Cheesy Creations

I thought I would share for posterity that I finally used the cheese press my dear husband designed and built for me. There are so many different kinds of cheese I could make, and many of them require a great deal of time, trouble (adjusting pressure, spraying molds, hanging for weeks and months at a time) and supplies which I simply do not have. But I came across a recipe for 'farmhouse cheese' that is relatively simple, so I made him happy by experimenting with it.
The cheese was really quite good (though it could have used more salt--smile), and didn't last long around here at all. Alan and the kiddos gobbled it right up--I didn't even have to find a way to use it other than people just cutting wedges and eating them. Guess I'll have to try that one again!
I have also made fromage blanc (French for 'white cheese') several times and we really like this soft cheese. I use it as a substitute for cream cheese (such as in Bree's yummy taco bake), in homemade calzones, and in dips.
Easton likes it when I use fromage blanc to make 'black pepper cheese biscuits'! These biscuits are delicious--very moist and flaky, and the pepper makes them really different.
In other dairy news, Alan thinks he saw a calf move 'in Alice's tummy' tonight! Yippeee! He's been procrastinating on getting her preg checked--I think he has been afraid she wasn't. But if she is, she should have a calf around the first of May. The downside to this is that we will be without milk through March and April for sure (and we have gotton really spoiled!) but it would be nice to have a calf, too (read 'meat' or another dairy cow down the road). Maybe the kids will get to see her calve this time!

That Same Old Battle for Women

It could be weight, it could be controlling the tongue, it could be comparing ourselves to others. . .but no, my topic for today is SUBMISSION. What a battle!

I'm slowly continuing my reading of 'Juggling Life's Responsibilities' by Anne Elliott (this is what happens when you read four or five books at once--it takes forever to finish one!). This is an easy read, and she says a lot of what we already 'know', but it's the stuff that we need reminded of. She is 'oh so right' and steps on my toes, but challenges me to walk more closely to God's best in my life.

I finished the section about our husbands. One area that really stood out to me this reading reminded me what submission is. The amplified translation of the Bible (from Ephesians 5) words it this way:

And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband--that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.

Think about each of those and examine how well you apply them. I think we so often get caught in the trap of thinking we will 'respect him when he loves me the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it' or when he 'deserves' our respect. But if we read the scriptures with an open heart, we will see it is NOT about what our husbands are doing (or not doing)--our responsibility lies in what WE are doing and not doing.

This is NOT an easy area for me--my sinful self is so strong-willed and stubborn and independent and selfish. . .(need I go on?!). But God IS faithful to complete the good work He has begun in me.

Elliott paints a picture for us of the UNSUBMISSIVE wife:

• She loves to relive her husband's failures
• She is a fearful woman (questioning attitude)
• She undermines his authority
• She calls her best friend at the first sign of a disagreement (or runs to Mom)

Ouch.

In contrast, the submissive woman allows God to teach her husband, allowing Him to change her husband on his almighty timetable. "She allows her sweet spirit to create a climate where her husband can hear God's voice, not her nagging." She trusts God to be in control of each situation and to lead her husband. She builds up his confidence because he 'will not hear encouraging words from the world around him. His coworkers will tear him down. Images he sees on television will make him feel inadequate.' (Boy, isn't that the truth!).

Does she have any practical advice for us?

You will become a refuge for him. Make his home a castle that shuts out the world's negative messages. Fill his sanctuary with laughter, hugs, smiles, and compliments. Encourage him to share his secrets, with you being a good listener. Put your book down. Turn off the TV. Scoot away from the computer. Look in his eyes and nod. Don't interrupt.

I'll just admit it right now. I struggle in this area, and these 'little' things she suggests above are difficult for me. Is it that it's almost too easy? Laughter, hugs, smiles, compliments. . .it sounds like such an easy little thing--but it's easier said than done when LIFE is going on, isn't it?! I think James Dobson rightly summarized our biggest marital problem when he said "Perhaps the fundamental problem is one of selfishness. We're so intent on satisfying our own desires that we fail to recognize the longings of our partners."

As a friend recently shared with me: "The Christian walk is really all about a struggle against self." (Or something like that! I'll edit if I totally messed it up! smile)

A final word of wisdom from Anne?

"Don't try to teach him. Don't be his mother.
Be his best friend."

