The Story Continues

You may get tired of ambiguous updates on the adoption process, but I don't know what to say. . .welcome to my life?? chuckle It seems this uncertainty is just a part of this particular journey and inspires me to simply hold more tightly to the Lord's hand.

I'm writing out the stories of our past two adoptions for a friend (slowly, very slowly!) and I am saddened to find how fuzzy the details have become over the last four years. In response to that sadness, I am being particularly careful to record more of this journey, so here you go.

It's been one of those weeks. We got a call last Thursday that an AA girl was born on Wednesday, April 21, and her mother was considering making an adoption plan. This birthmother, LaCara, was working with the agency through whom we adopted Easton and Kiana (out of Kansas City, not the Florida lawyer). Our social worker asked if we wanted to be presented, said the baby was going from the hospital to one of their foster homes, and the birthmother would be choosing a family the beginning of the week. Of course we said yes, and I tried to just go ahead with my weekend plans with my older daughter and some friends to a homeschool conference and trust that God would work out His will.

On Friday, we received a call from the Florida adoption attorney that they had presented us to a birthmother (Amy) who was due November 3 and she had chosen our family! Whoops! Miscommunication there--you are not supposed to be presented to two situations at once, for who wants to tell a birthmother they have to go with their second choice to be the forever family for their baby?! We were in a quandary--what to do, what to do. We prayed and prayed all weekend.

There were so many factors to take into consideration. Even though Amy had officially chosen us, she's not due until November, our home study expires in October, we were less than pleased with the bill presented by that lawyer over the failed adoption, . . .we had not told them to present us to her. And here was another baby, already born, through an agency we have LOVED working with in the past. But she was still looking over families to choose someone to parent her little girl.

Then we learned that LaCara didn't sign the termination papers. Because of her situation, her baby will be in the foster system until she gets her life together, but she wants to hold onto the hope of someday getting her baby back, so she didn't follow through on an adoption plan.

Now what to do about Amy? We took another day of intense prayer and discussion before we called the lawyer to talk over our options. Frankly, it was a horribly stressful time for me and I was on the verge of tears throughout it. My list of pros/cons stressed me out, and I was completely out of control of the situation (yes, God is still working on my control-freak tendencies); yet it wasn't as much about a lack of trust in God as it was this horrible responsibility of feeling like we had a decision to make and we didn't know what decision would be best--we sincerely did not know what decision God wanted us to make. Usually it has seemed we can pray and study the Word and sense some direction--this time we just had no idea what to do. One friend provided clarity as I was sharing with her and she asked "would either decision take you out of God's will?" It was a relief to realize that no, neither decision would be 'wrong'. All options would just be difficult. Most of the situation just didn't bring peace to us, yet we value the life of each child and want to support mothers who are choosing life for their children.

When we called the lawyer, we learned that they had visited with Amy about the situation we were in and she was happy with another family they had available to parent her baby. How good God is! She is happy with her decision, her baby will have a safe and loving home, and we have peace that our prayers for discernment, guidance, and His will were answered.

Which brings us to today. We received an email from the social worker working with LaCara sharing that her situation is up in the air. Her baby is still in the foster care of our adoption agency rather than the state. Might the Lord yet move her to make a permanent plan of security for her baby rather than moving her around in foster care while she attempts to get her life straightened out? Only God knows, and time will reveal it to us. Meanwhile. . .you guessed it. . .we're praying!!!