need to know this stuff even more than they do!)

So, that said, I've been scrambling and pulling together different supplementary resources than I had meticulously researched, planned, accumulated, paid for. And my most exciting resource for civics came in the mail today!!! Hurray! I couldn't put the silly book down today. It has biographies of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, at the risk of their own lives, along with character traits these men exhibited. It is a fascinating read. My second favorite resource is a study of court cases which encourages critical thinking to determine how the Bill of Rights applies to the cases. I think it's going to be a fun and interesting year for this momma who is in the process of getting her head out of the sand regarding the freedoms we take for granted in this country.

"A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we have come from, or what we have been about." --Woodrow Wilson

I'm trying to educate myself and my children about where we have come from and what we have been about so we don't perish for a lack of vision!

And speaking of vision, I had an excellent shot in the arm from a homeschooling mom of several children regarding what to do with my little ones during the homeschooling day and have implemented a 30-minute daily Bible story time. Today we read the story of Joseph. Easton is such a smart little guy--I love to watch his eyes move off to the side and lose focus as he is listening, thinking, and learning. As I talked about the brothers plotting against Joseph, he suddenly shouted out "They put blood on his coat!" Ah, the sweet, sweet sound of learning taking place--he knows this story!

Yes, it was a good day, indeed.

A Poem I Don't Want to Lose

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women,
Who barely knew each other.
One is in your heart forever,
The other you’ll call mother.

Two different lives,
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you how to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you a family,
It was what God intended for her to do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment…
Which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling… neither,
Just two different kinds of love.
--Author Unknown

I Wish I Was Shocked

Do you ever see something happen, and it's shocking, but you just aren't shocked because you half expected it and aren't surprised it would happen? Does that qualify as cynicism?

That's how I felt today when I saw that a professing christian got married for the third time after publicly stating that his second divorce was unscriptural--and one of his elders officiated the ceremony.

It's just no wonder that the world looks askance at "christians" when they act like that. We would expect something like that from people of the world, but God has higher standards for us when we commit to live our lives for him.

I'm trying to shake it off, but it just makes me sick and sad and frustrated. We aren't supposed to look exactly like the people around us--we are supposed to be peculiar and live in such a way that people ask us for the reason of the hope that is within us. We all have our struggles, but that one is just such blatant, public disregard for God's plan. I guess I just keep learning. . .

Kiana Jayde

The older I get, the faster time seems to fly. I can't believe I am potty training my baby right now! Kiana is going to be TWO the end of September and she is changing so quickly. She likes to go 'potty in the potty chair' and as soon as she hears the telltale tinkle in the toilet, her eyes light up and she says "potty! M&Ms!!"












She is absolutely the messiest child I've had yet (my mom chuckles at this--guess I would've come in a close tie with her) and it doesn't matter whether it's mudpuddles, food, sand, drinks, water in the sink. . .she will make a mess. It's not uncommon for her to wear 2-3 different outfits in one day. I've gone through more OxyClean and Shout in the 22 months of her life than I did the 22 YEARS before her birth!























She is really playing 'pretend' these days, as she goes around feeding her babies, rocking them, singing to them and putting them in bed. She loves to play that a bear is coming or a dinosaur, and we all hide and pretend we're scared (it's always either Daddy or big brother Destry), then she giggles maniacally when she's discovered. She loves to sing and frequently entertains herself by singing entire songs, word for word.





















































She is just as ornery as they come. Her eyes sparkle, her dimples shine, and you'd better watch out! She'll argue just for the sake of arguing and do the opposite of what you say just to test you (her eyes shining and challenging the entire time). Her very favorite thing to do with Daddy is play 'Simon Says'. She marches, beeps her nose, does somersaults, rolls over, turns around, and screams right along with the big kids. When she wants something you have, she'll tilt her head, hold out a hand with curled fingers and ever so sweetly ask "I haa it??" How can a person resist! What an incredible blessing she is!

Here We Go Again

I haven't been posting much lately for a variety of reasons. One, I've been running around, two, I've been moving my old blog, three, I've been trying to get ready for school. But the biggest reason is probably that I have been consumed with adoption again.

When we adopted Easton and Kiana, I wasn't blogging so there is no record of the thoughts and feelings inherent in such a journey. The only reference I remember making to adoption in my past blog was the words to a song that really touched me. I'll try not to go on and on about the process, but sometimes writing helps me process my thoughts and feelings, and it might be interesting to come back and read it sometime and remember what marvelous things God has done.

The paperwork in adopting is overwhelming and time-consuming, but ultimately worth it. I have been slower filling it out this time than ever before. I have to admit to some mixed feelings. While I am excited about the possibility of God bringing us another child and curious to see what God does in our lives, I am also feeling rather fearful.

The two main areas I am experiencing fear are the fear of rejection and the financial cost of adopting. Both are familiar feelings, but for some reason, I am letting them affect me more this time. I can't help but wonder if birthmothers will think we have 'enough' children or are getting too 'old' so won't choose us to parent their baby. We've had two birthmothers consider us already this summer, and both have chosen other families. This is okay on the one hand, because I firmly believe God's will is going to be done, whether we have another child or not. But the human part of me still doesn't enjoy rejection. . .

Can I also be real and talk about that taboo word--money? I'm feeling some anxiety in this area as the cost of adoption just keeps increasing. In the 16 months between our first two adoptions, the cost increased by $7,000. It's been nearly two years now, and the list of fees from our agency are already showing increases. We are a single-income family. . .we budget, we try to be careful, but it's a lot of money and I feel tempted to worry about how we are going to afford this again! Yet, on the other hand, I also know God is faithful and will provide. Oh, the struggle between the flesh and the spirit! So, if you would like to pray for my peace as well as God's will in our family's life, I would appreciate it.

