Things That Have Been Bothering Me

You know how sometimes there are things that weigh on your mind and drag you down until you let go of them and entrust them to the Lord?  I've had a few of those on my mind lately.

• First of all, Kiana has been experiencing some struggles with learning to read.  She was doing great until we hit some sounds that she doesn't pronounce correctly, so I wondered if I needed to get her some speech therapy.  Long story short, we got her a speech evaluation and they say she is on target developmentally.  They aren't worried about her substitutions, the way she bites her lip to make the 'v' and 'f' sounds, or her lack of 'r' sound.  In fact, they showed me that she is getting the 'r' as she pronounces it at the end of words and they think she will be able to pronounce it at the beginning of words in the next six months.  They aren't worried about her lisp for now, but said if she still has it in a year, she might need some help with it.  So, that was good news!  She is still struggling with adding additional sounds in reading, however, so I have been cramming every spare minute reading about brain integration therapy to see if she might be a right brain learner who needs some training in how to move new material from her short term memory to her long term memory.  I'm sure it will all work out fine, I'm just wishing I had known to educate myself in these areas during the summer before school started.  grin

• Secondly, I recently learned of the upcoming divorce of a couple in my local homeschool group who are parents of 10.  As a child of divorce myself, I know how painful divorce is and the aftershocks that continue through years to come.  My heart just goes out to these children, ranging in age from 22 down to 4.  While I don't know the family or the situation very well, it is pretty obvious that the mother is leaving her husband for another man (who has also broken his family for her).  Doesn't the general decline in the valuing of marriage just depress you?  And frankly, it scares me sometimes as I fear going off my rocker, abandoning everything I've believed and sacrificed for all these years, and ripping my family apart in a selfish pursuit of ME.  I hearby give you permission to knock me up the side of the head, tie me up and throw me into a cave if I take leave of my senses in such a way!

• I've also been irritated by a recent editorial in the Des Moines paper criticizing Iowa's amendment to homeschooling laws.  There is a pretty well-done rebuttal here, and I would love to see if there are any responses in letters to the editor, but I'm reluctant to go buy a Sunday paper today to reward the Register for its inflammatory editorial.  In short, the Register takes a statist view claiming the state is ultimately responsible for our children and that "professionals" know what is best for your children and mine.  They also claim the recent amendments were slipped in secretively and maintain that somehow the state knowing a child is being educated at home will ensure that said child receives an adequate education.  

Simply typing this little blurb increases my blood pressure.  You may recall my irritation while jumping through the hoops mandated by former Iowa law when we first moved here.  It was ridiculous and ineffective.  Parents were required to fill out a form stating their intent to home school at the beginning of each year.  We also had to compile a list of resources we planned to use to educate each child and turn it in to the local school district.  It might seem like it was little enough to have to do, but it stole my time from actually educating my children and did absolutely nothing to improve their education or ensure that I was educating them adequately.  It was just busywork.  Additionally, I moved here from Missouri where the parents' rights were better recognized, so I chafed at the state sticking its nose in our business anyway.

It's even more frustrating to read the comments to the above editorial.  Our government schools have done their job well as they have indoctrinated generations to believe that the state has a greater right to our children than we parents do.  Many commenters believe in the "expert" fallacy as the state obviously loves children more than parents and certainly the state knows best.  Somehow people have the idea that parents are responsible to the state (rather than to God), that parents must ask *permission* of the state, and that parents must be accountable to the state.  (After all, government schools have to be accountable and that's just not fair if government schools have to be held accountable in their use of tax dollars to provide an adequate education to the children of those tax payers while home educators aren't held accountable in the education of their children which they themselves are funding.)  (deep breath)

• Okay, last one, I promise.  The final thing that has been bothering me is people who purport to be helping children but manage to amply pad their pocketbook in the process.  To give a  brief background, some states are changing laws so that parents who are about to have their parental rights terminated by the state (for neglect, abuse, etc) have the option of voluntarily signing consent for adoption.  This is a very good thing.  In addition to saving taxpayers lots of money, it allows parents to make one final loving decision so their child(ren) will be part of a family forever (rather than likely bounced from one foster family to another) and if there are siblings, they are able to be in a family together (rather than in separate foster homes). 

But here is the problem.  Adoption agencies are the ones who have proposed the new policies.  And you guessed it--too often their motives are less than altruistic.  Now, don't get me wrong, I fully believe a laborer is worthy of his hire.  People need to make a living for what they do.  I just think we get greedy.  I was recently made aware of such a situation in which an agency was looking for an adoptive family for a brother and sister who have been in foster care for three years and are currently in separate foster homes.  The agency had a week to gather information, find a family, and prepare the necessary legal documentation. Their fee?  TWENTY SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS!  Do you know anyone who makes $26,000 for a week's worth of work?!  Even intense, time-sensitive work surely doesn't require such exorbitant fees.  

It bothers me that agencies and lawyers who have the ability to help children find loving families make it so cost-prohibitive.  If I didn't have five children I'm trying to homeschool, I think I would have to try to find some way to change the adoption industry (for don't doubt that an industry it is).  Anyone wanna take up the banner for me while I'm in this busy season?