MIA

Isn't summer supposed to be a time of relaxation?  Isn't it supposed to be a leisurely time when one does what they want to do (such as read books, reflect, and write)?

Somehow my summer missed that memo.  And here it is AUGUST!  I haven't written a post in six weeks!  I was thinking it's time to let the blog go, but then a friend asked for book recommendations and I was able to send links to some book reviews on my blog.  And then another friend wanted to start a group to do freezer cooking and I was able to send her to some of my posts with tips and recipes.  And then I realized how fun it is to have these records. . .so I'm thinking I'll try to get back into the routine.  We'll see how it goes, especially as school will soon be resuming.

Aryana is sleeping much better now.  She is an extremely busy 15-month-old, but she's starting to learn what's okay and what's not--and I'm not so tired exhausted as I had been for the last. . .what seems like the last entire year.

So, I'll try to share a few book reviews this week, and maybe a couple posts about some of the highlights of our summer, and we'll see if I can get back into blogging a little bit.

Same Kind of Different as Me

Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall

This is a story chronicling the spiritual growth of an upper-class White couple while paralleling the life of an extremely poor and uneducated Black man through the intersection of their lives.  I don't listen to many books on tape (I'm more of a visual learner than auditory), so it took me awhile to get a solid block of time to get the whole story, but I really appreciated the voices of the narrators--they made the story come more to life for me.  A few things stood out to me:

1) "Catch and release friendship"--Denver told Ron he only wanted to be friends if they would always be friends--he didn't want a "catch and release friendship".  I liked this idea and tend to be that way myself.

2)  Deborah's line when she was diagnosed with just days to live "How do you live the rest of your life in just a few days?"  Wow!  Stop and think about that one!

3)  I loved the end and the sentiments that we are all just pilgrims here, we all have our citizenship in heaven.  Regardless of race, socio-economic status, homeless or mansion none of us will live here forever.

Thanks for passing this one my way, Misti!

Serving Alongside Our Husbands

The Pastor's Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love by Gloria Furman

I received this book free as a "thank you" for reviewing another of Furman's books.  Overall, I actually rather enjoyed it.  It's written to "the pastor's wife", but really we are all ministers of the gospel and all wives ideally are "suitable helpers" for their husbands as they serve the Lord, so I think her thoughts are applicable to any christian woman desiring the serve the Lord by serving her husband, family, church, and community.

In the interests of full disclosure, there were two sections I completely disagreed with, and one scripture I think was quite taken out of context and misapplied.  One must always check man's (or woman's) words against the Word of God.

My favorite section was about using our gifts.  I think she really nailed this idea, as I often hear so much focus on WHAT an individual's gifts are as the most important idea, but she pointed out that the real focus should be on WHO we serve with our gifts and WHO is glorified in the use of gifts (I Peter 4:10-11).  Gifts are *received*, we don't get any glory for the gifts we have, and they are given in order to be *used* to *serve others* SO THAT God is glorified.  I marked two and a half whole pages because they were so well-said.  Ultimately, "I have every reason to humbly submit to him and look to his hand with the happy expectation that he will give me things to do that he wants me to do and a way to do them so that he gets the glory" (127).

I also liked her commentary on people idolizing gifts.  "What activity, if it were taken from you, would devastate you?  You know that a ministry opportunity is greater to you than Jesus if, when it is taken, hindered, or altered, you feel rattled, wrecked, preoccupied, anxious, insecure, insignificant, ignored, angry, sad, betrayed, or distraught.  You would see no reason to be disturbed over the loss of that privilege to serve Jesus unless you had given it more value in your eyes than the pleasure of knowing Christ Jesus your Lord" (45)

Great Expectations

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

Good ole Dickens!  You have to have your brain engaged to read his sentences, but wow, could he ever write!

I had made it through both high school and college (and these 20 years since) without ever having read this work, but enjoyed reading it with Destry for his literature class.  Really it was a great book to read with a young man completing his junior year as the book was all about character.  Are you the same person regardless of who you're around?  Are you the same person whether you have money or you don't? Will you take responsibility for your actions, or blame consequences on someone else?  Are you willing to work and work hard at honest work to make a living, or do you hope to get something for nothing?  Will you give attention to the pretty girl with a cold heart or to the kind, compassionate girl with a servant's heart?  Do you appreciate and respect those who have always been there for you through thick and thin, sacrificing on your behalf, or do you take them for granted and discard them as unimportant?

