Passion and Purity, Part Two

Here is the promised guest post by my sixteen year old daughter, Briana.

 Passion and Purity is an unconventional title for a book.  It seems to contradict itself.  In today's culture, passion and purity seem to be opposites; a person has either one or the other.  In Elisabeth and Jim Elliot's story, however, they had both.  Jim and Elisabeth met at college as they were both training in linguistics in order to become missionaries.  Both were committed to sexual and emotional purity, and both of their lives were dedicated to the Lord.  To make a long story short, they fell in love, but unlike a fairytale they didn't get married and live happily ever after.  They didn't feel that God wanted them to get married right then.  Jim desired to go to distant parts of the South American jungle as a missionary and it wouldn't be safe for a woman to go with him.  Elisabeth had important missionary experience to gain at that time as well.

Jim and Elisabeth waited five years after "falling in love" before the Lord led them together and they joined hands as husband and wife.  Passion and Purity tells the story of Elisabeth's five years of waiting.  She shares all the things God taught her along the way and how she learned to bring her passions under Christ's control.  Passion and Purity was an excellent encouragement to me.  Here are some of the most meaningful things I learned:

1. I belong first to God.  God was most important in Elisabeth's life and she learned to submit every part of herself to Him--first, and above all else
2. I cannot make marriage my goal in life--only God can truly satisfy my soul.  Elisabeth learned that a man couldn't really fulfill her.  She had to trust herself completely in God's hands and be satisfied in Him.
3. Waiting produces trust in God and character that we cannot learn if we always get what we want when we want it. "It's no use trying to measure suffering. What matters is making the right use of it, taking advantage of the sense of helplessness it brings to turn one's thoughts to God. Trust is the lesson." (87)
4. The goal is not to make our natural desire for romance and marriage disappear, but to lay that desire at God's feet so that He can truly purify us for His glory.  "The Christian has handed the reins over to his Master.  His human desires are brought into line.  The desires still exist, are still strong, natural, and human, but they are subjugated to the higher power of the Spirit.  They are purified and corrected as we live day by day in faith and obedience" (95).  
5. God is faithful.  He will grow, teach, and guide you.  He knows what is best for you--you can trust Him. "His intention for us is the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ" (164)

In the introduction, Elisabeth says "The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground. There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ." (14)

Later on she voices this struggle, which is the challenge I took from her book.  "Do I want to walk, here as in all areas of my life, by faith? Or will I take things into my own hands?"  Passion and Purity challenged me to lay my desires, emotions, and relationships at the feet of Christ, and I highly recommend it to you.

Atlas Shrugged

How does one write a review of one of the most brilliant yet disturbing novels you've ever read?

The cover on my copy of the book

I'm sure it's going to make my list of top ten books read in 2012.  It's very interesting as a novel--the characters are interesting, there's plenty of intrigue and lots of pathos.  Her writing. . .well, she was one incredibly gifted wordsmith.  The book is filled with foreshadowing (including my previously referenced quote) and figures of speech.  Now that I know what happens, I want to read the book again someday (not soon--it took me plenty of time to read those 1168 pages!) just so I can savor her brilliant  plays on words.  Over and over again she illustrated what was going on in the story with seemingly unrelated or minor details.  For example, during one impasse between opposing men in a laboratory, Rand expounds on the mood:

In the long moment of silence, they could hear the rustle of the animals clawing at the bars of their cages. . .The chief moved his glance slowly, appraisingly, from his face to the two gunmen in the corners.  The gunmen steadied their aim by an almost imperceptible movement.  A nervous rustle went through the room.  An animal squeaked shrilly in one of the cages (1152).

It's just fun to me when an author is so skillful at relating the tension in the room without just telling the reader "the tension in the room was palpable" or some other such predictable phrase.  There are levels to her writing that simply suck me in.

But Atlas Shrugged is much, much more than just an enjoyable and well-crafted novel.  It is the manifestation of ideas and beliefs and the rather sobering outcome of ideas put into practice.  (It was especially fascinating to me to read this so soon after having read Life At the Bottom.  Dalrymple illustrated the problems inherent in many liberal secular humanist ideals with a series of essays sharing his observations of those ideals in practice in the "underclass" of England.  Rand illustrates many of the same problematic ideals in a fictional, somewhat dystopian novel.)  Just a few of the principles she discusses are:

• free trade/capitalism contrasted with socialism/welfare society
• big government and regulation
• ingenuity of the mind vs. a non-thinking society
• workers vs. takers
• value life (of self) vs. death (of others)

Sadly, I doubt many of my followers will run out and read this book even though I would recommend it as well worthwhile.  I've been intimidated by it for the last couple of years, but I'm glad I finally read it.  There are some points and actions in the book I disagree with and it is certainly a book absent the hope of the living God.  The very starkness and bleakness of that lack of hope, however, rather pointed me straight to the cross in gratitude that in Christ my life means more than the picture that was painted.

