The Right Education

My friend Trinity recently told me babies have to be taught appropriate responses, such as smiling or laughing. It makes sense to me, particularly as I've heard many accounts of children in orphanages learning not to cry when they have a need because no one comes to take care of them.

Aristotle thought we should be raised "so as both to delight in and to be pained by the things that we ought; this is the right education."

"Plato before him," writes C. S. Lewis, "had said the same. The little human animal will not at first have the right responses. It must be trained to feel pleasure, liking, disgust, and hatred at those things which really are pleasant, likable, disgusting, and hateful."

I am reminded of the times my oldest son ate dog food and. . .other disgusting things I'd rather not divulge. Surely we all know people who have no perception of social cues. For every good or natural desire there seems to be an alternate perversion of that desire.

We must train our children to eat those things which are food and good for our bodies. We know it's necessary to train our children in proper social etiquette such as leaving a host's home in a timely fashion, responding appropriately to the receiving of gifts, proper treatment of borrowed items, and consideration for the convictions of others so as not to cause offense. Similarly, we must train our children to love that which is good and abhor that which is evil.

It seems to come back to appetites, once again. We cultivate appetites in our children, whether consciously or unconsciously. If we read and provide wholesome, living books, our children will enjoy good literature and not be attracted to trash. If we provide opportunities to work and serve, children will find pleasure in a job well done rather than being lazy or seeking always to be entertained. Children will find funny those things we laugh at. Little boys' eyes will eagerly seek that which catches daddy's eye, or they will avert their eyes from that which daddy finds shameful.

I find it incredibly frustrating every time I hear someone proudly proclaim "I'm not going to teach all these moral or religious beliefs to my children. I'm going to give them the right to choose their own beliefs." Truly, they are making the choice for their child with that act. Left without guidance, a child will eat dog food. The right education teaches what is right and wrong. The right education develops an appetite for that which is good. From there, the choice is up to the child.

Reflections on Blessings

“God has no grandchildren, only children,” observes an old maxim. This wise saying teaches those of us who are blessed to be raised in God-fearing homes the necessity for self-evaluation in our relationship with the Lord. While being raised by parents who love the Lord blesses us with Bible knowledge and protection from the consequences of many sins, we can also be more susceptible to equally ugly temptations such as pride, self-righteousness, and a focus on works unless we secure our hearts in the Word (Psalm 119:9-16) and rely on our relationship with God instead of the relationships our parents have with Him.

When I was asked to write to young ladies about growing in their spiritual walk as they are being raised in Christian homes, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own upbringing. I am exceedingly grateful to those who taught me Bible stories, listened to my recitation of Bible verses, took me to meetings of the church, and guided me through the choices of my teenage years.

Yet being raised in a “Christian home” is not what saves us. As my own faith and relationship with the Lord have grown I have realized that Satan is just as effective at pulling people away from God with temptations of superiority and making the cross common as he is by premarital sex or drug and alcohol abuse. We must guard ourselves against all such temptations and that begins with awareness of their presence.

When I had an opportunity to study the Bible with women in jail, I faced the realization that I am not one bit better than those women were. One woman in her early 20s had never been married but had four children with four different daddies and had learned to make drugs for her mother when she was 8 or 9 years old. How could I possibly think I was superior to her when I had never faced such a life? If I had been raised in those same circumstances, without the Lord, I might have made those same mistakes. Only through God’s power and the sacrifice of His Son do we have any hope, and only in the cross can we boast (Galatians 6:14)--not in our own circumstances, and not by comparing ourselves to others (II Corinthians 10:12).

There was no reason for me to be shocked that she didn’t know the difference between Daniel, David, and Jonah just because I had been hearing those stories since before my ‘formal education’ began. Indeed, her excitement and amazement as she learned the Scriptures brought a fresh appreciation to my readings and her frequent questions brought about growth in my life as I dug into the Word with her.

Through these experiences and the growth Christ has worked in my life, I am learning humility and compassion as relationships develop. I am learning to be more patient and extend the grace God lavishes on me instead of judging and criticizing the choices others make. I have learned the importance of praying for God’s love to fill me and spill over on others and to look at myself in relation to God rather than in relation to others.

I would like to encourage you to spend much time in the Word now when you don’t have the responsibilities of adulthood, and allow the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—Galatians 5:22-26) to fill your hearts as you encounter other young ladies who haven’t had the benefits of a God-fearing home. Realize now that you can claim no credit for such blessings and while God is misrepresented by self-righteousness, He is glorified by humility.

Big Stuff

Some boys around here are getting a little big for their britches! The above picture is of Easton playing with his remote-controlled car. Okay, it doesn't go with the theme, but I just love that grin and had to squeeze it in here because it makes my heart happy.

