Here are a few pictures and some stories about Easton and Kiana this week. They are at such fun ages at 2 and 3, and they make me laugh every single day. This time goes by so quickly! Easton asked me this morning "Can I brush my hair with the toothpick?" (He meant the pick.)
While I was in the bathroom, I heard some pounding on the wall. Since Alan wasn't too happy with the dents in the sheetrock in our bedroom from the pounding last time, I hollered "Hey! Stop pounding on the wall!" Expecting it to be Easton, I was surprised to hear the pounding stop and Kiana's little voice call "Alright!" This is her new response these days--tell her to pick up her toys, "Alright!!", go potty, "Alright!!", come here. . ."Alright!!" It's so cute! Kiana loves to chew 'bubblegum'. She wanted to wear her "puppy gog" dress this morning. Easton has recently become very aware of the 'L' sound and wants to make sure he is saying it correctly. He is correcting himself. This morning he asked Kiana to 'weave' something alone. I heard a pause, then "Llllleave. Lllllllleave it alone, Kiana." He does a good job, but the blending is not there yet. He is adding extra syllables to words. 'Puh-lease' and 'Fuh-lllly' (fly) and 'buh-lllanket'. Easton has started smacking his lips throughout his sentences now, (especially when he's asking for something) which just makes me want to giggle. Here's an example: "Mom, (pause-smack), I was wondering (pause-smack) if I (pause-smack) could have a drink (pause-smack) of juice."
Kiana loves to run around naked. She can strip her clothes off by herself now when I tell her it's time to change clothes, and then she marches around the house (in the buff!) singing for awhile. This morning the song was "The B-I-B-L-E" accompanied by tapping Tinkertoys and her knees lifting high with every step. I've never had a kid quite so interested in clothes. Kiana loves her clothes, loves to change clothes, pick out clothes, talk about her clothes, and take them out of her drawers (grrrr). I don't particularly enjoy doing laundry, so we have a rule of one outfit per day in this house. She never quits trying though. She brings me something new a couple times per day, tilts her head to one side and asks "I wear it???". I say 'no, go put it back', she responds 'Alright' and trots off to her bedroom.Kiana gets frustrated sometimes, particularly with Easton. If he takes a toy away she screams 'NOooooooo'. Then she gets the look from mama for screaming and she says, (with a scowl and in a very crabby voice) "Don't EVER do it AGAIN!"
Easton loves painting these days. It doesn't matter if it's fingerpaints, water paints, or tempura paints. I think the easel he got from Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Marcy for his birthday in May is still his favorite. He regularly paints pictures and says they are for his little friend Zayne or Mundan. Easton wanted to go to his friend Zayne's house the other day. This is how he asked: "Mommy, can we go to Zayne's house today? I asked God and He said YES!!!" Kiana loves Dora the Explorer. She and Easton both watch the movies and yell the responses. Kiana asks "I watch d-d-d-d-Dora, peas??" She now has a Dora doll and a Dora toothbrush holder in addition to the Dora shirt that she wants to wear every. single. day.
I think books are a great way to bring up discussions with our children. As a mother who has adopted two children, I am always looking for books that help the topic come up naturally and smoothly. I am of the opinion that it will be best for my children if they always know they were adopted so it is 'normal' and they don't remember 'the time mom and dad sat me down and told me. . .' or when a family member 'let it slip' or some other scarring event.
I'm finding, that just as with any other topic in children's books, some books handle the subject well, while others are boring, artificial, or simply unsuitable. I thought I would review a few books we have for future reference or for others who have adopted. This list might also bless you if you know someone who has adopted and you are looking for a special baby gift. (I copied the pictures off Amazon and am hoping if you are interested, you can click on them to go to the site and read more descriptions, but I'm not sure I know how to do that!)
This book (How I Was Adopted by Joanna Cole) tells the story of Samantha's adoption. It is very conversational, written in first person, and even has questions written in the text ("Mommy told me that I was adopted. Were you adopted, too?"). One thing I especially like about this book is the way she talks about the characteristics she was born with and she talks about "what I know, how I talk, the jokes I like, the things I can do come from just being me and growing up in my family." I also like this book because I think it is appropriate for a variety of ages. The text is a little old for Kiana, for example, but there are nice pictures that keep her attention. Easton is just starting to interact with the questions, and I think it is something we will be able to benefit from for several more years yet.
