In Search of a Help Meet

In Search Of A Help Meet: A Guide for Men Looking for the Right One by Michael Pearl

I was pleasantly surprised.

A friend loaned this book to me and I have now ordered a copy for Destry.  I like Pearl's blunt voice, although sometimes he is a little crude and that raises my eyebrows in surprise (really?  horny?  a married woman dressing "fit-to-be-bred"?  It didn't offend me, and I really don't think I'm a prude, it just surprised me a little. It seems like there was another one that raised my eyebrows, but I'm not remembering it now.).  Overall, however, I think his "command man", to-the-point voice is appropriate for young men.  It seems men can say things to other men that women just can't get away with.  I even like the way he occasionally said things to the effect that he's wasting his words on many of the young men out there who won't have their priorities straight.  I think it could make a young man determine not to be one of the "punks" that Pearl is writing off.

I really like the way he counsels a young man in seeking a wife.  He encourages him to seek the Lord first, to seek many counselors, and ultimately to accept responsibility to love the one he chooses.  He realizes that anyone else arranging a marriage is just not as likely to work.  I like the way he reminds a young man that he is not perfect himself, and he is likely to attract a girl of a similar standard (so work on yourself and your relationship with the Lord first).

I think my favorite aspect of the book is the "time to consider" at the end of each chapter.  I'm hoping Destry will take these seriously.  I also found it interesting that it includes a Bible study for a young man to lead a prospective wife through at the end.

His thoughts on divorce are particularly good.  Sadly, some of his commentary brought specific couples to my mind, particularly the following:  "Divorce never just happens; it comes in increments, daily making decisions to love one's self and protect one's pride rather than love as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. . .(that couple) has been actively hating each other, baiting each other, and living so as to cause grief instead of glory" (138).

Alan has started this and is planning to read it with Destry, and I have to admit I am looking forward to some of the conversations even Alan and I will have from the topics in the book.