Jeff shared a lesson last week that just keeps swirling around in my mind. It's so amazing to me when someone brings a lesson that seems to be geared just for me.
He started in Matthew 13:53-58 talking about how Jesus didn't do many miracles in his hometown because of the people's unbelief. "So, is there a difference between saying you believe," he asked us, "and believing--every day, in every aspect of your life. Do we actively practice belief as a verb?"
He then continued on to visit the stories of Elisha and the widow (II Kings 4:1-7) and Naaman (II Kings 5:1-14). If you aren't familiar with these passages, take a few minutes to read them and you will be blessed. Jeff basically pointed out that the widow and Naaman had to ACT upon their belief in order for God to work in their lives and if we aren't living our lives like we *believe*, it might be possible that we are quenching the Spirit and preventing God's work in our lives.
This lesson came at just the right time for me in our adoption journey. I shared earlier that I've been plagued by fears of rejection and the cost involved, but hearing this lesson made me ask myself if I *believe* God. Sometimes I get caught up in myself and my pride--I have these little qualifiers about how we might not be chosen again and I'm not going around telling too many people we're hoping to adopt another child "just in case". . .just in case what, you ask? Well, let's face it, just in case it doesn't happen because then I would look like an idiot.
Risk looking like an idiot. . .you know, sort of like the poverty-stricken widow, faced with selling her sons into slavery to pay off her bills--but she went around to her neighbors asking to borrow empty jars. Imagine this with me for just a moment. She is broke and has only a little oil, but God (through Elisha) tells her to go borrow empty jars (not just a few!!!) and then pour her little bit of oil into all the jars. Talk about opening yourself up to look like an idiot. Can't you just see the people loaning her a jar, then watching through the window as she walks up to another house to borrow ANOTHER jar? "What does she think she's doing? What is she going to put in them? She doesn't *have* anything to put in them! She has really lost it now!!"
But God, our ever merciful and faithful God, multiplied that oil and she filled every single jar (don't you wonder if she wished she had gathered MORE jars?! would I have had the faith to gather LOTS of jars, or would I have just done 'the bare minimum' to get by?!) so she was able to pay off her debts and live off what was left.
And then there's Naaman--rich, powerful Naaman, suffering from leprosy, hypothetically willing to do whatever big and complicated thing Elisha asked in order to be healed. But wash seven times in the Jordan River? Ummmm. . .people are going to think I'm really strange--and besides, that river is DIRTY! The king of Israel certainly didn't believe--he was afraid Elisha's failure would bring war to his doorstep. But when Naaman humbled himself to believe and act upon that belief, God healed him.
So how are we living--as though we believe--really, really believe in every circumstance, and not as though 'we believed' at some point in the past? It reminds me of an analogy in the movie, "Facing the Giants". If two farmers pray for rain during a drought, and one goes out to plow his field, which one believes God is going to send rain? Yes, that's right--the one who risked looking like an idiot--the one who acted on his faith--the one who got ready for God's blessing.
God commanded the widow to borrow jars, He commanded Naaman to wash seven times in the Jordan River, and He has commanded me to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction and keep myself unspotted from the world (James 1:27). So, as I step out in faith to obey His directive, I borrow the prayer of the boy's father (Mark 9:17-24) and ask that the Lord increase my small faith and open my life for Him to work and shower blessings upon our family.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Mama Bird
I really should have taken before and after pictures. But many of you have been to my house before, so you know! :)
Here is my computer desk--it looks completely different without papers piled all over it. My sweet sil, Marcy, came down this week and we spent two days organizing my house.
I am one of the worst people at 'piling' you will ever meet (my Mom beats me. . .I don't know who else!) Working with Marcy showed me, once again, that people just think differently. I had all this stuff I just didn't know where its home should be. So I would ask her, and she would just KNOW the perfect place--that made absolute sense after she said it! (I think she thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't know it belonged there! LOL--she managed not to say 'duh', but I think she might have thought it a time or two!)
My homeschool cabinet had been taken over by preschool stuff, which is now moved to this darling little cube cabinet. I just love how this looks in my living room! And notice the shelf right above it--no longer piled with medicine for little ones, papers, a skate for Briana's doll. . .
This is the spot under the aquarium which was a catch-all area--always a mess!
And check out these clean surfaces!!! These areas are usually piled with stuff that I don't know where else to put it!
Marcy thinks a baby is coming soon--she says I'm nesting. I'm afraid to count on it, but it made the job a little more exciting!!!
