Sooner Rather Than Later

I'm a procrastinator, so would usually rather put everything off until later. I also believe in allowing children priviliges later rather than sooner, and in my educational philosophy, I subscribe to the Moores and their 'Better Late Than Early'.

But there is one area I would rather deal with sooner than later: rebellion and evidence that parents know best. It is so much easier if a child 'tries' to rebel when they're young so you can nip it in the bud and they learn not to fight their parent. Once they are mid-teens, it seems to me the parents have less control over them (if they don't have their hearts) and that rebellion can have such larger consequences.

I'm praying for an opportunity with my 12 year old son. We had a wonderful life lesson with my daughter (now 13 1/2) a couple years ago. We were staying with some friends who have a 17 yod (wonderful and sweet girl). Some of her friends were getting together to watch 'Runaway Bride' so she asked if Briana wanted to come too. Of course Briana wanted to, but as her parents, it didn't seem like a great idea to us. All the other kids were at least 14-15 (she was 12), we didn't know the hosting family very well, etc. So we said no. She submitted to our decision outwardly, but I'm her mom--I know in her heart she was. . .well, let's face it, she was mad, thought we just didn't understand, and that we were mean. (not that I ever felt that way with my parents! ha!)

I'm so thankful for what happened next, even though I know it was hard on our friend's daughter. About an hour later, she came storming in the front door and ran up the stairs to her room, obviously on the verge of tears. Her dad excused himself from our conversation and went to talk to her. Now, this young lady loves the Lord and tries to live her life in a pleasing way to Him, so she had decided there are certain movies that she isn't going to watch. Once she got to the friend's house, they had all decided to watch a movie with an R rating and a sensual theme (personally, I suspect the original movie choice was to appease parents and this was the plan all along). She told them she didn't want to watch it, but they wouldn't listen to her and she ended up leaving the party and coming home.

My daughter was a witness to this whole scene. Do you understand why I praise God for that?! I had a wonderful talk with her that evening. If she had gone, and the 17 yo friend hadn't been strong enough to stand up for her convictions, what would Briana have done? She was 12--they certainly wouldn't listen to her if they wouldn't listen to the popular older girl. And she couldn't just jump in her car and leave. Perhaps her parents really DO have her best interests at heart. Perhaps her parents really MIGHT know what's best.

I see this as a turning point in our relationship. She really seems to understand that we LOVE her and want only the best for her. She seems to comprehend that we have more experience than she does, which helps us see possible outcomes of actions. This has led to her having a more submissive heart that trusts in her parents so that she isn't nurturing a rebellious heart.

So, now I'm praying for a similar situation to arise with Destry, and for the wisdom to handle it in a way that turns his heart to us. Sometimes a mother's heart can just sense these things, and I'm sensing this need. Sooner, rather than later. . .

Move On If You Dare

I recently started a study of the Patriarchs of the Old Testament in my personal Bible study, and I am really enjoying it. It's amazing to me how reading a commentary can make me think differently about something that seems an 'old fact' without fresh insight. For example, remember how God called Abram to leave the country of Ur and go to a land He would show him?(Gen 12, Acts 7:2-4) Abram took his father, Terah, and they settled in the land of Haran for a while until Terah died. Now, we don't know 'why' they stopped there--maybe Terah was old and sick or something. But F. B. Meyer had an interesting perspective:

"It becomes us to be very careful as to whom we take with us in our pilgrimage. We may make a fair start from our Ur; but if we take Terah with us, we shall not go far. . .Let us all beware of that fatal spirit of compromise which tempts us to tarry where beloved ones bid us to stay. 'Do not go to extremes,' they cry; 'we are willing to accompany you on your pilgrimage, if you will only go as far as Haran. . .'

This made me consider: who (in general) could Terah represent? I thought a lot about compromises preventing us from getting us where God wants us to be. Others say 'don't be a fanatic, just fit in, don't be too weird, don't stick out, we must be "culturally relevant". . .'

It also fit in with something I was reading on a blog the other day about Bible teachers/church leaders who advocate mediocrity, fail to hold members accountable, lower the bar, preach the Christian life as easy, fun, etc. rather than count the cost and take up the cross. She said:

Christ calls men to carry a cross; we call them to have fun in His name. He calls them to forsake the world; we assure them that if they but accept Jesus the world is their oyster. He calls them to suffer; we call them to enjoy all the comforts of modern civilization. He calls them to holiness; we call them to a cheap happiness that would have been rejected by the least of the philosophers."

These people keep us from getting to Israel, and actually want us to 'take up residence' in a certain spot (Haran), not to outgrow them, not to challenge them--they just tell us we are 'fine' and to be comfortable. They encourage us to compromise, not to be too radical or extreme, but settle in the land of Haran instead of persevering and continuing on to the PROMISED LAND God wants to bless us with. It made me think of the life of Christian mediocrity we tend to live b/c it’s easy and not TOO different and doesn’t make anyone else uncomfortable—and there are so many who can be Terahs!

