So Long Insecurity

I didn't really want to read this book. Some friends wanted to get together and do the study that goes along with the book, however, so I decided to go ahead and read it. Having said that, Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity is actually pretty good for what it is.
The fact is, everyone wants approval and affirmation. I had two phone calls today that drove home that very fact. Some people will go to great extremes to try to gain approval while others go to great extremes to avoid letting others know of their struggles for fear of being considered a "failure". I wonder how much our upbringing affects this struggle with security. Do those who were affirmed by their parents become addicted to a need for approval, or does the fact that they got what they needed in their formative years free them from seeking it throughout their lives? As I'm in the midst of this parenting journey, I really wonder what role I play in mu children's future security. Ultimately, of course, we must simply find our confidence and security in God.

I agreed with several of Beth's points as she defined insecurity. "All it takes to be chronically self-conscious is to be chronically conscious of self. It's acute self-awareness and a preoccupation with self, no matter how it's externalized in life" (22). Several years ago a friend told me that insecurity and shyness are really just manifestations of pride, and that thought has stuck with me and shaped my perception. Beth reiterated this as an underlying source of insecurity since the person who is critical of herself and comparing herself to others, is ultimately just focusing on self which is pride. "Human nature dictates that most often we will be as insecure as we are self-absorbed" (309). Instead, she teaches women to "stop affirming and reaffirming to ourselves how inferior we are. It's extremely unhealthy, and in reality, it's the furthest thing from God's concept of humility" (97).

"We really can regain confidence without stirring up arrogance. Pride lives on the defensive against anyone and anything that tries to subtract from its self-sustained worth. Confidence, on the other hand, is driven by the certainty of God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away" (104).

She also cited instability in the home, significant loss, rejection, dramatic change, personal limitations, personal disposition, and our culture's pressures on women as sources of insecurity. In contrast, she encouraged the reader to be "clothed with strength and dignity" (Proverbs 31:25)

I was surprised at how much she found to say about insecurity. She addressed our perceptions of men and their perceptions of women, based on a survey she conducted. She talked about the effects insecurity has on us, on those around us, and on our testimony. She examined how insecurity affects relationships such as friendship and marriage and how we have the power to choose security. My favorite sections were at the end as she counseled the reader to look beyond ourselves to serving others and to place complete trust in God and thus gain the side effect of more confidence.

"I used to think that the essence of trusting God was trusting that He wouldn't allow my fears to become realities. Without realizing it, I mostly trusted God to do what I told Him. . .(we need to) drop the conditions off of our trust and determine that God will take care of us no matter what" (325). "These days I far less often pray, 'Lord, I trust you to. . .' I simply try to say over and over again, 'Lord, I trust You. Period.'" (328).

When our confidence is in the Lord and we realize that we are made in His image, we are able to grow past the immaturity of self-absorption and insecurity and live our lives in service to God rather than wallowing in ourselves. Overall, I would recommend this book to women who are struggling with the topic.

"The Lord gives his people strength;
the Lord grants his people security."
Psalm 29:11, NET

"He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."
Psalm 112:7-8

"The Lord is your security.
He will keep your foot
from being caught in a trap."
Proverbs 3:26, NLT