This book is a tear-jerker, in my opinion. It is a series of pictures of children and their forever families. Each two-page spread features a black and white photo on one side and a sentence explaining WHY 'I chose you' on the other. There are 100 different reasons, and I think every family who has traveled the road to adoption will find reasons that resonate with their unique experience. Here are just a few that I identify with:
I chose you. . .because I was led to you. . .because you needed a loving family, and mine needed you. . .because you needed the love that I had to give. . .because I wasn't ready to stop raising children. . .because I wanted to be the one to encourage your interests and talents. . .so that I could sing lullabies once more. . .to complete my family. . .because being a parent is what I enjoy most. . .when I saw that you were waiting for someone to hold you close to their heart. . .to give you the opportunities that were once given to me.
I really like this book, too, as the author uses a conversation between momma bear and her baby bear, all snuggled up together, to talk about the little bear's story and how he is his Mama's wish come true. There are three things about this book that appeal to me.
One aspect of this book that I really appreciate is the way the author addresses the birthmother. Barley Bear asks "What about the mama who grew me in her tummy? Didn't she wish for me too?" and Mama responds with "Sometimes a mama will grow a baby in her belly, and for all kinds of reasons, she'll decide she cannot be the very best mama she wants to be. The mama who grew you loved you enough to make a different wish--a wish for a family who would love her little one with a total and adoring love."
I also like the way the author shows God's role in 'placing the lonely in families' (Ps. 68:6) She tells Barley "Of all the children in the whole wide world, God picked you for me." I think this helps a child see how special they are and that God loves them.
Finally, Barley points out that his fur isn't the same color as his mother's and when he asks about that, she says "Some families look alike, and others don't. All families are different. What makes a family is their love for each other."
The fact that the main characters in this story are bears makes it easier for little kids, but it's a long book, so I don't know that it's great for children under the age of three because of their shorter attention span, but we sometimes just read pieces of the text to make it shorter.
We just recently bought this book (God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren), because I read it in the bookstore and it made me cry. It is similar to "I Wished for You" in that it features animals (foxes this time) as the main characters, in a cozy conversation between the mama and baby. It also focuses a lot on God bringing families together. This book is shorter than the previous book, and I think more appropriate for reading to toddlers and younger preschoolers. I like the way the book addresses the process of parents waiting and waiting for the child God would bring them (pictures depict the mama waiting through the four seasons), and I liked when the little fox asks about his birthmother and part of his mama's response included "I think she prayed like crazy that you would be safe. I think she prayed for me as much as I prayed for her." Mama's voice got all whispery. "And God answered both our prayers."
Another feature that makes me love this book is the end where Little Fox asks "Mama, will you be my forever mama?" and the mama answers "Always and forever. No matter what."
There are other picture books that address adoption that we have checked out from the library. Some of them I don't like very well, and others just don't relate to our adoption journeys. But here are a couple I have enjoyed.
This book is about a bunny who is adopted by a cow and a horse. He realizes he is different from his parents, and has a really hard time with it and ends up running away. He eventually returns home and is trying to change and act like a cow and a horse, but they reassure him that they don't want him to change and they ARE his real mom and pop. Then 'they felt more like a family than ever before'. This is a cute book, great illustrations, and it's a short and easy read for young kids, but I'm not sure I love it. I guess it would be a good book if a child started focusing on his or her differences and they needed to be addressed for the child's reassurance, but I'm not sure it's my favorite book to just read on a regular basis.Finally, this book is about an older girl, Megan, who has an open relationship with her birthmother. Her birthmother has a tree in her yard that she decorates every year and sends a picture of it to Megan. But when the birthmother is getting ready to move and get married, Megan is afraid she will no longer be remembered without the tree in the front yard, so she tries to figure out how to give a new tree to her birthmother. As the story progresses, her birthmother tells her "I don't need a tree or anything else to remember you! Even though we don't live together, you will always be a part of me."
I really like this book for an older child, and will likely purchase a copy of it at some point. We are blessed to know our children's birth families, and I think this book helps a child figure out the roles played by the various members of their family (birth and adoptive), in a positive way, as the book ends with Megan thinking "how lucky I am to be part of such a special family."
If you made it through all that, share a couple of titles you like to use in teaching children about real life circumstances, whether they address adoption or some other topic that is important to you!