I think it's funny that Destry and I both laughed aloud at Pip's instructions in etiquette and individually shared the passage with Briana.  Pip and his friend are visiting over a meal and his friend periodically interrupts the discourse with instructions such as:

"Let me mention that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth--for fear of accidents--and that while the fork is reserved for that use, it is not put further in than necessary.  It is scarcely worth mentioning, only it's as well to do as other people do.  Also, the spoon is not generally used overhand, but under.  This has two advantages.  You get at your mouth better (which after all is the object), and you save a good deal of the attitude of opening oysters, on the part of the right elbow". . .and later. . . "Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious ni emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose" (544).

We especially enjoyed discussing two themes present in the book.  First we discussed methods of helping another financially.  One character received a gift of money with no instructions whatsoever, while another was anonymously provided with an investor to create a job.  The first squandered his gift and even overspent it, compiling debt while the latter was a wise steward.

We also noticed that the happiest characters in the story had a couple things in common--they accepted who they were and were content with their station in the world.  The discontent characters, on the other hand, were always seeking "great expectations" for a more prosperous future and higher social status.

I love reading great literature with my children and mining the nuggets we can apply to our lives.  Now it's time to compile our literature goals for next school year.

Fun Interviews

I participated in this little Facebook meme and the kids' answers were so fun, I want to save them.  It's really tempting to insert commentary, but I'm going to refrain.

Directions:
WITHOUT ANY prompting, ask your child and write down EXACTLY what they say. It is a great way to find out what they really think.

Easton--9, Kiana--7, Tyrell--4

1. What is something mom always says to you? E--Stop yelling, K--Do your school, T--Give me a hug

2. What makes mom happy? T--bring you flowers and kisses, E--get you a Pepsi, K--pop some popcorn for you
3. What makes mom sad? K--if I would die, E--when your leg hurts, T--If I did a bad thing
4. How does your mom make you laugh? (In unison--ha, ha, ha)--BY TICKLING
5. What was your mom like as a child? E--naughty, K--kind of good, T--I think you were good
6. How old is your mom? T--41 (wow, they all knew how old I am!)
7. How tall is your mom? T--about 15 feet, K--I think you're short, E--I think you're like 4 feet 11
8. What is her favorite thing to do? E--tickle or eat ice cream, K--cook, T--probably. . .go to the zoo
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? E--do fun stuff, K--buy us presents, T--lay on the couch and go to sleep or type on the computer
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? K--A ROCK STAR!!, E--your cooking, T--dancing at a party
11. What is your mom really good at? K--cooking!, T--typing and making supper, E--reading
12. What is your mom not very good at? K--making pancakes, E--running, T--doing cartwheels and headstands
13. What does your mom do for a job? E--school, and take care of us and cook some stuff, T--you just sit around and do nothing, K--watch over us
14.What is your mom's favorite food? E--ice cream, T--mushrooms and canadian bacon pizza, K--crab rangoon
15.What makes you proud of your mom? E--her cooking, K--by you loving us, T--when you hug us and kiss us
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? K--Elsa, E--the Grinch, T--Little Red Riding Hood
17. What do you and your mom do together? K--cook, E--fun crafts, T--hug each other, give bear hugs, read books
18. How are you and your mom the same? E--we both like reading, K--we both like ice cream, T--we both have brown eyes
19. How are you and your mom different? K--my skin is sandy beach and yours is white, E--I like pickles and you don't, T--my skin is brown and yours is white
20. How do you know your mom loves you? K--because she tells me!, E--because you buys us ice cream, T--because she knows my heart
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? E--because he's handsome, K-because he gives you kisses (which is Guh-ROSS!), T--he hugs you and kisses you and takes care of you
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? E--Cardinal Corner, T--New York to see Misti, K--to your mom's house
23. How old was your Mom when you were born? T--1, K--40, E--33

A Few Recently-Read, Easy Fiction Books

The Coffin Quilt: The Feud Between the Hatfields and the McCoys by Ann Rinaldi

The Coffin Quilt was an interesting take on the Hatfield and McCoy feud told from the perspective of Fanny, the youngest of the 14 McCoy children.  It was a quick, easy read for our first day of summer break while the kids played and I had some back issues getting me down.

