Right Where You Are

I reviewed the book "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris some time ago, which you may read here. I really liked the book, and was especially impressed by their message that teenagers don't have to be rebellious, wild, irresponsible, and feared; rather they can learn that life is not about them and use this time in their lives to prepare for adulthood and serve others. I appreciated the first book for the foundation and the vision.

I recently read the sequel, "Start Here", which I actually liked even more. It is more practical and seems to hone some of the ambitions and fires that might have been lit by the first book. They continue their message that "As young people, we're in the season of preparation. Our main focus during this season is to prepare for mature, effective adulthood: work, marriage, family, service to others, leadership, and ministry" (13). But they also give some excellent advice and guidance regarding the spirit in which one should do hard things in addition to just nuts and bolts of getting it done.

There were three main points that stood out to me as things that are great for teens (and even us parents!) to realize:

• It's about God, do it for Him, not self or pride or acclaim.

It can be tempting to start thinking about self and the glory we can gain by 'accomplishing' some big thing. But ultimately "we're doing hard things to glorify God and become more of who He created us to be" (6). The hard things God calls us to do are about Him, not us" (18). I especially liked the thought that it is God working through us more than it is us working for God. They said it better with "The history of David is not about what David did for God, but about what God did for David. Our humanistic dream is that we may do great things for God" (53).

• Do what is in front of you right now, don't go out creating something 'big'.

"You don't have to engineer something--you can trust Him, be faithful, and be ready for His timing" (6). Sometimes it's hard to be content with doing the "small" thing that is right in your path. One can be tempted to manufacture an opportunity that seems bigger and more productive, but the Harris brothers caution teens to "be faithful in what He's already given us to do, not embark on a big new adventure" (7). The seemingly little things will help one to grow and develop talents to prepare for the next thing that will naturally occur. "Start with a new attitude, a new heart, and a mind open to how the everyday hard things available to you right now will lead you to the next step" (9).

• Be an example, not an exception, and don't seek disapproval.

I was especially struck by this encouragement as it can be tempting to merely assume the role of being an exception to the rebellious teen stereotype--indeed, one might even be tempted to take pride in that difference. The Harris brothers remind us that "we are called by God to be examples, not exceptions. The message of the Rebelution is that all young people have the ability to accomplish far greater things than our culture would have them think. We live a different way to show our culture a better way" (62). It seems the distinction here would be in inspiring and drawing others to also live for God, not standing alone or (dare I say?) above.

This concept segued nicely into the martyr complex chistians can have about 'being different'. Just as I don't think my mission should be to be popular, neither should my mission be to alienate those who don't share my beliefs. "Jesus and the apostles did not seek the disapproval of others. . .Romans 12:18. . .We live to draw others to God. . .Am I being persecuted because I am doing something for God or because I am being a difficult person to live with? Am I holding on to my cause so tightly that I can't see how it is hurting others, or are my actions showing others who God is? Am I more interested in what God thinks of me than in whether I am popular or unpopular?" (99) I think we all have known people who say others don't like them because of lifestyle choices they are making for Christ, and you really want to say 'No, it's not WHAT you're doing, it's HOW you're doing it.'

There were many, many other excellent points in the book. They shared ideas on involving others in your vision and projects, fundraising tips, and questions to ask yourself to realize your dreams and abilities. They talked about a season of preparation and living intentionally ("Putting God at the center of our lives does not mean we live perfectly. It means we live intentionally. And it will cost us something" (66)). I'll try not to extend this review any more, but encourage you to read these books yourself as there are principles that can be applied regardless of age.

I'll leave you with one last idea, which could produce a post of its own. Sometimes we have to examine what we are doing and discern "the difference between busyness (having a lot to do) and fruitfulness (accomplishing something of eternal significance)" (55). "Even good activities might not be the best activities for a particular season of life" (57).

May I be discerning and choose the best over the good so I can be fruitful in the kingdom.

Four, Fabulous Four

We had so much fun for Easton's birthday last Saturday. I don't know if it's just his particular personality or his age, but he enjoys his birthdays so much it is contagious for the rest of us! He is the most precious little boy and I truly can't imagine our lives or our family without him. Isn't it amazing how God blesses us so much by 'setting the solitary in families'?!