Worth Reading at Any Age

We are studying the period of the Renaissance in history, so I recently preread I, Juan de Pareja by Elizabeth Trevino for the children. I couldn't help but think of CS Lewis as he said:

"A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest."

He also said:

"No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally--and often far more--worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond."

This is one of those books. It will be good for the children, but it also had several messages that made *me* think. It is first person historical fiction, based on the life of de Pareja, a slave to the famous Spanish artist Diego Velazquez, who was also an artist in his own right. I want to preserve some of the quotes and ideas that stood out to me.

This is a painting by Velazquez of his slave, Juan de Pareja.

On slavery:
"They mean no harm, they are not actively cruel, but they simply do not see. They look at a black boy and they see only a slave who is capable of doing work. They do not see what I see."
"What do you see?"
"Well, I see a person. A boy. A human being with a soul, made in God's image." (pg. 19)

"I am only a slave. . .a servant, " I complained, feeling sorry for myself.
"Who is not?" asked Brother Isidro, briskly. "Do not we all serve? In any case, we should. That is nothing to be ashamed of; it is our duty." (pg. 22)

"Now I had lived long enough and had heard enough from urchins my age and from other slaves, to distrust the person who calls himself merciful, or just, or kindly. Usually these are the most cruel, niggardly and selfish people, and slaves learn to fear the master who prefaces his remarks with tributes to his own virtues." (pg. 25)

This is a self-portrait of Velazquez.

An artist's perspective:
"Art must be true," he said. "It is the one thing in life that must rest on solid truth. Otherwise, it is worthless." (p53)

"(I must) teach you not to beautify. It is a great temptation. Art should not be Beauty. Art should be Truth; and Truth unadorned, unsentimentalized, is Beauty. You must learn this. I would rather paint exactly what I see, even if it is ugly, perfectly, than indifferently paint something superficially lovely. Art is Truth, and to serve Art, I will never deceive." (p 67)

"He lived by what entered his being through his eyes and by what he gave back from his eyes by means of his painting--not, as other people, by what they took into their mouths and gave back as conversation."
"My canvases are my conversation," he said once. (p 94)

"Ah, but I do feel emotion, strong emotion," he told me, looking with fierce intentness at the wound in a deer's throat. "But my emotion is the detached emotion of a spirit or an angel, something not of this earth. Painters are like this, I think; they train themselves to be so. We must represent the essence of what we see, with no extra strokes. Personal human emotion dare not enter in, for then the hand would tremble and one would be tempted to drop soft veils over anything painful or repulsive." (p 108)

On imprisoned souls:
"We are brothers," he (The Dwarf Francisco Lezcano, used to entertain the king) used to say to me in his strange, deep voice like a man's, "you and I, because we are enslaved by reason of the way we were born. You were born strong, a fine normal being, but black. I was born as I am, a man in the body of a little creeping child. Why did God put this burden on us, Juanico?"

"To make us humble, maybe. Our Lord was despised and rejected, you remember. He himself told us so. And He said, 'He who exalts himself shall be brought low, and he who humbles himself shall be lifted up.'" (112)

Painting by Velazquez of The Dwarf Francisco Lezcano

"For some time I resented the meticulous way Master painted these deformed and pathetic beings. He was making obeisance to the truth as he saw it. He had explained that to me often enough. And yet it seemed to me cold-blooded, even cruel. But later, when I looked at those portraits years after, I saw what he had done, and what glossing over their deformities could not have achieved. He had painted, in every case, a soul imprisoned." ( 114)

Painting by Velazquez of 'The Buffoon Calabazas' (the court idiot)

On love:
"As for me, love had come and bloomed in my heart. Lolis was not gentle and sweet like my mother, nor pitifully delicate and lovely like Miri. She was a person with her own character and with great variety in her make up. She was constantly interesting to me, and I looked forward to hearing her soft step, to listening to her wonderful deep laughter, to those occasions when she touched me or even slapped at me as she went about her work." (151)

On true friendship:
"In those days (when Velazquez had lost his beloved wife) His Majesty proved what a true friend he was to Master. Not one day went by that he did not come, and simply sit, quiet and comforting in his big silent presence, in the same room where Master was." (165)