Here is my computer desk--it looks completely different without papers piled all over it. My sweet sil, Marcy, came down this week and we spent two days organizing my house.I am one of the worst people at 'piling' you will ever meet (my Mom beats me. . .I don't know who else!) Working with Marcy showed me, once again, that people just think differently. I had all this stuff I just didn't know where its home should be. So I would ask her, and she would just KNOW the perfect place--that made absolute sense after she said it! (I think she thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't know it belonged there! LOL--she managed not to say 'duh', but I think she might have thought it a time or two!)
My homeschool cabinet had been taken over by preschool stuff, which is now moved to this darling little cube cabinet. I just love how this looks in my living room! And notice the shelf right above it--no longer piled with medicine for little ones, papers, a skate for Briana's doll. . .
This is the spot under the aquarium which was a catch-all area--always a mess!
And check out these clean surfaces!!! These areas are usually piled with stuff that I don't know where else to put it!
Marcy thinks a baby is coming soon--she says I'm nesting. I'm afraid to count on it, but it made the job a little more exciting!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
When I Was Thirteen
Have you ever wondered what your 13-year-old self would think of who you are today?
While reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God the other day, I came across this sentence: "This was not what I'd imagined my life would be like back when I was a carefree 17-year-old, traveling by my father's side and eagerly filling journal pages with my reflections, dreaming of my future life as a wife and mother" (pg 143).
It made me think of movies like 'The Kid' and '13 Going on 30'. The premise of the first movie was Bruce Willis's character meeting his younger self who was shocked that at his age he was neither married, nor had a dog, and was basically a big loser (albeit a rich and successful man by the world's standards). And in the second movie, the teen girl wakes up one morning as an adult to find she is gorgeous, popular, and successful beyond her wildest dreams. . .then realizes it was gained at the expense of true friends and her integrity.
So, what would the 8th grade Shonya think of me now? I wonder. . .she might think I'm a little weird, that I have a good-looking husband. . .giggle. I have to admit my priorities and thoughts have changed a lot since then, but I truly think it's been for the better. I'm not who I thought I would be in a lot of ways, for sure. What would your middle school self think of you now?
While reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God the other day, I came across this sentence: "This was not what I'd imagined my life would be like back when I was a carefree 17-year-old, traveling by my father's side and eagerly filling journal pages with my reflections, dreaming of my future life as a wife and mother" (pg 143).
It made me think of movies like 'The Kid' and '13 Going on 30'. The premise of the first movie was Bruce Willis's character meeting his younger self who was shocked that at his age he was neither married, nor had a dog, and was basically a big loser (albeit a rich and successful man by the world's standards). And in the second movie, the teen girl wakes up one morning as an adult to find she is gorgeous, popular, and successful beyond her wildest dreams. . .then realizes it was gained at the expense of true friends and her integrity.
So, what would the 8th grade Shonya think of me now? I wonder. . .she might think I'm a little weird, that I have a good-looking husband. . .giggle. I have to admit my priorities and thoughts have changed a lot since then, but I truly think it's been for the better. I'm not who I thought I would be in a lot of ways, for sure. What would your middle school self think of you now?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I Can Do It!
My little Easton is three. He can do lots of things, all by himself. He is big now, you know. "Don't help me Mommy, I can do it!" We all know how much he loves PB&J and that he requests it every single day. Well, now he can even make the sandwich himself! What am I needed for anymore, may I ask?!
First you take the peanuts and you smash'em, you smash 'em. . .oh wait, that's an old song isn't it?! Notice how important this job is, and how very, very carefully he works.
At one point, the tongue was out, but I missed that shot. He didn't need any help at all--the wooden cutting board was pulled out of the cabinets, the sanitary one made his work table. . .he had it all under control.
One must get the pb on the knife just so. . .
And then, when you have enough pb and are ready for the jelly, everyone knows you lick the excess pb from the knife! Isn't that what you do??? He put the jelly on each piece of bread with a spoon and folded them in half to make two half sandwiches.
Look at those eyes sparkling!! I'm sure it was the best PB&J he's ever had in his life--because HE made it!
It's a balance, though, isn't it? Independence is a good thing. . .to a point. We want to be independent, to stand up for ourselves and be responsible, yet we must be *dependent* on God and never get too 'big for our britches' to accept His help, seek His counsel, and do things His way. I tend to err on the 'independent' side of things, and then He gently reminds me of my limitations. . .but always oh, so gently and with compassion. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he *remembers* that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14 (Isn't that amazing?!)
First you take the peanuts and you smash'em, you smash 'em. . .oh wait, that's an old song isn't it?! Notice how important this job is, and how very, very carefully he works.
At one point, the tongue was out, but I missed that shot. He didn't need any help at all--the wooden cutting board was pulled out of the cabinets, the sanitary one made his work table. . .he had it all under control.