Personally, this made me think of two areas of my life: homeschooling and adoption. I’ve had so many tell me I shouldn’t educate my children at home because my kids will be weird, overprotected, not ready for the ‘real world’, miss out on experiences, not be a light to others, etc., etc. And then with adoption, I've had people try to discourage us from adopting because they adopted and they had a lot of grief in child rearing, so they blame adoption. I've had others caution against ‘bad blood’, the effect on our older children, fear of birthparents (both trying to get their children back and being a bad influence on the children later in life), etc, etc. (I won't bore you with all the lines we've heard.)

But look at what I would have missed had I listened to Terah and stayed in Haran!!!!! No Easton. No Kiana. No memories with Briana and Destry of all the fun unit studies we’ve done, the growth we’ve experienced in our relationships, the time together, the difficulties we’ve HAD to work through, the maturity and insight they have both developed, my personal growth and walk of faith, learning to rely on God instead of myself.

Haran might be more comfortable; it might be easier; it might be more acceptable. But this study motivated me to continue on to the Promised Land, walking in obedience to God, because I am confident it is a land rich with blessings.

So, what is your 'Ur' God wants you to leave? And who might be your Terah (in general, not specific) who bids you to settle for Haran instead of continuing on to the Promised Land of blessing?

***edit: in re-reading this, I also think of the many 'true friends' (as my friend Bree would call them!) who have NOT been Terahs, but who have supported me, encouraged me, and even understood me as we take different roads on our respective journeys.

Simply Living

I'm in a place I never thought I would be. Everyone would believe it, indeed expect it, from Alan. I guess I've just gone along for the ride--and discovered I enjoy it. It's actually quite fun and rewarding to do something for yourself. I certainly have an independent streak, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. There's such a sense of accomplishment in knowing you did something--made it yourself and are not dependent on others--that you could maybe survive without all the niceties of life.

I've discovered I truly enjoy having a milk cow. The butter, sour cream, yogurt, homemade ice cream and milk are lots of fun. But the real fun, for me, is in the cheese. Isn't this just a beautiful yield?! I love making mozzarella and also enjoy fromage blanc, which can be used like cream cheese (in cooking or dips), like ricotta (in lasagna or calzones), or in recipes like Cheese and Pepper Biscuits (mmmm, good!).

Notice that beautiful whey left in the pot. Well, research says whey is excellent for pigs, and reduces their feed bill by 30-40%. So, yes, we once again are raising pigs for the freezer, and they like the whey!They're a lot bigger than this already, and on less feed than it took last time. Isn't that a great perk to my bizarre new hobby of making cheese? Alan finished building me a cheese press tonight (that man can do anything!).
Yes, it's that white thing with the black circles on top and bottom. You put the cheese in there, screw it down, then put the gauge on top and press the cheese at the assigned weight for the prescribed amount of time. Guess I'll be graduating from soft cheeses to hard cheeses. (You see, he thinks everyone can do everything, just like he can!!!) Hope it works!

It's really interesting to think of how the 'simple life' works. I remember once several years ago talking with my Grandma (who was born in 1916) about her life as a child and young mother. As I thought of all my modern conveniences, I commented that I was glad I lived in this time period because she had to work so hard! She surprised me as she returned with "Oh, honey, you kids have it a lot harder than I ever did!" She went on to comment on the busyness of life and the many stresses we now have in our culture. "We worked hard, yes," she said, "but our life was simple and we enjoyed life instead of trying to keep up with running all the time."

I think I can sort of see what she was saying now, especially since we went on a 'field trip' this past weekend to a home where the people have reverted to the 'simple life' with no electricity, gas, or running water. I think their main focus is about being 'green' and living a simpler life to regain their focus and proper relationships. They work just to survive--just to provide for their basic needs. Alan thought it would be great to try for a week or two--no cell phone, computer, TV. . .just stress-free hard work. (He's cut from a different mold than I am!! I'm pretty sure I need my washing machine, stove, fridge and dishwasher!!!) But it WAS fascinating, and very peaceful. I can see how it would be easier to keep the proper focus and enjoy our relationships more without all the distractions, interruptions, and busyness.

The kids certainly enjoyed the day. Destry and some other boys couldn't wait for their turn at the hand tools used in working with wood.

The cider press was a big hit. . .especially when they got to enjoy the fruit of their labor!

And Briana had fun making beeswax candles with some of her friends.
So, overall, it was a good day and motivated me to be more productive with my time and to cut out more busyness so we can enjoy the simpler things in life. For example, guess what will be happening to these "no longer cute and little chicks" on Saturday!!!

A Matter of Perspective

What used to be strong, decisive, committed, loyal, constant and dependable was this week seen as closed-minded, boorish, immovable, stubborn and resistant.

Isn't it funny how that can happen? It just made me think how often our perception is affected by our preconceived notions. Or maybe it's just about whether we agree with the other person or not.