Painting by Velazquez of King Philip IV

"I realized then that I had not yet told him (a former apprentice to Velazquez and friend of de Pareja) that I was free. Yet he had taken me in and offered me his home and his studio.
I bowed my head and thanked him.
"I will go and bring Lolis," I told him, and as I went away toward the inn I thought about Bartolome's generosity and candid comradeship. Some day, I thought, when we have finished work, and sit to take a glass of wine together--some day when our wives whispered and rocked children to sleep in the upper rooms--I would say, "Bartolome, Master Velazquez freed me. I am no longer a slave."
And he would say, "So? Good, my friend."
He would be glad for me. And I would be glad that to him it had never mattered, for his friendship was of the heart." (176)

My God is So Big

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you're bigger.
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.” - C.S. Lewis (Prince Caspian pg. 151)

Are you like me? Is God a little more amazing, a little more awesome, a little 'bigger' than He used to be?

I find this quote so interesting. I was blessed to hear about my Creator from birth, longer even than I can remember. But my perception of Him has changed so much over the years. So often, when we are little we perceive things as being really large, but as we grow, we realize they are actually much smaller than we thought. Have you gone back to your elementary school and looked at what used to be 'big' and realized how small it is? Have you seen a person that you remembered as a giant when you were little, but now find them to be average-sized--if not a little on the smaller side of average? But it doesn't work that way with God.

And one thing that stands out to me is the word 'grow'. It seems to me that if we are not growing, if we are not striving on toward perfection/maturity. . .we will not find Him bigger.

May 2010 be a year that I find God bigger. And may you find God bigger this year as well.

What's in a Name?

Yes, we know how to finish the above. . .

That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
--William Shakespeare

So that tends to imply that the name you choose for your child isn't too big of a deal, right? In the past I haven't even thought about what a name means, we just find a name that we both think 'sounds nice'. Something that fits in with our family. Something that looks good on paper, and that flows well with our last name.

But have you ever heard "words have meaning and names have power"? I read a website not long ago which shared how parents named their children by knowing the meaning of the names, and then they put together a first and middle name that MEANT something--something of character--something of a promise to their child--a standard for the child to live up to as 'who they would be'. Some examples of what a first and middle name meant include "Victorious Mountain Flower", "Gift of God of Excellent Worth", "Praised Right Hand Son".

Isn't that just beautiful? I never thought of doing anything like this. We have always thought long and hard about names (and sometimes felt like we would never agree on one!) because we know "The name of a man (can be) a numbing blow from which he never recovers." But we never thought of bestowing upon our children a vision within their name.

What sorts of standards have you used in picking a name for your child? With our boys, we have tried to pick strong, masculine-sounding names. We also don't really want our kids to have the same name half the other kids have--I'm used to being the only 'Shonya' that anyone knows--so we tend toward the more unique. To me, our boys' names have a bit of a Western feel to them. I can picture these names in western books (in fact, I got Destry's name from a Louis L'Amour book and later learned there is an old western movie called "Destry Rides Again"--which I've never seen).

For Briana, we both just liked Briana Leigh--it is pretty and feminine and we didn't think it was overly popular (although it's more popular than we would prefer). When Kiana came along, we wanted a name that fits in with her African-American heritage. We loved the sound of the name, and it rhymes with her big sister, which we though reflected her being a part of our family. Her middle name, Jayde, is a shortened version of Jayden, the name her birthmother really liked.

We are thinking about this as we are once again making that decision of what to name a child if the Lord sees fit to bring us another. According to this website, here are the meanings of my children's names to date.

Briana Leigh--noble/virtuous, strong, delicate (I know! oxymoron!)
Destry Alan--western flavor (seriously, I'm not kidding!) precious
Easton Alex--noble power, defender, warrior
Kiana Jayde--ancient precious stone, protection

Some of them have meaning to them--I especially like the meaning of Easton's name--Noble Defender. WOW! And really, I think Briana's name fits her--she is virtuous, and she is both strong and delicate. So, ok. Destry is precious to me, anyway! :) And Kiana, hmmm, she doesn't seem ancient to me. . . :) Still trying to stretch that one.

So, the names we are thinking. . .

The girl's name would mean "Precious, awakening lily"
The boy's name. . .the first name I really, really like, and so does Alan. . .means. . .are you ready for this???? "STUBBORN" !!!! Does that scare you?! It does me!!! :) But I love this name! And I haven't had a "not stubborn" child yet. . .