One must get the pb on the knife just so. . .
And then, when you have enough pb and are ready for the jelly, everyone knows you lick the excess pb from the knife! Isn't that what you do??? He put the jelly on each piece of bread with a spoon and folded them in half to make two half sandwiches.
It's a balance, though, isn't it? Independence is a good thing. . .to a point. We want to be independent, to stand up for ourselves and be responsible, yet we must be *dependent* on God and never get too 'big for our britches' to accept His help, seek His counsel, and do things His way. I tend to err on the 'independent' side of things, and then He gently reminds me of my limitations. . .but always oh, so gently and with compassion. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he *remembers* that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14 (Isn't that amazing?!)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wise Beyond Her Years
Briana (my 13 yod) and I went to town tonight to run some errands and have supper together. We try to have a private Bible study and 'mother/daughter' time once a month (but hadn't done this since June 6!!!) I love this time with her, and am constantly amazed at the perception this young lady has. I am trying to stay 'one step ahead of her', but I'm not sure I always succeed (or that I fake it very well!!!!)
Tonight we were studying about forgiveness and talking about issues surrounding this subject. Now, she has had the opportunity to practice the art of forgiveness with her mother many times. She is very sensitive, easily gets her feelings hurt, and I am. . .well, too quick with my tongue and more easily frustrated (and irritated) than I should be. She is my firstborn, and I tend to expect a lot out of her.
As we were talking about these things, she told me she is glad I have sometimes hurt her feelings and not shown more self-control, because it has helped her learn to get over being so sensitive and given her the opportunity to learn how to forgive. She pointed out that if she were allowed to have 'thin skin' and be easily offended, and I were somehow a perfect parent who handled every situation with grace and loving patience (HA!), she would be living in a little bubble which would someday be cruelly popped.
WOW!!! She never ceases to amaze me. It made me think of the concept that our marriages are a useful tool to 'conform us into the image of Christ' (as per Romans 8:29) if we will just rise to the occasion and opportunity. When our spouse hurts us, we can learn forgiveness, like Christ. When our spouse embarrasses us, we learn to be more humble, like Christ. When our spouse is demanding, we learn to be more giving, like Christ. When our spouse is crabby, we learn to be more patient, like Christ. You get the idea.
But who would have thought that as a parent, I am a tool to drive my daughter to the cross, conforming her into the image of the Son, because of my many weaknesses?! I guess I could handle being a tool, but couldn't I be a sharp one, deftly handled? Instead, I am a dull tool, clumsily and painfully carving away.
Dear Lord, please protect my precious daughter physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and preserve her tender heart for your service. Please forgive me for losing self-control and lashing out with my tongue when my selfishness leads to frustration and irritation. Please use me as an EFFECTIVE tool to shape her into the woman you want her to become. I thank you and praise you for her being in my life and the many, many lessons you have taught me through her. Thank you for your Son, and for caring enough about each of us to want to conform us into His image. Through His name I offer this prayer, Amen.
Tonight we were studying about forgiveness and talking about issues surrounding this subject. Now, she has had the opportunity to practice the art of forgiveness with her mother many times. She is very sensitive, easily gets her feelings hurt, and I am. . .well, too quick with my tongue and more easily frustrated (and irritated) than I should be. She is my firstborn, and I tend to expect a lot out of her.As we were talking about these things, she told me she is glad I have sometimes hurt her feelings and not shown more self-control, because it has helped her learn to get over being so sensitive and given her the opportunity to learn how to forgive. She pointed out that if she were allowed to have 'thin skin' and be easily offended, and I were somehow a perfect parent who handled every situation with grace and loving patience (HA!), she would be living in a little bubble which would someday be cruelly popped.
WOW!!! She never ceases to amaze me. It made me think of the concept that our marriages are a useful tool to 'conform us into the image of Christ' (as per Romans 8:29) if we will just rise to the occasion and opportunity. When our spouse hurts us, we can learn forgiveness, like Christ. When our spouse embarrasses us, we learn to be more humble, like Christ. When our spouse is demanding, we learn to be more giving, like Christ. When our spouse is crabby, we learn to be more patient, like Christ. You get the idea.
But who would have thought that as a parent, I am a tool to drive my daughter to the cross, conforming her into the image of the Son, because of my many weaknesses?! I guess I could handle being a tool, but couldn't I be a sharp one, deftly handled? Instead, I am a dull tool, clumsily and painfully carving away.