I enjoyed the colloquialisms scattered throughout the story such as:
--"Don't ever be pushed into a promise.  Say you'll study on it." (86)
--"made everybody nervous as an ugly girl at a box-supper auction" (143)

I thought it was interesting to ponder the ways the different siblings reacted to the feuding.  Some jumped right in, others thought they could make an alliance to end it, while another group retreated into denial, and still others literally physically escaped, leaving behind the observations that "They like it, Fanny, all the fighting.  Get away.  Stay out of it, Fanny, do.  Or it'll destroy you.  I love Ma and Pa, but they're crazy.  This whole family is" (171).

I also thought it was interesting to consider the idea of someone being "overly religious" and "preaching prayer instead of action" to the detriment of the family.  "The things we don't do are just as bad as the things we do in this life.  It can drive you pure daft, if you think about it."

It wasn't a wonderful book, but I liked it fine for a little break.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman


This book was just fun--a quick, easy, fantastical read.  My favorite part was his use of parenthetical statements that made me laugh.  It was ridiculous, and I was ready for it to be over, but it was fun while it lasted.  I'm looking forward to seeing the movie.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

I thought this was a very clever idea--to take several (strange) old photographs and let them inspire a fantastical story about "peculiar" children with varied gifts and the monsters who seek them.

It enjoyed this book for a relaxing Saturday afternoon escape and think I shall try to read its sequel.

The Invisible Thread

An Invisible Thread: The True Story of an 11-Year-Old Panhandler, a Busy Sales Executive, and an Unlikely Meeting with Destiny by Laura Schroff

I found this account of a friendship between a successful white, female, business executive and a poor, black, little boy fascinating.

I think I was most affected by the way their friendship opened up whole new worlds to both of them.  When Laura went to visit Maurice's home, she was utterly shocked at the standard of living--she "had crossed into a world" she never knew existed (53).  Similarly, when Maurice went to visit Laura's sister and family, he "couldn't believe people sat around and just talked to one another over dinner"--they sat around a big table loaded with plenty of food and enjoyed one another's company without drama.  After Laura gave him a Christmas experience, Maurice said "Kids like me--we know everything that's going on out there.  We see it on TV.  But we're always on the outside looking in.  We know about stuff like Christmas, but kids like me, we know we can never have it for ourselves, so we don't think about it" (126).  And when he reflected back over his life, his childhood compared to how he parents his children now, Maurice summarized "I met you, and that's when I realized there was another way" (224).

I think we're all pretty narrow-minded, familiar with the sort of life we ourselves have and unable to step outside the box of our own experiences and ways of thinking.  It's only by engaging with other people (and reading!) that we can have our minds and lives opened and I was impressed at the way both Laura and Maurice were willing to expand their hearts and thus their horizons.

A few other thoughts prompted by reading this book:
--It made me want to learn more about the "war on drugs", the advent of crack in NYC in the 80s, and the effects this epidemic has had, particularly on black men.  (on my list:  Chasing the Scream)
--I found it interesting that Laura, too, had a difficult childhood with an abusive, alcoholic father.  I wonder if that's part of the reason she was able to connect with Maurice.  Sometimes our hard times, our "brokenness", is what provides room for a connection with others.
--I loved reading about all the ways now-adult Maurice serves others, from mentoring children in community youth groups to starting a volunteer group that helps disadvantaged kids to initiating a "prison-to-college" pipeline after reading that there were more black men in prison than in college.  It is so inspiring to see him "paying it forward"--after he had his eyes opened to a different way of living, he wants to open the eyes of others as well.
--Truthfully, I didn't always like the narrator's voice. There was a little bit of a "savior complex" in her tone, but I guess that's just the nature of the dichotomy between their lives.  I did appreciate that she recognized many things she received from him and their relationship--gratitude, contentment, what it means to be a friend, the strength that comes from overcoming adversity. (219)