Encouraging Words

I'm still working on jotting notes and thoughts from Humility: True Greatness because, even on my third time through, it's just THAT GOOD! Also because, quite simply, I am THAT FAR away from true greatness.

In our last post we talked about identifying evidences of grace in those around us, and this week our topic is related to that same idea as we consider the words we speak. "When you examine your words you'll discover your heart for our use of the tongue is the hinge on which the door into our soul swings open in order to reveal our spirit" (120). "How much of that flow (of words) is fulfilling God's intended purpose for our speech? How much of it reflects pride, rather than a gospel-motivated humility?" (111).

I am so convicted from this chapter that I don't even want to write this post. But maybe it will help me. The chapter is based on God's intended purpose for our speech from Ephesians 4:29--Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. We are clearly told everything we should say--and what we never should say.

• Corrupting talk is words that bring decay. Words that defile someone, are divisive or degrading. "Any and all communication that deters growth in godliness; any speech that hinders the cultivation of godly relationships; any words that have a deadening or dulling effect on the soul of another" (113).
• Words that build up "reveal the character and the promises and the activity of God. They're words rooted in and derived from Scripture" (114). They are words that show how God is at work--especially in the lives of our fellow believers.
• Fitting words are appropriate to the person I'm seeking to serve. In order to tailor our words to the person, we must know that person and not "simply be trying to impress them. What do they need now? Is it counsel? Exhortation? Warning? Comfort? Forgiveness?" (115). I Thessalonians 5:14
• Purposeful words geared to giving grace to the hearer are chosen with discernment and give justifying grace to those who feel condemned or are legalistic, bring sanctifying grace to those struggling with sin, comforting grace to the suffering, sustaining grace to the weary. . .(118). I found this list of types of grace particularly interesting. We must especially "prepare to give grace when we correct, and we must give hope in the midst of correction. Never correct without reminding the individual, at some point, of the gospel" (119). Oh, how very convicting this last point is, especially as I consider the correction of my children. I know to point them to the cross, I desire to point them to the cross. . .but too often, my pride and selfishness get in the way and I rail at them, belittle them, and shame them rather than giving grace.
  

"In my experience, where there's an absence of edifying words there's also normally the presence of pride and of self-righteousness, because those who are proud are too preoccupied with themselves and think too highly of themselves to care about building others up or to be sensitive to their true needs. It's the humble who are perceptive; they're skilled in discerning the work of God in others because they care about others and want to serve others" (121--emphasis mine)

My prayer?

Let the words of my mouth and
the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14 ESV