Raising Real Men

Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys by Hal Young

I was pleasantly surprised by Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young.  I've owned the book for almost two years, but just never felt like reading it.  I've read so many books about raising boys in the last 17ish years, and couldn't seem to get excited about reading another one.

But I actually think this is one of the better books about rearing boys that I've found.  It's easy to read, the writing is conversational in style, and they address both practical and philosophical points.  One of my favorite chapters was entitled "Who's in Charge Here" and was about leadership.  It highlighted both the struggles young men have with submitting to authority and the need for them to rise to servant leadership in a way that they can "carry the burden of leadership without creating a dictatorship of 'me'" (98) and I think I'm going to have Destry read this chapter.

As a believer in everyone pitching in to make the household run, I especially liked their admonition that "every job in the Air Force was meant to support the larger purpose" (191), so it isn't just Mom and the girls' job to take care of housework.  They further supported their point with I Samuel 30:24 and say "any service that advances the family's mission is worthwhile and needs to be valued" (192).  I think this is especially relevant as I've seen some families so concerned with making their boys be "men" (read "manly") that they relegate all household maintenance to the women and end up with lazy, inconsiderate slobs.

Now as my firstborn son approaches independent manhood (he'll be 18 in just four short months), I really got a lot out of the last couple chapters about launching arrows.  "This is why we work to raise real men.  There is a time to protect our sons and a time for them to start protecting others.  There is a time to teach and disciple and control the influences our sons face, then there is a time for them to instruct others and to meet those influences and conquer them" (230).  We're in this season.

I was convicted by Hal's admonition to Melanie "If you don't have time for devotions, you don't have time for school" (132) as I have been remiss this year in putting our Bible study time after academic studies.  I need to get my priorities back into shape.

A couple other quotes I liked:

"If he hasn't faced the trial yet, or he's in the midst of it--encourage him.  If he's been to the wars and is limping home wounded--comfort him.  Once the wounds are bound up, encourage him to rise and face the fight again" (54).

"God made men to be warriors, some with sword, some with the pen, all with the will to resist temptation and strive for righteousness" (78).

I'm glad I finally pulled this one off the bookshelf and can cross it off my TBR Pile Challenge.  It was well worth reading, and a couple of the chapters were especially beneficial in this season.