There's much, much more that I could say about Atlas Shrugged, but Ayn Rand says it ever so much better.  If you genuinely appreciate good writing and enjoy pondering ideas that you almost can't wrap your brain around--don't miss this one!

Little Girl Look

Daddy was a fan of Kiana's most recent hairstyle as he says she "looks like a little girl again."

 Kiana's box braids lasted six weeks and three days--hip, hip, hooray!  I loved their look, I loved their versatility, but they were getting fuzzy and it was time to take them out.  (As a side note, I took the beads out after a couple weeks and thoroughly moisturized the ends.  Then I just left them out and let her ends curl up and the braids also curl up as well, which is simply darling when the braids are styled into pigtails or partial ponytails, etc.)

Here she is after having braids removed and her hair freshly washed, conditioned, and detangled. Isn't that hair pretty!

We opted for a simple part, pony, and braid style this time, which took us maybe 45 minutes at the most.

 I just parted the front from the back by going behind the ear from one side to the other.  Then I made diagonal parts in each half and collected the sections into ponytails with ballies.

Just for extra fun, we added another set of ballies to each pony to give her more bling, and we ended the braids with sweet flower barrettes.  I think Daddy is right--it's a sweet and fresh little-girl style and I like it too.

Six Dollars Worth of Fun

Garage sales around here are really fun.  I stopped at one random garage sale last weekend and spent a whopping six dollars.  How much fun can this family get out of six dollars?  When it starts with a pogo stick, there's no limit!

 Of course dress up clothes around here are priceless--and we picked up FIVE new imagination-boosting outfits for a measly two bucks!

 Then there were these amazing collapsible toy box "thingys".  The lady having the sale said they were for toys--I thought they would be great for holding stuffed animals or even dirty laundry.  I never imagined they would be great houses, castles, spaceships, etc. and thus be great for holding kids.

A princess bike for Princess Kiana, a couple hardback books, three movies and a box of "pirate treasure" (costume jewelry claimed and labeled by Easton) finished our trunkful of loot.

The kiddos have logged hours and hours of play so far, and I see many more hours of equally imaginative play in their future.  What a find!

Passion and Purity, Part One

I was boy crazy as a preteen and early teen--absolutely boy crazy.  Frankly, it was debilitating.  I had a constant awareness of any boy around me and wondered if they noticed me, if they liked me, if they thought I was cute. I giggled constantly and talked incessantly, trying to get their attention.  I wonder how much stronger my relationship with the Lord would have been, how much better my relationships with my parents and family would have been, how much better focused my marriage would have been sooner, if I had come across such a resource twenty five years ago.

I recently finished reading Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control by Elizabeth Elliot with Briana
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I can't recommend it highly enough.

If you have a teenager, if you are a teenager, if you are not married. . .what am I saying?  If you desire to surrender every area of your life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, you need to read this book.

In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot shares the struggles and victories she and Jim encountered in their commitment to give their lives to the Lord before giving them to one another.  As he served on the mission field and she attended college, they wrestled in their individual relationships with the Lord always striving to put Him first and not get caught up in their emotions or desires.  This is not just a book about physical and emotional purity (although it certainly addresses that principle).  It is a book about growing in sincere devotion to the Lord first and above all.

This book prompted many heart-searching conversations between me and my sixteen-year-old daughter.  She was especially blessed and challenged by Elisabeth's choices and guidance, and she has agreed to write a guest post for me highlighting thoughts that most affected her.

But the book was good for me too, even as I approach my twentieth wedding anniversary, especially the sections dealing with loneliness and putting God first, no matter what.  I was also strongly affected by a chapter on being willing to let go.

Loneliness.  The first few months after we moved to Iowa from Missouri, I really struggled with loneliness and "few things have the power to make us feel as sorry for ourselves as has loneliness" (116).  I missed friendships and despaired of ever finding new friends here.  Starting over is so tedious--it's much easier to talk to someone who already knows you, who knows your history, who knows your struggles and temptations and where you're coming from.  I'm not a fan of opening myself up to a new friendship and having to fill in all those blanks.  In some respects, I felt like this stage of my life was "in-between".  We were renting, looking for a place to buy.  It was "after Missouri and its friendships" and "before establishing relationships in Iowa."