I get such a kick out of this little guy. I always let the kids choose their 'birthday dinner' when grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins come to celebrate with us. He picked the easiest meal ever--ham and cheese sandwiches! He was sure his cousins would also appreciate this 'gourmet' meal, and he thought everyone was big enough to make his or her own sandwiches.It looks like cousins Isaiah and Adi agreed with his plan.He was "just a little bit" excited.He desperately wanted a train cake, preferably with Percy on it. Momma copped out and let Walmart make it. I don't know if he was excited about it or not. . .
He was, as usual, blessed with perfect gifts from the family. His joy and excitement over each thing was so precious. He would have been perfectly content for the party to be over and just leave him to play with his new toys for hours.
We couldn't resist a silly 'pin the tail on the donkey' game from Walmart for one dollar. The kids had great fun peeking through the blindfold after being spun in wild circles by crazy Uncle Alan/Dad.

Above, my nephew Isaiah and below, my nephew Nathan.

And the punching balloons were a well-received prize.Even some of the grown-ups got into the Twister game.
Kiana jumped into Twister with abandon (if not color-sense).While the children were napping, the grown-ups got into some silliness of their own by dusting off an old game of Pictionary. Here is the winning drawing that got the most hoots and giggles.
I will never again suffer through the flu without fond memories of you, my dear sister-in-law and friend, Marcy! I am so grateful for my crazy, fun, and loving family.

Destry's Violin Solo

I thought I'd post Destry's solo for those who didn't get to attend his recital this evening. I did it in two recordings so it wouldn't be so difficult to upload, so you miss part of it, but you'll get the idea. We've been so blessed with his instructor, Karen, and I've seen great improvement this year.

It's Not Just About the Baby

Something funny about adopting is that ultimately it's not about getting another child.

It's about letting go of self. It's about trusting God. It's about keeping your heart open even when it hurts. It's about stepping out when you're scared. It's about obedience. It's about holding your 'stuff'/money with a wide open hand. It's about realizing this life is just the journey--not the destination. It's about acceptance. It's about God's love. It's about personal growth.

It's so much more.

Who would have thought?!

Peace, Perfect Peace

I finished the Mark of the Lion trilogy by Francine Rivers again earlier this week. There are so many themes present in that series, and I pick up on them more each time I read the series. You sense the themes the first time you read it, but the author is not at all 'preachy' and you get pretty caught up in the story and the incredible characterization (these people are my FRIENDS, I'm telling you!). But in successive times through the series, I know what's going to happen--I am aware of the destination--and it becomes about the *journey*; it becomes about how they get there. I'm not going to ruin the storyline for you (for you truly *must* read it--chuckle), but some of the wonderful themes present include refining by fire, overcoming fear, the consequences of sin, selflessness, the heart of a servant, perseverance, love, and peace.

The main theme I'm reviewing in my mind and heart these last couple days is that of peace. Throughout the books Hadasssah and Rizpah, two female christians, are described again and again in terms of peace. Unbelievers are drawn to them because of the peace they show through trials while fellow believers are encouraged by the peace they possess. The author shows them just going about their day-to-day life and being observed by someone else who marvels at the peace in their face and longs for that peace which he himself can't seem to obtain.

I wonder, in this story of my life, if someone would look at Shonya and say she is characterized by peace? It is an admirable quality for sure, and not something which can be manufactured (read: you can't just fake it, nor can you do it of your own will). Rather, it is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and only from God can we acquire peace that is beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7).

In contrast, this life on earth is more easily characterized by turmoil, conflict, strife, stress, drama, and uncertainty. Some even seem to thrive on drama, whether they create it or are drawn to it. We are more likely to see someone and describe them as harried than we are to marvel at their peace or serenity.

