Quit You Like Men

Destry turned 13 this week. I am still a little in shock wondering where time has gone. On the other hand, I have seen amazing growth in my son. I think back to his younger years and times that he was so busy and energetic that I didn't know what to do with him. I think of times it seemed he broke everything he touched, and times his anger got the better of him and he lost control and would even hurt friends. I think of when I despaired of him ever being responsible, industrious, conscientious, or considerate.

Yes, I have definitely seen the Lord working in Destry's life. God has given him a sense of compassion to help and protect. Many have shared with me how he has blessed them by opening doors, carrying things for them, and changing their flat tire. Through the fruit of the Holy Spirit, he is gaining self-control over his emotions. We can count on him to help with things around the farm and know he can take care of a situation when it arises. He is more diligent in his schoolwork, and takes initiative around the house and farm when he sees that something needs done. Instead of getting frustrated and giving up when he encounters a problem, he is gaining the maturity to apply problem-solving techniques. He has grown from being a follower to being a leader.
Alan and I have been noticing these signs of maturity in him, as well as other physical signs of him beginning the journey toward manhood. Alan has long planned to do something to 'call out' his son from childhood into manhood. We don't think this time is about an arbitrary age, nor even just about physical maturity, but other less tangible evidences such as maturity, self-control, responsibility, respect, etc. This is certainly not something everyone has to do, nor should anyone do it just like Alan did with Destry. The time seemed right to us, as his parents, to initiate a rite of passage and indicate to our son that he is leaving childhood and journeying toward manhood. (These rites of passage have been a theme throughout many time periods and cultures. Interestingly, in this age of no such custom, many American boys resist becoming men far into their 20s.) Alan plans to continue this theme at a couple other moments throughout Destry's maturity with more men who care about Destry and can help guide him as he becomes a man.
Alan's theme for this initiation ceremony revolved around a toolbox and several tools. The toolbox represented the Word of God which holds all the tools a man needs throughout his life. Each of the God-fearing men presented a different tool from the box and related it to practical and spiritual applications. For example, a tape measure and square remind a man that he must have a standard throughout his life, and that standard must be the Word of God. Everything in his life must be measured against it. The hammer represented strength--physical, spiritual, and mental. The safety glasses represent the need to protect his eyes and heart.
The men affirmed Destry as they have seen growth in his life. They shared fellowship with him, and discussed what a man is and is not, and shared stories from their lives.
They laid hands of acceptance and unity on him, sending him forth with a purpose to be strong and show himself a man walking in the ways of God (I Kings 2:1-3). They prayed over him, and blessed him. They shared their hearts and committed to be available to him for support, counsel, and a helping hand when he stumbles.
He was blessed by this time of fellowship and counsel, and it seems to me he's walking a little taller since this time which both acknowledged his place at this time in his life and challenged him to be on guard, stand firm in the faith, be a man of courage, be strong, and do everything in love (I Corinthians 16:13-14).
We are so grateful to these men for their love for our son, and for their willingness to walk beside him as he grows in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14

Getting Back in the Groove

I know this picture is upside-down, but I think you'll still get the idea. That was my schedule last year. Each color represents a different person, and each square represents a block of time. This schedule assumes each day will proceed pretty much like the day before. It worked great for last year, but needed some serious revamping to accommodate all our activities for this year.
I had my new schedule hanging on the wall and ready to go Monday morning. I did this one on the computer, and each day conforms to its specific needs. I can already see some need for revamping, as there simply are not enough hours in a day to get everything done! But these last two days have already been 200% better than the last couple weeks as we at least have a plan for the day.Other differences on this year's schedule include the fact that my activities for the day are not scheduled. That is simply too difficult to do with a five-week old baby. I scheduled the school activities, and I know when I am needed for instruction and when they can complete an assignment or activity on their own, so I guess I'm floating where needed. I do miss that little square that said "blogging/computer time," however--I may have to work that in somewhere!

In other news, we went grocery shopping Saturday evening. A full van and $250 later, I am happy with my menu list and bursting pantry, fridge, and freezer.
I have several lists hanging on my refrigerator. One is a list of meals, another is a list for shopping, and finally, I have a list of things to do. One realizes the whole 'list-mania' might be out of control when your two-year-old-daughter runs to show you what she 'drew' on her paper: "Look, Mom, it's my LIST!!!!!"
I also just can't resist showing you my bountiful harvest of basil. I have picked basil and made pesto until I'm almost (but not quite!) sick of it. I pick this much one day, and three or four days later I go out and pick it again. What a blessing! I read online that the key to high basil production is continuous harvesting, and be sure to cut right above a set of double leaves. I guess they knew what they were talking about, because these plants have exploded! I'm freezing pesto to enjoy through the winter--please excuse my garlic breath!