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Have you ever been invited to something and you find that wondering what to wear takes all the fun out of planning to go? I don't do this very often; for the most part I am pretty comfortable in my own skin and don't worry about what covers it. The only time I think about this is when I dwell on what other people might think. Will they be offended by what I am wearing? Is what I'm wearing appropriate for the situation? Will what I'm wearing reflect badly on someone else?
I felt this way when I went to a business meeting with my husband once. I wore my standard brown gouchos. There were women in evening wear. Oops! Now I have to admit--I was more comfortable in my clothes, I didn't go out and spend a fortune, and I was modestly clothed. But my concern there was a fear of making my husband look bad. (I'll know better next time!).
My standards of dress tend to be pretty simple: modest, it fits, and inexpensive. I've come to realize that some people have a big ole long list of rules for clothing. I recently told a friend she was more observant than I and had spent a lot more time thinking about this than I have!
So, my conclusion? To quote Popeye: "I yam what I yam." I am not who you see on the outside. I am thankful that 'the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.' I guess I'll wear what I have. If you look at just what I'm wearing, and stop there, you aren't going to know me. The clothes do not make the woman. I could use clothes to portray any persona you want me to--but that wouldn't be honest. I prefer to just be myself.
Who am I? I am Yours Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done, Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.
Can somebody explain to me why a little two-year-old is so cute when she's bundled up until she can't move?! But it was the first snow of the year, so everyone had to go outside and enjoy the fun.All four kids, taking turns with the sleds. The weather outside was frightful. . .but the kids thought it was delightful. . . Daring Destry finds snowboarding a more fitting challenge than mere sleds. Of course, this was a super small hill close to the house, but he likes the challenge of the long hills, too. The problem with the long hills is they are in the pasture and the cattle trails are bumpy, even with the snow! Ready, set, go! Kiana is so bundled up she doesn't have control of her hands to hold on very well! Speaking of Kiana, she is getting more and more ornery every day. Here she is goofing off after sitting still for a solid 30 minutes while I experimented with piggyback braids. It was surprisingly quick and easy, and I know it'll go even better next time. I also plan next time to make more partitions in her hair. I divided her head into nine boxes, then started a braid in a top box. When it reached the middle of the next box in that column, I divided the new section into two pieces and used the braid as my third piece to continue braiding down to the next box and finished them off with decorative beads. It has stayed in really well, too! Now if I could just figure out how to keep the braids from getting fuzzy. . .
Briana has made homemade rolls from my 'easy recipe' several times, but she recently said she wants to learn to make the 'real homemade bread'. So, for Home Economics today, we learned about bread baking.
The funny thing is, as we were letting the yeast do its thing in the warm water, I told her the next step is to add the sugar, because the yeast and sugar work together in some way. (This is truly the extent of my kitchen chemistry knowledge).
She smiled, my little chemistry buff, and said "Oh, of course, when the yeast and sugar are combined they release carbon dioxide, which is what causes the bread to rise."
Oh. Well, okay then. :) It's so funny to me how she enjoys chemistry and just 'gets it' when I never have. She had fun mixing and kneading the bread. . . and we had fun 'spanking' the bread as we shaped it into loaves. (There is probably some scientific reason for this, too--releasing air bubbles?! I dunno, it's just what I do!!!) Two beautiful loaves coming out of the oven. . . if only you could have smelled these smells as we spent most of this snowy day inside. And the taste was just divine. Daddy was pleased with his 'little' girl's first loaf of bread (one left for tomorrow!)
I'm reading a book again. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I am re-reading a book, because I read it several years ago when a friend gave it to me. It's an easy read as I recall, has some practical pointers in it, and is called "Juggling Life's Responsibilities" by Anne Elliott.
I've only read the first chapter, and I'm feeling conviction already, and for the very reason I picked the book back up in the first place--I just felt like I needed to get focused. That's what the first chapter is all about. On page 13, she says "Wouldn't it be a shame if your life got so busy. . .if you had so many balls in the air. . .that you reached the end of your life only to find it had been a waste? Even worse, what if you thought your life was a success, but God considered it a waste?"
Wow! That just makes a person think. To top it off, it relates to some of my Bible study last week, and to my last post.
