Focusing the Goal

"Marcus was handsome, intelligent, well-spoken, shrewd. Julia was beautiful, charming, full of life. Both were well educated and admired by their peers" (212).

I think about who I want my children to be. I can't help but set goals for them. I think every parent does this, but I wonder what is the focus of our goals. . .and what the focus of our goals should be. I wonder if we even think about this in the way we should.

"Nevertheless, Decimus felt a gnawing despair, a sense of failure as their father" (212).

If you are a Francine Rivers fan, as I am, you surely recognize these characters. I'm reading her Mark of the Lion trilogy (for either the third or fourth time--I've lost track--and YES, it's that good!) and I am especially struck by the relationship between parents and children this time. I'm struck by the focus of the parents, the things they value, the goals they set, and the resulting values and actions of the children.

"It was an appalling realization that the child he had created and loved so much held in contempt both him and all he held sacred. . .How is it possible that we have two children so opposed to all we believe in? What has happened to virtue and honor and ideals? Marcus believes nothing is true and anything is permitted. Julia thinks the only thing that matters is her own pleasure. I've worked my entire life in order to give my children everything I never had at their age--wealth, education, position. And now I look at them and wonder if my life is simple vanity. They haven't the smallest fiber of moral character" (213).

Is it my goal to give my children everything I never had? Is my goal my children's happiness?

His words hurt, and Phoebe sought some way to defend her children. "Don't judge them so harshly, Decimus. It's neither your fault, nor mine, nor theirs. It's the world they live in" (214).

Do I make excuses for my children? Do I lower my standards--indeed, God's standards--to those of the world? Do I claim my children as victims of circumstances or empower them to choose who and what they will serve?

"Whatever feels good is right. Whoever stands in the way of their pleasures, they want destroyed. They demand the moral chains be removed, never understanding that it's moral restraint that keeps man civilized. . .I am afraid for them, Phoebe. What happens to a society when all restraints are removed? I see our children consumed with watching blood be spilled in the arena. I see them seeking an unending diet of sensual pleasure. . .The more our children have, the more they want, and the less conscience they have about how they get it" (214)

I am a little scared at how familiar this sounds, in spite of the fact that this book is set in Ancient Rome.

In contrast, God defines and outlines the way to success.

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

It's not about looks, intelligence, abilities or popularity. God has a completely different standard--a far loftier goal. I truly can't even wrap my brain around it. I want to understand it; I want to aspire to it. But I'm not sure that's even humanly possible. I want to train my children to be prepared to face the Lord. I don't just want them to be good citizens, good providers, good homemakers, patriots, scholars or hard workers.

I went to a conference this past weekend with my daughter and was impressed by a message titled "Shepherding Your Child With Eternal Aims." He summed it all up in one verse of Scripture.

The goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart, and a good conscience, and a sincere faith. I Timothy 1:5

Love from a pure heart. Love from a good conscience. Love from a sincere faith. Now that is a goal worth setting.