And having said all this, please let me also just share what an incredible blessing adoption has been for us. We are confident this is God's will for us, as Christians, to care for the orphans and as a friend recently said to me 'the speed with which E and K were added to your family and the relationships you have with their birthparents are just evidence that you are within God's will in this decision.' That was so encouraging.

I have also been encouraged recently along this adoption journey by a video which left me with tears streaming down my face and a heart softened toward adoption, in spite of my weakness and fear.



I appreciated being reminded of the roles Christians can play in 'visiting the orphans'--Pray, Suport, Adopt. As my mom is always telling me "you can't save them all," but I can do the above three suggestions.

More on Socialism

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I know I talk about this a lot, but I think we need to be educated and realize what our worldview is. If we don't know what socialism is, how can we avoid it? My sister sent me this and it's too good not to share. Contrast socialism (which, in its economic application, is living off the 'government' who "redistributes wealth" because it's not "fair" for someone to have something you don't have when you "deserve" to have the same stuff/opportunities/privileges so all can be 'equal') with the verse "If any would not work, neither should he eat" (II Thes. 3:10) and other similar verses which clearly teach if you haven't EARNED it, don't take it. In economic terms "TANSTAAFL" or "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch"--what the government gives as "free" (food, housing, medical care, excess tax 'return', schooling, etc.) is being paid for by SOMEONE--that's socialism. As the late Adrian Rogers said, "you cannot multiply wealth by dividing it." Professor is a Genius An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class. -------------------------------------------- That class had insisted that Obama's socialism would work and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A. After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. Could not be any simpler than that.

Mr. Personality

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I get a kick out of the things three-year-old-Easton says, so thought I would share a few so I don't forget them. I heard him in the other room saying 'stupid, dumb, poop, stupid, dumb, poop'. These are words we aren't supposed to say in this house, so I headed in to correct him. Turns out his cars were saying these words, and he was correcting them. Do you suppose it was just an excuse to say them??? Frequently heard around the house: "Jesus loves the wittle chill-dwen, all duh chill-dwen of the weee-eld" The cutest thing he says, guaranteed laughter from Mom every time: "You wanna piece of me? huh, huh, huh? do ya, do ya, do ya? Ohhhhhh, I'm scared now." (quoting Dorie from Finding Nemo. I know, not the greatest thing to brag about, but he's SOOOO cute!) Easton doesn't like going to the library for story hour. He wants to go to the library when he can "read books all by myself". There are "too many people" at story hour and they "devastate the library". Yes, devastate. giggle I'm a believer in pointing to God as the ultimate authority and the One who helps Mommy know how to raise children, so I say things like "God doesn't like it when we kick the kitty because He made the kitty and wants us to take care of him" or "God likes it when we are kind to our friends" or "God is happy when you obey Mommy" and so forth. I might be saying this a little too much as when he's doing something and isn't quite sure if it's okay or he'll get in trouble, he tilts his little head to the side and says (ever so seriously) "God likes it when (fill in the blank)". So far it hasn't been anything he SHOULDN'T be doing, just something he didn't ask permission to do first. Easton loves PB&J more than any kid I've ever seen. I seriously think he would eat it three meals a day, every day! Here are lunch conversations from two days in a row. Mommy: What shall we have for lunch today? Easton: waffles! Mommy: We had waffles for breakfast, now it's time for lunch Easton: How about peanut butter and jelly? That's lunch!!! Next day: Mommy: What shall we have for lunch today? Easton: peanut butter and jelly is fine Sometimes you have to smother a grin around these guys. Easton is so expressive, it's just impossible to convey HOW he says the above--you'll have to use your imagination. But be sure to emphasize certain words and let your voice go up in pitch when excited, not to mention those sparkling eyes.

Relatives or Friends?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

We've been really blessed recently with lots of time with our families, both my immediate family and Alan's immediate family. We had so much fun. I think it's especially cute that Easton can't quite decide if his cousins are cousins or friends or what, so he calls them 'cousinfriends'. I'm glad we are close to our families. The occasion for gathering at my sister's house was Isaiah's second birthday. We had a great day hanging out and just being a family. People played card games boxed on the Wii (sp?) (Jon, my sister's husband, beat both Alan and Destry) played with blocks (I know, he refuses to grow up! LOL) and just hung out being goofballs. (My sister, Shayla, and her son, Isaiah) Jon and Adi pile on Grandma. We all happened to be sitting together (except Destry, we called him over for the shot)! I think we might like each other. Here's my brother, Sheldon, with his sweet little girl, Mya Mae. I think she looks an awful lot like him--and yes, I think she might have a tint of Grandma Fetters' red hair! We also took advantage of the opportunity to get a picture of us three siblings together. We looked a lot younger in the last picture we have of the three of us! The little cousins are so cute together, and are great friends. Easton and Nathan are double trouble, for sure--they both go 100 miles per hour! Adi and Kiana are really cute together, too. Adi knows she is the 'big cousin' of this duo. Any volunteers to clean up this mess? Kiana also enjoys all the extra attention from her aunts--Aunt Marcy is willing to push her around in her car while Mommy would just tell her to go drive it herself! I guess that's enough pictures for now--I'll have to do a post with 'the Klein side' separately!

A Great Quote

"Our leaders, instead of challenging us to our highest and best, are happily accommodating us to our lowest and least because it makes us more dependent on them."--Rick Boyer
Think about that for a minute!