I've not been focused recently in training my children. I've just been trying to keep all the 'juggling balls from hitting the ground' and I've seen some things that needed addressed but have either been lazy or let my priorities get skewed. We had a big reality check in the meeting of the church this morning (or at least Kiana did!), and I was reminded just where my focus is supposed to be--raising my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
In my Bible study last week I read the story of Dinah's rape and the rapist's father trying to 'buy off' the family on his son's behalf (Genesis 34). A commentary I read said this father was counted among "fathers serving rather than ruling the passions of their sons." This got me to thinking about our responsibilities as parents to train the character and conscience of our children. Too many people in our society, certainly, have been allowed to serve their passions rather than being trained to rule them. Have you ever thought of the many examples in the Bible of parents not training their children according to God's plan?
Eli's house was judged because his sons were vile and 'he restrained them not' (I Samuel 3:13). Isaac and Rebekah showed favoritism between their sons which led to deception and fighting (Genesis 27), not to mention their son later showed favoritism among his sons which led to the favored son being sold into slavery by his brothers. King David had a son who raped one of his daughters and there is no record of him doing anything about it other than being furious (II Samuel 13), while another son rebelled against him and conspired to take over the kingdom. There are probably other examples--remind me, if you think of them.
In contrast, however, God said of Abraham "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment" (Genesis 18:19). God also says the purpose of marriage, making man and woman one, is "because he was seeking godly offspring" (Malachi 2:15).
So I am reminded, as a mother, what my focus is supposed to be. It's so easy for "the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things" to "come in and choke" (Mark 4:19) my focus, my main priority, my God-given mission. So, I am thankful for this reminder and will try to re-set my priorities. Seeing the eternal consequences of not restraining my children and allowing them to serve their passions would be the biggest waste and heartbreak I could ever imagine. Be an iron-sharpening-iron-friend (Proverbs 27:17), will you, when you see my focus blurring again?
I'm starting to think my age is catching up with me. It's making itself known in a really strange way. No, it's not my gray hairs, or a couple extra aches and pains. It's extra patience and leniency.
No, not the good kind.
It's in the area of parenting. This morning Kiana ran through the house hollering "Iiiiiii WaaaaNT sommmmme BuuuuuuuuuBBLEGuuuuuuuuummmmmmm!!!!!"
I thought it was funny. Her little voice is so cute, and the way she says bubblegum just makes my heart clench.
Never fear, however, Briana is not old.
"How do you ask for bubblegum?" she firmly reprimanded.
Kiana tilted her head to the side, smiled sweetly, and said in the tiniest little voice: "I ha bubble. gum. peees???"
This is why God gives older siblings, right? To make sure the younger ones aren't given special treatment they never had!!
Easton asked me this morning "Can I brush my hair with the toothpick?" (He meant the pick.)
Kiana loves to chew 'bubblegum'. She wanted to wear her "puppy gog" dress this morning.
Easton has recently become very aware of the 'L' sound and wants to make sure he is saying it correctly. He is correcting himself. This morning he asked Kiana to 'weave' something alone. I heard a pause, then "Llllleave. Lllllllleave it alone, Kiana." He does a good job, but the blending is not there yet. He is adding extra syllables to words. 'Puh-lease' and 'Fuh-lllly' (fly) and 'buh-lllanket'.
Easton has started smacking his lips throughout his sentences now, (especially when he's asking for something) which just makes me want to giggle. Here's an example: "Mom, (pause-smack), I was wondering (pause-smack) if I (pause-smack) could have a drink (pause-smack) of juice."
I've never had a kid quite so interested in clothes. Kiana loves her clothes, loves to change clothes, pick out clothes, talk about her clothes, and take them out of her drawers (grrrr). I don't particularly enjoy doing laundry, so we have a rule of one outfit per day in this house. She never quits trying though. She brings me something new a couple times per day, tilts her head to one side and asks "I wear it???". I say 'no, go put it back', she responds 'Alright' and trots off to her bedroom.
Kiana gets frustrated sometimes, particularly with Easton. If he takes a toy away she screams 'NOooooooo'. Then she gets the look from mama for screaming and she says, (with a scowl and in a very crabby voice) "Don't EVER do it AGAIN!"
Easton wanted to go to his friend Zayne's house the other day. This is how he asked: "Mommy, can we go to Zayne's house today? I asked God and He said YES!!!"
Kiana loves Dora the Explorer. She and Easton both watch the movies and yell the responses. Kiana asks "I watch d-d-d-d-Dora, peas??" She now has a Dora doll and a Dora toothbrush holder in addition to the Dora shirt that she wants to wear every. single. day.
