In Their Siblings' Voices

In Their Siblings' Voices: White Non-Adopted Siblings Talk about Their Experiences Being Raised with Black and Biracial Brothers and Sisters by Rita James Simon

I found this book very interesting.  I have wondered what our two oldest (biological) children would say 20 years down the road about us having adopted their younger siblings, so this peek into the thoughts of men and women whose parents adopted black siblings intrigued me.

There are many who take the stance that white people should not adopt black children because they are unable to teach them how to survive in a racist society nor can they help them retain their black identity.  Some black people even say transracial adoption is a form of genocide as it is a "creation of a race of children with African faces and European minds" (12).  The authors of this book have set out to interview adult transracial adoptees, their adoptive parents, and their siblings to see what effect transracial adoption has had on their lives.  For the most part the responses were positive, with most participants saying both black and white members of the families were more comfortable across racial lines than people whose lives have not been touched by adoption.

One thing that stood out to me was the importance of not trying to be "colorblind".  Saying we don't see color, or don't even see our son or daughter as a black person, really robs our children of the opportunity to fully embrace their full identity and heritage.  Being black is not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of--we needn't whisper the word or be uncomfortable with this aspect of who they are.  I was glad to read this as it's given me words to articulate my thoughts when someone says something like "I don't even see him/her as black anymore--they're just (their name)."   As one adoptive sister summarized "I don't think "color-blind" is the goal and I don't think it's realistic either.  I don't think it is true that you don't see their color.  Certainly you get beyond the point where their color is their most salient characteristic and you see just simply who they are and the person who you love, but race is always there.  It isn't something we should pretend isn't there" (166).

I was also glad to read how open-minded the siblings were as a result of growing up in a home with adopted siblings.  Several of them expressed an interest in knowing all kinds of people rather than isolating themselves from people who are different from them.  "I'm around me twenty-four hours a day, you know what I mean?  I don't need to be around me, I need to be around people who are different than I am" (68).

There are two other books in this series and I look forward to reading them.