Learning Lessons in Limbo, Part One

These last four months have been a season of great learning for me.  In some respects, I have felt like my life has been in limbo as we have waited to see what Alan's next job would be, where we would live, whether or not we would sell our farm, etc.  It hasn't always been easy, and I haven't always handled situations as I should have.  But in hindsight, it has been worth every step for the growth which has resulted.

In the spirit of continuing to gather stones of remembrance (for what is the point of learning these lessons if I don't take note of them, remember them, and even share them?!) I am going to use a couple posts to reflect on a few of these lessons God has been impressing upon me.

• Obedience doesn't ensure a physical, earthly reward.

From the very beginning of this ride, when Alan resigned from his job after being directed to break a contract, many have been telling us "God will reward his integrity and he'll get a job even BETTER than the one he had."  I recoiled inwardly at this "prosperity gospel" implication, even as I knew people were only trying to be encouraging.

This philosophy, however, is not at all consistent with what the Bible teaches or what history has shown.  Indeed, people who stood up for what was right have often been persecuted and even killed.  The rest of our lives could be a financial struggle with Alan hopping from one "barely-scraping-by" job to the next and that would not mean God was not faithful.  We are *nowhere* in the Bible promised a life of ease.  Rather, we are promised God will be with us in the suffering as we follow in Christ's path and He will provide peace and joy in the suffering.

Consider, for example, I Peter 2:20-25; 3:15-18; 4:12-19.  I think Paul is also alluding to this in Philippians when he says "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. . .For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him" (1:27, 29).  He doesn't anywhere say "follow Christ and obey Him and then everything is going to work out all peachy and you'll be healthy, happy, and rich."

As I'm revisiting Narnia with my older children, a scene from "The Silver Chair" makes this same point.  As the enchanted knight implores them to release him "in the name of Aslan", which was a sign Aslan himself had given them, they were faced with a choice:

"On the other hand, what had been the use of learning the signs if they weren't going to obey them?. . .
"Do you mean you think everything will come right if we do untie him?" asked Scrubb.
"I don't know about that," said Puddleglum.  "You see, Aslan didn't tell Jill what would happen.  He only told her what to do." (167)

God doesn't tell us what will happen, or even that great things on this earth will reward us for our obedience--He only tells us what to do.

We have to be careful that our faith in God is not contingent on our happiness and ease here on earth.

• Sometimes our minds can be made up in a certain direction and we don't even realize we are not seeking God's leading

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)  It's so tempting to seek our own selfish will, our own comfort and ease, rather than seeking God.  This experience has taught me to carefully consider my motivations and the secret desires of my heart which sometimes aren't even known to me.  With David I have plead "Search me, O God, and know my heart:  try me, and know my thoughts:  and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).

I think this lesson doesn't just apply when in the decision-making process, but is one to also carefully consider as other people I know may be trying to make decisions.  When giving advice to others it will also be important for me to examine my own motivations behind advice to make sure I am encouraging others to seek God first, to "set (their) affection on things above, not on things of the earth" rather than allowing my own selfish desires to influence what I say to them.

• A season of waiting is a time rife with temptation

When we are in seasons of waiting, uncertainty, and decision-making, it is a time to hold tightly to our faith and seek the Lord's will through Scripture and prayer for this is a time of vulnerability.  There must be an endless list of all the temptations that could grow from a root of unbelief--fear, anxiety, worry, anger, short-temperedness, impatience. . .(not that I have ever struggled with any of these-ha!)  I think CS Lewis  eloquently illustrates this vulnerability in chapter six of "The Screwtape Letters."  To give a little background if you are unfamiliar with this work, the book is a series of letters supposedly written from the perspective of a devil who is trying to teach a younger devil how to most effectively tempt a human and lead him away from God who is portrayed as the devil's "Enemy".

We want him to be in the maximum uncertainty, so that his mind will be filled with contradictory pictures of the future, every one of which arouses hope or fear. There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.

Your patient will, of course, have picked up the notion that he must submit with patience to the Enemy's will. What the Enemy means by this is primarily that he should accept with patience the tribulation which has actually been dealt out to him—the present anxiety and suspense. It is about this that he is to say "Thy will be done", and for the daily task of bearing this that the daily bread will be provided. It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross but only of the things he is afraid of.

Let him regard them as his crosses: let him forget that, since they are incompatible, they cannot all happen to him, and let him try to practise fortitude and patience to them all in advance. For real resignation, at the same moment, to a dozen different and hypothetical fates, is almost impossible, and the Enemy does not greatly assist those who are trying to attain it: resignation to present and actual suffering, even where that suffering consists of fear, is far easier and is usually helped by this direct action.

These are just a few of the lessons I've been pondering lately and I have another post started sharing more lessons from this time of "limbo"--namely that the time we might call "limbo" is really not limbo at all, but LIFE!  Stay tuned for part two. . .