Home Safe

Home Safe by Elizabeth Berg

While this book wasn't as enjoyable as other Berg books I've read, it did serve its purpose:  to provide a little escape from real life.  I could really identify with the love and appreciation for the written word which was woven through the pages of this novel. 

"She opens the novel again, reads one page, another.  Then another.  And finally, everything in her own life surrenders to the one being presented here. . .Dan once had a friend who died from metastatic cancer. Toward the end, Dan visited him with some frequency; and each time he would call before going, to see what his friend might want or need.  Each time, his friend requested the same thing:  books" (39).

I thought it was interesting to consider the role writing played in Helen's identity.  It made me wonder what might affect my self-identity if I suddenly lost the ability to do it.  After her husband's sudden death,  the "prolific author" was no longer able to write so she lost both her husband and a large chunk of her 'self'.

"Bad enough that writing was the way she made her living; it was also her anchor, her lens, her abiding consolation.  Without her husband or the practice of laying out words on a page, she feels that she spend her days rattling around inside herself; that, whereas she used to be a whole and happy woman, now she is many pieces of battered self, slung together in a sack of skin" (13).

I've read other reviews by readers who were frustrated with Helen's character, with her inability to pick herself up and move on independently after her husband's death.  But I guess I could just relate to that likelihood.  At one point Helen realized "that she is the kind of person who must do things for or on behalf of another.  For her, the taste of the ice cream, the red of the sunset, the humor in the movie must be shared to be" (189).  I've been married for almost 22 years myself and I am aware I have grown quite dependent on Alan.  We are two halves that make up a whole and we have fallen into a pattern of responsibilities.  It wouldn't be easy for me to take care of car issues, plumbing, or insurance.  I would have to make an effort to understand and accomplish those things that have become "his job".  Similarly, Alan wouldn't find it easy to plan meals, do grocery shopping, or accomplish the million and one tasks I complete to ensure the children's education.  I am also a person who enjoys sharing things.  Several years ago I won a trip to Montreal when I was selling Pampered Chef items.  I still almost regret going because Alan stayed home with Briana and Destry and it's almost as if the trip didn't even happen.  I don't have anyone who shares those memories with me.  I would much rather share an experience with someone who I can later reminisce and laugh with about it.

I doubt I would be a very enjoyable person to be around if Alan would die suddenly.  I think the shock would paralyze me from jumping into independence and I would likely be rather lost for a little while.  I *have* asked him to let me go first--you know, ladies first and all that--it would just be gentlemanly of him.  :)