Finally, Alan and I went out for supper last night, got to visit a friend and her new baby in the hospital, and we went to watch Inception before it leaves the theater. We had a great time visiting and reconnecting. Thanks so much for all your encouragement as I floundered in the chaos last week!

Computation Easton-Style

Here is the math problem:

You are a four-year-old boy drawing pictures quietly during church service with your six markers and a sheet of paper, when your two-year-old little sister decides she wants to draw also. Your mom tells you to divide the markers between the two of you. How many markers will each of you get?

(Mom is expecting three, right? Six divided by two is three.)

Easton math: I get four and she gets two. (At momma's lowered eyebrows ready to rebuke, he explains) "Because I am four and she is two!!!"

And speaking of drawing, I can't. Even my stick people are hard to identify as such. So imagine my surprise at Easton's drawing of a helicopter!!! Perhaps I'm too easily impressed, but I think this boy has got something I haven't!!

Putting Out Fires

This is how I would describe my life here lately. God and I are working on some selfishness, laziness, and disorganization. I don't like living my life in the state of just doing what absolutely must be done, taking care of whatever is screaming most loudly, and not feeling like there is some order. I must say, when I let things go, I do so in a mighty big way. It's not just one little area--it permeates every aspect of my life!

• Homemaking--I have no menu list. I have no shopping list. I have no idea what we are going to have to eat each day. I randomly run into a grocery store and grab a few things that I think might help tide us over until I can do "real" grocery shopping: a couple loaves of bread, a couple boxes of cereal, a can of formula, a bag of fruit. . .Let's not even talk about the piles around the house of things that need to be organized and given a home, or the typical tasks of laundry and such.
• Finances--We've fallen off the budget wagon. We just pay the bills that have to be paid today and are taking it one day at a time. We need to sit down, evaluate, get organized, re-designate where things need to go, figure out a payment plan for our adoption loan. It's so much more peaceful doing it the "Dave Ramsey" way (ha, ha--Financial Peace University).
  
• Homeschool--Believe it or not, this is the area that seems to be going the best. I have lesson plans done for 10-12 weeks for every child and every subject except history. If only I had history planned, however, I would feel so much better! This is just simmering underneath everything constantly asking me to get it done.
  
• Marriage--Do you ever have those times when you just feel somewhat disconnected? Life gets busy and you aren't talking about anything important? Alan has had two out-of-town business meetings in the last two weeks, and that's all it takes for me to miss talking to him! We've just been addressing what absolutely must be addressed right now, counting on having time later to sit down and really reconnect. I'm ready for that to happen!
  
• Child Training--I prefer to be a proactive parent. I like to have my children near me and to pay attention so I can observe misbehaviors and character training issues as they're developing and have the opportunity to steer them in a better direction before it becomes too big of a deal. These last few days I've been putting out fires--the kind that are blowing up in my face--rather than nurturing a little spark.
  
• The Schedule--What schedule?? Oh, this is a big one! I really like to have a schedule, especially in our home school. I need to know what time we are doing which subject, and so do my children. But this schedule needs seriously revamped. In the past I've been able to have one schedule that worked for every day, with just a couple minor adjustments (such as one class on M/W/F from 1-3pm, with a different class during that same time slot on T/Th). But this year we have more going on, and I really need a unique schedule for each day--or at least two separate schedules, one for M/W/F and one for T/Th. But I don't have it written out. So each day (for we've been back to school for a couple weeks now) feels like a series of little fires that I just run around putting out as we try to get done what needs done. When I have a schedule, the day just sort of runs itself. My goal: have that schedule completely done and ready to implement next Monday. Hold me accountable now!
• Spiritually--And isn't this really just the cause of the above symptoms? I'm not in the Word the way I want to be, the way I should be. My Bible study time has turned into an obligatory reading of a few verses to a chapter. I'm down to the "I know I need to be in the Word and I haven't read any today, so I'll 'put out the fire' by reading here for a few minutes before I go to bed." I much prefer to dig into the Bible, read a couple different translations of the same passage, cross reference different passages and/or look up a few Greek definitions. 'Putting out the fire' is just not the same. Indeed, I would much prefer to be LIGHTING this fire. I'm spending a lot of time in prayer, but need to get back into a listening posture as well.
  