So, is this crazy? We are looking for a middle name that would make stubborn a good thing. Like 'Amal' which means 'labor, hard work, pure, hope'. I could take stubborn about purity, stubborn to get the work done, stubbornly holding onto hope when others have given up hope. But Amal???? hmmmmm

'Aman' means honest, faithful, trustworthy. Stubbornly honest? Stubbornly faithful? Stubbornly trustworthy? Oh yes, I'm all over that. But Aman. . .hmmmm (you might notice the other two boys have middle names beginning with A--not married to that idea, but it might be kind of neat if I could find something that fits. . .)

Then there is Justis or Justice which means just, upright, righteous. Again, stubborn goes well with these character traits.

I don't know. . .but it's fun looking! I'm starting to think a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches (Proverbs 22:1). What do your children's names mean? Were you thinking about name meanings at the time? If not, what made you pick that name? I really want to know!! Leave a comment--even you lurkers! :)

A Book for Everyone

I finished my book I was so eagerly anticipating. It is called 'Adopted for Life' by Russell Moore. Don't think, however, that this book is only for people who are adopting children. You would be wrong. This book is for you if you have adopted a child, if you think about adopting a child, if you were adopted, or if you support friends or family in adoption. This book is for you if you have been adopted by God, if you can call Jesus your Brother, if you have a church family. This book is for you if you have noticed "there seems to be an orphan-making urge among us, whether we see it in the slave culture of centuries past or the divorce culture of today" (61) and you care--if it breaks your heart when you let yourself notice and think about it.
So what is this book about?

• It teaches us to trust in God.
• It reminds us that God has adopted us so we can be called the sons of God.
• It examines the relationships of families and what the church would look like if we truly viewed one another as brothers and sisters.
• It declares that adoption is a war against the evil one who preys upon the vulnerable and that Jesus calls the church to protect them.
• It reveals, not only our identity and nature (as Gentiles) before we were called children of God, but also that the children of Israel were adopted by God.
• This book beautifully expounds on the Abba cry, that we can groan out to God as the Spirit within us helps us to understand this life is not as it should be.
• It challenges us not to be content with the status quo, not to settle for the security of the familiar.
• It admonishes us that 'a person's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions' (Luke 12:15).
• It imagines 'if Christian churches were known as the places where unwanted babies become beloved children' (79).
• It warns against pride and self-sufficiency.
• It cautions us not to base love on performance.

This book also addresses physical adoption. It shares the author's journey through infertility and the adoption of two boys from a Russian orphanage. He addresses issues such as raising both the children you've adopted and the children of the flesh. He addresses transracial adoption. He addresses the financial aspects of adoption. He shares the insensitive (even rude) comments, questions, and cautions people offer. He addresses international adoption, domestic adoption, foster care and snowflake adoption. He educates regarding open and closed adoptions and warns against disrupted adoptions.

Doesn't it sound amazing?! This book is life-changing; it is deep; it is intense. Read it if you dare.

I'll leave you with a quote I love from this book. But be forewarned--I feel more ruminations rumbling for future posts!

"All of us are called to be compassionate. All of us are called to remember the poor. All of us are called to remember the fatherless and the widows. That will look different in our different lives, with the different situations and resources God has given us. But for all of us there'll be a judgment to test the genuineness of our faith. And for some of us, there will be some orphan faces there. . .a new son or daughter who escaped the abortionist's knife or the orphanage's grip to find at your knee the grace of a carpenter's Son." (83)

Mommy Said Yes!

I find it really cute these days that Kiana will come and ask me if she can do something special like watch a movie or have a piece of bubblegum or play with play dough. When I say yes, she goes running to one of her older siblings (oh, how I love the pitter pat of her trot!) elatedly calling 'Mommy said yes! Mommy said yes!'

When she so joyfully shared this news today it made me think of II Corinthians 1:20 which says "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ." Our Father will not give us a snake when we ask for fish, nor will he give us a stone when we ask for bread (Matthew 7:7-11). Just as we want to give good gifts to our children, just as we want to say 'yes' to them whenever we think it is good for them. . .how much more does God want to do the same?

Isn't this so reassuring, to think that God not only wants what is best for us but He knows what is best for us?! He doesn't say 'no' without thinking, He doesn't say 'no' to be on a power trip, He doesn't say 'no' because He is in a bad mood. It seems to me that we can trust Him to say 'Yes' whenever it is in our best interests.

As for me, I am in your hands;
do with me whatever you think
is good and right.
Jeremiah 26:14