Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends by Shasta NelsonI very much enjoyed this book.
Having said that, I must insert a disclaimer here that I don't agree with EVERYTHING in this book, and I'm quite certain I don't agree with all the author's life choices or beliefs. While she professes christianity of some sort, she appears to be a religious pluralist and I am not. I could write a couple paragraphs detailing this disclaimer, but overall I really did get a lot out of the book so I'll leave it to the discerning reader to read carefully on her own if she so chooses.
If you can sort the wheat from the chaff, however, there is lots of very interesting information in this book. My main takeaway was that wherever people fall in your circles of friends, *that's okay*. We need people in all different circles or levels and it's okay if you don't "click" with everyone or have a consistent and vulnerable relationship with every person that you like.
As an analytical person, I especially enjoyed evaluating my friendships, placing my friends in their respective circles, and observing where my circles are strong and where they are lacking. This exercise also helped me to identify some of my own strengths and weaknesses in my friendships and challenged me to be a better and more intentional friend.
I also think this book will appeal to people differently based on their perceived need. One of my friends who read this book with me felt like the author was pushing people to make more friends as she frequently suggested ways a person COULD meet new people and make more friends. I didn't sense the author was saying people *must* have lots of friends, but just that she was offering suggestions for people who feel that need.
I thought the author's writing style was quite engaging and found this an easy read, even as it was packed with lots of thought-provoking information. This is definitely one to read and discuss with a friend--RED CHAIR WORTHY! :)
Ok, I'm curious about this "red chair worthy" statement you made. :)
ReplyDeleteI can't remember if I heard about this book from you, initially, or someone else. Either which way I was curious. Not sure what to think after reading your review but I do believe that its' a good idea every once in awhile to think through friendships, why you have them, how they can be improved upon, etc. Relationships are important!
Giggle. I have a very good friend who loves to read and discuss books just as much as I do. We have spent many, many hours in her matching red chairs, with books piled around us, our drinks on the table between us, discussing wonderful books. Whenever I read a book that could provoke HOURS of discussion, I call it "red chair worthy." :D
DeleteIn re-reading my review, I'm a little disappointed in what I said. You can sense my defensiveness as I want people to know that I realize the author doesn't seem to be a faithful christian when really I should have just felt free to focus on the many things I liked about the book.
Again, I wrote a defensive paragraph as an introverted friend felt like the author was saying there is something wrong with people who don't have lots of friends (see, she was being defensive as well!) but I didn't take it that way--I thought the author was just providing suggestions for people who want to know how to meet more people and develop more friends (not saying people SHOULD).
As for me, I loved the book. It affirmed for me that all sorts of people count as my friends, not just those with whom I regularly spend lots of time and intimacy with. It helped me to accept friendships where they are and not be disappointed or have unrealistic expectations. It helped me see where my friendships are strong and where they are weak and what I can do about that. Plus it was JUST. PLAIN. FUN!!!!