I've gained some encouragement today and am looking forward to getting back on track in all these areas. In fact, today I made a menu plan and a grocery list to implement that plan. Once that food is in the house--ah, what a sigh of relief that will be! I spent some time with my husband this evening visiting and making some financial decisions to get back with a budget. I scribbled all over my calendar noting the children's different classes, lessons, sports, etc. in preparation for making a schedule. Perhaps next week I won't feel so much like a firefighter and will be more effective in serving where the Lord has called me to serve.

"Let's Not Eat Supper

Let's just eat the cupcakes."

This is what Easton said to me about the cupcakes he and Kiana made me for my birthday. If he had his way, he would eat donuts for breakfast every morning, a PB&J sandwich for every lunch, and cookies or ice cream for every snack.

As his mother, however, I know he needs a more balanced diet than this, so I try to feed him things that are better for him--foods that will help him grow and be strong and healthy.

I don't have prayer all figured out. There is so much to this subject, and as I've studied and practiced prayer, I find this blessing (and discipline) to be richer and deeper every year of my life. One observation I have, as I reiterate that I don't have it all figured out, is that God's dealings with us are much like my dealings with Easton.

Easton asks for what he wants--for what seems good to him according to his immaturity and his limited view of the big picture. But I give him what is best. Sound familiar?

Perhaps this is something that comes with growth, but it seems to me we must trust that God wants what is best for us. Things don't always seem good from our human perspective, but we don't see the big picture. I think of when someone I love dearly was caught in a pit of sin. He was not living for the Lord, and just kept sliding down a dangerous hill. When he was finally caught breaking the law and had to go to prison, my heart was breaking for him. But through it all, I prayed that he would come to know the Lord. "If this is what it takes to bring him to you, Lord, it will all be worth it," I continually prayed. It might have seemed good to skip supper and eat the cupcakes--for us to pray that he wouldn't have to serve the time--but how much better the work God has done in his life!! And not in his life alone, but the lives of many who walked through this trial with him! God's ways are so much higher than our ways! I see him now, surrendered to the Lord, growing in his walk with God, and honestly, being more of a man than I ever really even knew to hope he would be. That's how God works.

I'm not a 'name it and claim it' person, nor do I espouse a 'prosperity gospel.' The Bible talks about people being healed because of their faith, but it also shows people being healed without faith (consider the lame man at the gate Beautiful who was healed by Peter and John but wanted alms, not healing) for the glory of God. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. We don't automatically get what we pray for because we are following God, nor do good things always happen to 'good' people (as if any of us are good--but you know the saying). Prayer is neither a genie-in-the-bottle solution, nor a get-out-of-jail-free Monopoly card.

Perhaps that's why a part of me shudders when I hear a professing Christian tell another "I believe God WILL come through for you" as they are going through a very difficult time. God *will* come through for you?? My friend, God HAS come through for you! He sent His Son to die for you, to cleanse you of sin that you have no ability on your own to wash away, to reconcile you to Him. He has given you hope for eternal life, peace to live through this life, the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Do we seriously want to put God into such a box that the only way He can "come through for us" is if we get what we want and never have any trials? Do we seriously want a diet of cupcakes? Do we want to forfeit the growth, endurance, faith, sanctification, pruning, and strength that comes through eating supper?

I think prayer, that wonderful avenue of communication, can help us accept supper, indeed, to appreciate supper. I think prayer might produce a perspective that recognizes and welcomes more nourishment than cupcakes can provide.

Weeks Are Flying By

I can't believe Tyrell will be a month old tomorrow! What a blessing he is! He is such a cutie, and I love the way he looks at people and objects, his beautiful smile, and the way he tries so hard to talk.
He is well-loved by many family and friends. Here his cousin, Nathan, gazes at him so sweetly.
And Easton still considers it his personal responsibility to entertain and teach Tyrell all the things a big brother needs to teach.


I am amazed at how quickly time is passing and Tyrell is growing! He weighs a whopping nine pounds, one ounce now, and is thinking about outgrowing newborn diapers and clothes. I'm not quite ready for this, but I'm glad he's healthy.

What Do You Get. . .

when you combine a length of garden hose, a pulley, rope, old cushions, a piece of wood, old springs, and the creativity and love of a 13-year-old boy for his younger siblings??
A hammock. . .a swing, complete with springs at the top for extra bounce. . .
and a zip line.
Otherwise known as a complete playground system. Hours of fun guaranteed! Sorry about cutting Easton off--I realized I was right in the way and reflexively pushed the button. (I was right, by the way, chuckle)