I certainly go to God with issues in my life, and I am secure in His arms. But I have to admit I can't always say I rest in His arms. Sometimes I lie there fitfully, tossing restlessly when I just can't (won't?) let go of something. Sometimes I am like the recalcitrant child you try to rock to sleep and they just won't lie still so you finally have to give them a little swat, tell them to lie still, and then hold them closely and firmly until they finally give in, relax, and go to sleep. Because you know they just need to go to sleep, you know they need to trust you, you know what is best for them. Hmmmm. . .have you ever had a swat from the Lord when you refused to rest in His arms??

"Taste and see that the Lord is good," Psalm 34:8 says and later in verse 14 "depart from evil and do good; seek peace, and pursue it." I love this entire psalm, but am especially struck today by the command to seek and pursue peace. I wonder what that looks like? We really can't claim peace when peace is not there as Jeremiah illustrates with "They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace" (6:14).

I'm talking about true peace, the peace that comes when the mind is controlled by the Spirit.

Wagon Wheels A Rollin'

I'm really behind here, but I want to post a few pictures from the kids' drama production which was performed April 30 and May 1. The play was set on the Santa Fe Trail, it was a melodrama, so the general plot involved a villain trying to take advantage of unsuspecting pioneers while the hapless hero and innocent heroine save the day.
Alan took to the stage for the first time since high school as the Master of Ceremonies.Briana played the part of a townswoman in a small town along the trail. She prods her dimwitted brother into running as mayor while despairing that women were not allowed to serve in such a capacity.

Destry played the part of 'Wild Bill Hiccup', sidekick to the hero, Chuck Wagon.
I am especially thankful to LaRoyce Allemang, the director of the drama team. She is so patient with the children, and incredibly creative. She incorporated several dances and short songs which really added a lot to the script.

Destry sang a short solo,


and Briana and her fellow feminist townswomen belted out the Sister Suffragettes song from Mary Poppins.



It was a great show, highly entertaining, and I can't wait to get my copy of the dvd to watch it again. The entire cast did an outstanding job!!

A Quick Update

Just so you don't think I've dropped off the face of the earth, here is a summary of the past couple weeks in our adoption journey (aka, the Crazy Roller Coaster Ride). . .

1) It looked, for a couple days, like La Cara herself had dropped off the face of the earth, and her baby (born April 21) was going to be placed in our home as a foster situation until she would be available for adoption. But after those two days were up (read multiple phone conversations with social worker and lawyer, many prayers, much discussion and hope) LaCara showed up and is now working with the state to obtain custody of her daughter.

2) Then on May 9, a little girl was born in Dallas, TX and her birthmother decided to make an adoption plan. We spent three hours thinking there was a strong possibility we would be hopping the earliest plane. During this time I was busy discussing with adoption workers, emailing information about our family, pictures, link to our photo booklet, checking flight departures, and wondering if I should pack a bag while praying the entire time. But this birthmother chose another couple to parent her baby. My understanding is that these people are believers, have struggled with infertility, have no other children, and have been waiting for quite a long time to be chosen to parent. So, I'm peaceful that God's will has been done. (But it's still a roller coaster ride!)

In a nutshell, then,

• "You might need to go to Kansas City to get a baby whose birthmother has abandoned her",
• "oh wait, if the birthmother shows back up, this would just be a foster situation and you would have to turn her back over"
• "Ok, you're willing to serve the Lord providing this child with a temporary home"
• "oh, nevermind, we received a call from her today"
• "no birthmothers seeking parents for their baby"
• "Hey, we have a birthmother who delivered yesterday, are you interested in being presented?"
  
• "I think you have a really strong possibility of being chosen because we don't have very many families willing to adopt an AA baby--you'd better start checking flights to see how soon you can get to Dallas"
• "Quickly send a paragraph describing your family with a family photo--we're headed to the hospital to present families right now"
• "The birthmother has chosen another couple to parent her baby"
• "We have no other situations right now"

Phew!! Something I am finding interesting in the journey this time: they are all girls. Isn't that interesting??? So, do you suppose we will one day have another girl? Or is it actually going to be a boy and that's why none of these girl situations are working out?? I have two boys and two girls so far and love them all. . .we'll see what the next twist and turn will be in this ride.