I've mentioned before how much Easton loves his baby brother. With supervision, he is occasionally being allowed to carry Tyrell. Tyrell grabs hold of Easton's shirt while Easton tightly wraps his arms around his brother and off they go to a nearby destination. Easton thinks he is VERY big when allowed this privilege.
Tyrell is also seeing how big he can be by drinking out of a cup. I know this sounds crazy for a five month old, but when he sees a glass he gets excited and leans toward it and if you don't give him a drink he cries! Silly boy. When you bring it within reach, he eagerly reaches out to grab it and bring it to his mouth where he nearly tucks his entire face in to get a drink. He's quite neat about it, too, literally drinking the milk rather than wasting it down his chin and front.Finally, Easton loves to build with Legos, closely following big brother Destry and Daddy. He was so very proud to make this dump truck by following the directions in a small kit. I was amazed he could finish it, but considering the tutelage he's had, I shouldn't have been surprised.Why are they in such a big hurry to grow up??

Beginning and Ending the Day

I think one reason I appreciate Humility: True Greatness so much is because Mahaney doesn't just talk about the need for humility and the evil of pride. He recognizes the need for purposeful application and shares practical ways we can pursue humility and accept God's transformation in our lives. The rest of the book contains suggestions for how we can cultivate humility and weaken pride. His first several tips revolve around lifestyle changes and new routines--how we begin and end each day.

Tip #1: Reflect on the wonder of the cross
How can anyone be arrogant when he stands beside the cross? "Every time we look at the cross Christ seems to be saying to us, 'I am here because of you. It is your sin I am bearing, your curse I am suffering, your debt I am paying, your death I am dying.' Nothing in history or in the universe cuts us down to size like the cross. All of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there, at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size" (67).

Tip #2: Begin your day acknowledging your need for God
Begin your day with "an expression of your dependence on God, your need for God, and your confidence in God." He reminds us that sin is active, not passive, and as soon as we wake up sin is ready to attack. Thus we have to begin our day by taking control of our thoughts and turning them over to God instead of mentally listing what we have to get done today or groaning over mistakes we made yesterday. When we realize and confess how much we need Him, we are less likely to be prideful and arrogant throughout the day.

Tip #3: Begin your day expressing gratitude to God
"Thankfulness is a soil in which pride does not easily grow" (70). Watch for answered prayers and be thankful for them. Be observant and notice the manifestations of God's grace that take place throughout the day. If we are aware and appreciative of God's provision, we are more ready for humility.

Tip #4: Begin your day with prayer, study of God's Word, and worship.
"It's possible to charge into the day motivated by self-sufficiency, but the very act of opening my Bible to read and turning my heart and mind to prayer makes a statement that I need God" (72).

Tip #5: Begin your day by seizing the mundane moments for memorization of and meditation on Scripture
Speak the truth of God to yourself rather than listening to yourself during the routine moments of a day (for example, a commute to work).

Tip #6: Begin your day by casting your cares on Him.
"Where there's worry, where there's anxiousness, PRIDE is at the root of it. When I am experiencing anxiety, the root issue is that I'm trying to be self-sufficient" (75). Instead, start your day free of care by casting all your cares on the Lord so you will have joy and peace. I Peter 5:6-7--Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God casting all your anxieties on him, because He cares for you.

Mahaney notes that many of us are in the habit of some of these morning routines, but "few of us have thought biblically and strategically about how to glorify God at the end of the day--even though the way we end today can clearly affect the way we encounter tomorrow" (79), so he shares two tips for ending for cultivating humility by the way we end our days.

Tip #7: End your day by reviewing it and carefully assigning all glory to God for the grace you've experienced that day.
Instead of going to bed thinking about all we have to do tomorrow, or even reflecting on the blessings of the day without giving thanksgiving and glory to God, we should intentionally transfer all glory to God for each success and gift of the day.

Tip #8: End your day by receiving the gift of sleep from God.
I thought this was especially interesting as I've never before thought about the fact that because I am the creation, I am limited in my energy which is renewed by the gift of sleep each night. "Each night, as I confront my need again for sleep, I'm reminded that I'm a dependent creature. I am not self-sufficient. I am not the Creator. There is only One who 'will neither slumber nor sleep (Psalm 121:4)' and I am not that One" (84).

These eight tips toward cultivating humility inspire me because they are attainable. I can see how they lend themselves toward humility and cut down on pride, but I'm not overwhelmed about them being 'too hard' to do. I really appreciate the way Maheney takes this huge task (weaken pride and cultivate humility) and breaks it down into bite-sized pieces to help us grow in humility.

Does anyone care to join me in applying these eight tips throughout this next week? And I'll try to be diligent in adding the next few tips next Wednesday.