We might admire someone who is adventurous, open-minded and willing to try anything yet later criticize the same person for being irresponsible, flighty, and fickle. The cautious, responsible person might earn our respect in one situation, only to be scorned as hesitant and indecisive in the next. The loud person in the center of the group might be perceived as confident, gregarious, friendly and welcoming by one visitor while another sees that same person as prideful and obnoxious.

What do you think? Are they just two sides of the same coin?

It Just Doesn't Get Much Sweeter Than This

In case you're having a hard time understanding my 'not-quite-two-year-old', she is saying:
"Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh to the Father but by me." John 14:6 She started talking a little before I thought she would, sorry about that!

Lord, I Believe; Help My Unbelief

Jeff shared a lesson last week that just keeps swirling around in my mind. It's so amazing to me when someone brings a lesson that seems to be geared just for me.

He started in Matthew 13:53-58 talking about how Jesus didn't do many miracles in his hometown because of the people's unbelief. "So, is there a difference between saying you believe," he asked us, "and believing--every day, in every aspect of your life. Do we actively practice belief as a verb?"

He then continued on to visit the stories of Elisha and the widow (II Kings 4:1-7) and Naaman (II Kings 5:1-14). If you aren't familiar with these passages, take a few minutes to read them and you will be blessed. Jeff basically pointed out that the widow and Naaman had to ACT upon their belief in order for God to work in their lives and if we aren't living our lives like we *believe*, it might be possible that we are quenching the Spirit and preventing God's work in our lives.

This lesson came at just the right time for me in our adoption journey. I shared earlier that I've been plagued by fears of rejection and the cost involved, but hearing this lesson made me ask myself if I *believe* God. Sometimes I get caught up in myself and my pride--I have these little qualifiers about how we might not be chosen again and I'm not going around telling too many people we're hoping to adopt another child "just in case". . .just in case what, you ask? Well, let's face it, just in case it doesn't happen because then I would look like an idiot.

Risk looking like an idiot. . .you know, sort of like the poverty-stricken widow, faced with selling her sons into slavery to pay off her bills--but she went around to her neighbors asking to borrow empty jars. Imagine this with me for just a moment. She is broke and has only a little oil, but God (through Elisha) tells her to go borrow empty jars (not just a few!!!) and then pour her little bit of oil into all the jars. Talk about opening yourself up to look like an idiot. Can't you just see the people loaning her a jar, then watching through the window as she walks up to another house to borrow ANOTHER jar? "What does she think she's doing? What is she going to put in them? She doesn't *have* anything to put in them! She has really lost it now!!"

But God, our ever merciful and faithful God, multiplied that oil and she filled every single jar (don't you wonder if she wished she had gathered MORE jars?! would I have had the faith to gather LOTS of jars, or would I have just done 'the bare minimum' to get by?!) so she was able to pay off her debts and live off what was left.

And then there's Naaman--rich, powerful Naaman, suffering from leprosy, hypothetically willing to do whatever big and complicated thing Elisha asked in order to be healed. But wash seven times in the Jordan River? Ummmm. . .people are going to think I'm really strange--and besides, that river is DIRTY! The king of Israel certainly didn't believe--he was afraid Elisha's failure would bring war to his doorstep. But when Naaman humbled himself to believe and act upon that belief, God healed him.

So how are we living--as though we believe--really, really believe in every circumstance, and not as though 'we believed' at some point in the past? It reminds me of an analogy in the movie, "Facing the Giants". If two farmers pray for rain during a drought, and one goes out to plow his field, which one believes God is going to send rain? Yes, that's right--the one who risked looking like an idiot--the one who acted on his faith--the one who got ready for God's blessing.

God commanded the widow to borrow jars, He commanded Naaman to wash seven times in the Jordan River, and He has commanded me to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction and keep myself unspotted from the world (James 1:27). So, as I step out in faith to obey His directive, I borrow the prayer of the boy's father (Mark 9:17-24) and ask that the Lord increase my small faith and open my life for Him to work and shower blessings upon our family.

Mama Bird

I really should have taken before and after pictures. But many of you have been to my house before, so you know! :)
Here is my computer desk--it looks completely different without papers piled all over it. My sweet sil, Marcy, came down this week and we spent two days organizing my house.

I am one of the worst people at 'piling' you will ever meet (my Mom beats me. . .I don't know who else!) Working with Marcy showed me, once again, that people just think differently. I had all this stuff I just didn't know where its home should be. So I would ask her, and she would just KNOW the perfect place--that made absolute sense after she said it! (I think she thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't know it belonged there! LOL--she managed not to say 'duh', but I think she might have thought it a time or two!)
My homeschool cabinet had been taken over by preschool stuff, which is now moved to this darling little cube cabinet. I just love how this looks in my living room! And notice the shelf right above it--no longer piled with medicine for little ones, papers, a skate for Briana's doll. . .This is the spot under the aquarium which was a catch-all area--always a mess!


And check out these clean surfaces!!! These areas are usually piled with stuff that I don't know where else to put it!

Marcy thinks a baby is coming soon--she says I'm nesting. I'm afraid to count on it, but it made the job a little more exciting!!!