Dear Lord, please protect my precious daughter physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and preserve her tender heart for your service. Please forgive me for losing self-control and lashing out with my tongue when my selfishness leads to frustration and irritation. Please use me as an EFFECTIVE tool to shape her into the woman you want her to become. I thank you and praise you for her being in my life and the many, many lessons you have taught me through her. Thank you for your Son, and for caring enough about each of us to want to conform us into His image. Through His name I offer this prayer, Amen.
Monday, August 24, 2009
It Was a Good Day
Phew, I'm tired, but it was a good day. We usually start school after the 4th of July, in a fun, low-key, "take a day off whenever there's something else to do" kind of way. We gradually add more subjects until we are 'full load'. Well, today was full load. The MOTH schedule is officially complete and revamped, all subjects are in place, and school takes precedence over optional, fun activities.
I get a little crazy this time of year, especially when I realize at such late notice that the year is not going to go as originally planned. I was fully expecting to start Briana and Destry in a formal Spanish class and planned to study the Renaissance, Reformation, and Explorers in history this year. The Spanish class didn't work out, but a Civics class was being offered within our homeschool support group. I had originally thought to wait a year or two on this class, but considering all the recent political events and various situations that have been plopped into my life. . .it just seems like a good time to study civics! (Can I insert here that I don't remember ever studying 'civics' in my 17 years of formal education?! I am excited to sit in on the class with my children--I think I need to know this stuff even more than they do!)
So, that said, I've been scrambling and pulling together different supplementary resources than I had meticulously researched, planned, accumulated, paid for. And my most exciting resource for civics came in the mail today!!! Hurray! I couldn't put the silly book down today. It has biographies of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, at the risk of their own lives, along with character traits these men exhibited. It is a fascinating read. My second favorite resource is a study of court cases which encourages critical thinking to determine how the Bill of Rights applies to the cases. I think it's going to be a fun and interesting year for this momma who is in the process of getting her head out of the sand regarding the freedoms we take for granted in this country.
"A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we have come from, or what we have been about." --Woodrow Wilson
I'm trying to educate myself and my children about where we have come from and what we have been about so we don't perish for a lack of vision!
And speaking of vision, I had an excellent shot in the arm from a homeschooling mom of several children regarding what to do with my little ones during the homeschooling day and have implemented a 30-minute daily Bible story time. Today we read the story of Joseph. Easton is such a smart little guy--I love to watch his eyes move off to the side and lose focus as he is listening, thinking, and learning. As I talked about the brothers plotting against Joseph, he suddenly shouted out "They put blood on his coat!" Ah, the sweet, sweet sound of learning taking place--he knows this story!
Yes, it was a good day, indeed.
I get a little crazy this time of year, especially when I realize at such late notice that the year is not going to go as originally planned. I was fully expecting to start Briana and Destry in a formal Spanish class and planned to study the Renaissance, Reformation, and Explorers in history this year. The Spanish class didn't work out, but a Civics class was being offered within our homeschool support group. I had originally thought to wait a year or two on this class, but considering all the recent political events and various situations that have been plopped into my life. . .it just seems like a good time to study civics! (Can I insert here that I don't remember ever studying 'civics' in my 17 years of formal education?! I am excited to sit in on the class with my children--I think I need to know this stuff even more than they do!)
So, that said, I've been scrambling and pulling together different supplementary resources than I had meticulously researched, planned, accumulated, paid for. And my most exciting resource for civics came in the mail today!!! Hurray! I couldn't put the silly book down today. It has biographies of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, at the risk of their own lives, along with character traits these men exhibited. It is a fascinating read. My second favorite resource is a study of court cases which encourages critical thinking to determine how the Bill of Rights applies to the cases. I think it's going to be a fun and interesting year for this momma who is in the process of getting her head out of the sand regarding the freedoms we take for granted in this country.
"A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we have come from, or what we have been about." --Woodrow Wilson
I'm trying to educate myself and my children about where we have come from and what we have been about so we don't perish for a lack of vision!
And speaking of vision, I had an excellent shot in the arm from a homeschooling mom of several children regarding what to do with my little ones during the homeschooling day and have implemented a 30-minute daily Bible story time. Today we read the story of Joseph. Easton is such a smart little guy--I love to watch his eyes move off to the side and lose focus as he is listening, thinking, and learning. As I talked about the brothers plotting against Joseph, he suddenly shouted out "They put blood on his coat!" Ah, the sweet, sweet sound of learning taking place--he knows this story!
Yes, it was a good day, indeed.
A Poem I Don't Want to Lose
Legacy of an Adopted Child
Once there were two women,Who barely knew each other.
One is in your heart forever,
The other you’ll call mother.
Two different lives,
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life,
And the second taught you how to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you a family,
It was what God intended for her to do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment…
Which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling… neither,
Just two different kinds of love.
--Author Unknown
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