God gives grace to the humble.--James 4:6

Offering Hospitality

Wouldn't you like to come and stay with us?
We have a wonderfully comfortable hide-a-bed! I'm sure the jumping just. . .um. . .tenderizes the springs!


I know I'm a pushover in my old age. But I can't resist the pleas of "can we jump on the couchbed?!" It's especially difficult to say 'no' when it's cold and blustery outside, the trampoline is broken, and the bed is only used a couple times a year anyway.

Their friends think I'm the coolest mom ever when they all get to jump on the couch bed. No jumping on the real beds, you understand, and I simply cannot tolerate the sounds of fighting or whining. But jump on the couch bed? Sure, why not?!

If I were three years old, weighed 24 pounds, had a princess cd player, and really cool beads in my braids I would want to jump on the couch bed too!!

Follow in the Footsteps

Easton was enthralled with Destry's violin recital a couple weeks ago. He listened very attentively to the violinists of all ages. Then he shared his desire to play the violin 'like Destry.'

We don't have Destry's first violin (we sold it to a friend) but we have two smaller violins which Easton is trying to claim as his own. He has been asking me to get one of the smaller violins down about 3-4 times per week claiming a need to "practice like Destry."

I'm not terribly excited to buy more lessons at this point, but his desire and diligence are so tempting. . .

And his little 'concerts' are too precious for words. We are commanded to provide the 'dum dum' chord which signals his bow and our applause.

Lifting the Corner

Last week I preread a Newbery-Award winner for the kids called Corner of the Universe. Reminiscent of the classic Of Mice and Men, it contained some good themes regarding perfectionism, acceptance of mental illness, and being who you are, but I would not recommend it for younger readers because of some 'mature elements'.

The message that stood out to me the most was the idea that we might each feel like we inhabit and are limited to a small corner of the universe with which we are consumed--but it's possible for that corner to be lifted.

"Some days I feel like I don't belong anywhere in that world. That world out there. People walk down our street and people drive down it and people ride their bicycles down it and all of them, even the ones I know, could be from another planet. And I'm a visiting alien. And aliens don't belong anywhere, except in their own little corners of the universe."

"Hattie," he says at last, looking thoughtful. "I believe you are one of the people who can lift the corners of our universe."

In this last year, Uganda has been my Hattie, lifting the corners of my universe. It started with reading blogs like Katie's and Renee's. It was underlined with the reading of books like Crazy Love and One Million Arrows.

Then my friend Breanna made an amazing felt house which she raffled to raise more than a thousand dollars to feed and educate Ugandan children through Amazina ministries. Shortly afterward, my dear friend Misti was moved to market beads for widowed women of Uganda. These women recycle paper to make gorgeous beads and turn them into necklaces, bracelets and earrings which are sold for a small amount which is enough to provide for their families. The man who buys the jewelry from the widows sells them at a slight markup (yet they are still incredibly inexpensive by our standards--more than $2,000 were raised by these beads in about two weeks!) to us in the States and that slight markup provides for the 200 children his orphanage cares for who have been orphaned and victimized by terrorist groups and HIV.

My year ended with a local performance of the Children of the World International Children's Choir. This choir was made of up 16 orphaned and poverty-stricken children from Uganda, Nepal, and the Philippines.
They shared about the extreme poverty, disease, and lack of education in their country. Much of these struggles are a result of the lack of water since the water is deep underground and digging wells is so expensive.Water that I take for granted every time I turn on the tap. Water that pours down the drain as I spend 20 minutes in the shower every single day (which I have since shortened to 10 minutes!).
Water that I use to wash dishes and laundry when they don't have clean drinking water and instead travel miles to haul parasite-infected water which makes them sick.
I sat there listening to their stories, made all the more haunting by their matter-of-fact tones, with tears running beneath the collar of my turtleneck sweater. I wanted to load them up in my van and bring them home to show them love and security and stability.

I was impressed and inspired by the people who travel with this team of children, sacrificing their lives for the Lord, so others can hear their stories and so the children have an opportunity to learn about the Lord. There seems so little I can do when the corner of my universe is lifted and I am made more aware of the millions dying without food, water, love. . .or the Lord.

Perhaps the corners of my children's universe are being lifted as Briana and her friend were delighted to spend a day with me cooking a couple meals and a tray full of cookies for the orphan choir. Such a small effort--more of a thank you to them, really, for lifting the corner of our universe.

And I wonder when we American Christians will realize life is not about stuff that just gets in the way--it's a distraction and brings about stress. I wonder when we will lay down our selfishness, pride, and laziness and allow Christ to work through us to reach out to people with a loving and helping hand.

For when the corners of our universe are lifted, it affects our universe--unless we just hurry to tie those corners back down so we can remain where we felt comfortable and all was familiar.