But Elisabeth reminded me "it is quite possible to waste the present altogether.  Don't waste it.  Wherever you are, be all there" (78).  When anticipating some better future, Jim wrote "let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.  No matter who or where you are, there is something you can do, somebody who needs you.  Do something for somebody else" (80).  "Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest thing of all, uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope" (82).  I was challenged throughout the book to love the Lord above all else, to take my heart and my thoughts to Him and to trust Him with the future while using the present to serve Him by loving and reaching out to others in His name without seeking to be filled by human relationships.

Letting Go.  What have you had to let go of?  What can you look back over your life and see that ultimately led to your growth in the Lord, even as it required sacrifice?  It required a loss.  A failed adoption?  A church family?  An ideal little farm?

There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go.  At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops.  If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul.  It is easy to make a mistake here.  'If God gave it to me,' we say, 'it's mine.  I can do what I want with it.'  No.  The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of--if we want to find our true selves, if we want real Life, if our hearts are set on glory.

Think of the self that God has given as an acorn.  It is a marvelous little thing, a perfect shape, perfectly designed for its purpose, perfectly functional.  Think of the grand glory of an oak tree.  God's intention when He made the acorn was the oak tree.  His intention for us is ". . .the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ."  Many deaths must go into our reaching that measure, many letting-goes.  When you look at the oak tree, you don't feel that the 'loss' of the acorn is a very great loss.  The more you perceive God's purpose in your life, the less terrible will the losses seem. (164)

 Isn't that a perfectly beautiful illustration of letting go in order to grow and be conformed into the image of Christ?  In our humanity, we cling to the acorn, afraid of an unknown future, unwilling to die, to be cracked, to produce life.  But what greater glory the immense oak tree brings the Father.  May I never be content to remain an acorn but rather yield my branches ever higher in the purposes of the Lord.

Beatin' the Heat

 I should have bought stock in popsicles.

 They each have one per day, many days they eat two apiece, and three each is not unheard of.

Something about kids and popsicles just says summertime.

Created to Need a Help Meet, Guest Review Post

A few weeks ago I told a good friend that my husband was reading the book her husband had recommended.  "I don't know what's in there," I said, "but he's making me fall in love with him all over again.  I almost feel guilty and certainly undeserving of the love he is showering on me."

Alan with his five treasured blessings

He was reading Created to Need a Help Meet by Michael Pearl.  Now I realize this is a pretty controversial name these days, but I tend to pick out what I like from their resources and disregard the rest.  Overall, I think Mr. Pearl is a rather funny man, stern for sure, but I sense he loves the Lord, his wife, and his family very much.

I had to giggle at my friend's response.  She agreed that the book had affected her husband as well and confessed that she started reading it.  She stopped, however, when she reached chapter four which referenced the "nosy, bossy women who might be reading this to see what their husbands are reading."  That just cracked me up, and I was so glad she warned me so I could pretend I am not a nosy, bossy woman as well (you know I was just about to pick it up and start reading!).

After this discussion, I teasingly told Alan (my farmer, trapper, lineman, physical-not-literary kind of man) he would have to write a review for my blog since I wasn't supposed to read it.  Imagine my surprise when he emailed me his review, which I am now going to share with you.  I submit his review to you as evidence of the effect this book can have on your marriage (however, I don't recommend you buy it for your man as that never works. . .not that I've ever tried such a thing of course!  Maybe my husband will recommend it to yours.)

Guest Post by Alan
If there is one area a married man should never neglect it is the importance of continually trying to improve his marriage. Numerous books line the shelves of Barnes and Noble, Hastings, and Christian Book stores across this nation as well as numerous web sites on this subject.

Michael Pearl in Created to Need a Help Meet holds back no punches and lays it on the line of how important our wives are to us and are a blessing from God. In his typical backwoods humor and down to earth teaching he explores the meaning of the “help meet.” Pearl uses God’s word to teach that woman is perfect for us today. “Eve was the perfect right hand fit for the right man Adam “(23) and that she was made a “help---meet for him” (23).

I enjoyed the part of this book that expanded on the different types of men in this world and how these individual men have an ability to either make or break their help meet. Mr. Visionary always looking for the next thrill, Mr. Steady never changing, and the Command Man always confident and leading are the three personalities discussed. Pearl uses toe tamping examples and heart tearing letters to help us men who need to have our hearts worked on.

In order to love and cherish our wives to the extent that they will willingly submit to the type of man we are Pearl examines different types of women, applies scripture for Godly authority, and teaches the importance of cherishing your wife. “Obedience can be given to someone you fear or hate, but submission is the act of joyfully giving one’s self” (183).

Created to Need a Help Meet is a book that can be read lightly the first time to enjoy the humor, but needs to be studied the second time through to truly apply the principles and learn from the mistakes we have made in our marriages. I recommend this book for anyone who is thinking of getting married or has been married for many years to truly see how man is created to need a help meet.