All the Light We Cannot See

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Two teenagers during World War II, one a girl in France, one an orphaned boy in Germany. This book tells their stories as Hitler rises and falls from power.

I must admit I did not like the way the book jumped back and forth, not just between the two main characters, but also between years. That is one disadvantage to reading a book like this on the Kindle, I think, as it's more difficult to flip back and remember which year this chapter is in when you've had to set it down and pick it back up. It also just broke the book up for me making it choppy and difficult to engage in.

Having said that, there was a lot to like about it. The historical aspect of the novel was well done. The growth of the characters and the effects the war had on them was also well done. I especially enjoyed all the unique characters he gave us: a mechanical genius, a brilliant bird-loving scientist with quiet courage, a blind, brave and practical girl, a damaged-by-war veteran, an insightful young girl who sees what's coming, a gentle, music-loving giant forced into killing. . .

This book hit me in a tender spot as my 18-year-old son is seriously considering joining the armed services. I think he doesn't realize the effects war has on a person. So as I read, I highlighted several poignant passages:

"You will strip away your weakness, your cowardice, your hesitation. You will become like a waterfall, a volley of bullets--you will all surge in the same direction at the same pace toward the same cause. You will forgo comforts; you will live by duty alone. You will eat country and breathe nation" (137). . ."They are each a mound of clay, and the potter that is the portly, shiny-faced commandment is throwing 400 identical pots" (139).
"Something in Werner's soul shuts its scaly eyes" (246).
"He has the sensation that something huge and empty is about to devour them all" (251).
"as if they ward off a vast and inevitable tidal wave of anguish only by staying forever drunk on rigor and exercise and gleaming boot leather" (262).
"Werner is beginning to see, approaching his sixteenth birthday, that what the fuhrer really requires is boys. Great rows of them walking to the conveyor belt to climb on" (277).
"Other times the eyes of men who are about to die haunt him, and he kills them all over again. Dead man in Lodz. Dead man in Lublin. Dead man in Radom. Dead man in Cracow" (498).

I enjoyed his use of language throughout the book and the many themes he explored: death, growing up, courage, conformity, friendship, loss, learning and appreciation of nature. . .

It was also interesting to find Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" woven throughout the book as one of the main characters reads it throughout the story. I read that classic for the first time just last year so it was interesting to revisit it through her eyes.

Since I borrowed the book on my Kindle, here are a few other quotes I highlighted that I might like to revisit at some point:

"across the room is a miniature girl, skinny, quick-witted, an open book in her lap; inside her chest pulses something huge, something full of longing, something unafraid" (46).

"They lie on their stomachs and page through comics, feeling the pleasure of being outside of school, glancing at each other now and then as if curious to learn whether their friendship will continue to exist in another place" (220).

"Everyone trapped in their roles: orphans, cadets, Frederick, Volkheimer, the old Jewess who lives upstairs. Even Jutta" (229).

"She thinks of the whelks in Hubert Bazin's kennel, ten thousand of them; how they cling; how they draw themselves up into the spirals of their shells; how, when they're tucked into that grotto, the gulls cannot come in to carry them up into the sky and drop them on the rocks to break them" (446).

"When I lost my sight, Werner, people said I was brave. When my father left, people said I was brave. But it is not bravery; I have no choice. I wake up and live my life. Don't you do the same?" (469).

Love Anthony

Love Anthony by Lisa Genova

So it turns out I LOVE reading Lisa Genova's books. I love the way she writes about neuroscience (our brains are so fascinating!) and I love her characterization. She knows people, she delves into the characters, what they think, how they are motivated, what makes them unique, and she examines the connections people have with one another.

Love Anthony focuses on two women, Beth (whose marriage is hit by a meteor) and Olivia (who has a son with autism). In a nutshell, the book is about learning to love (because, obviously, it is a lesson I need to be learning).

It's a little scary to me sometimes, reading about women who are going through crises, especially when those crises revolve around self-identity, mid-life questionings, and marital problems. According to my research, Genova herself is divorced, which I think affects her perception in some ways. Divorce is just not as big of a deal--not as scary--to her as it is to me. Yet for the most part, I appreciate the reflections the women go through in the story as I think they are thoughts we can all relate to at one time or another:

"Be yourself. But who is she? She's Jimmy's wife, and she's a mother. And if she gets divorced, if she's no longer Mrs. James Ellis, and she's only a mother, then is there less of her? She fears this and feels it already, physically, as if a surgeon has taken a scalpel to her abdomen and removed a whole and necessary part of her. Without Jimmy, she doesn't recognize herself. How can that be? Who has she become?" (65)
"She used to find inspiration in her everyday life here, and she used to write about it. When did she stop writing? When did her life become uninspiring?. . .She can't believe she stuffed so much of herself into a box, banished to the attic for so many years" (71).
"His once beautiful teeth. Her once beautiful skin. His annoying habits. She has them, too. She knows her nagging drives him crazy. This is what happens when people get older, when they're married for fourteen years" (7). . ."She remembers those days early on, when they were dating and first married, when he touched her, even in passing, and she felt it. Really felt it. That magnetic, electric heat of his hand on her. That invisible, magical, chemical connection. Where did that go?" (63)

The marriage counselor's assignment which I found interesting and enjoyed discussing with my husband:

"Here's your homework. I want you each to get out four pieces of paper, one for wanted, one for happy, one for secure, and one for loved, and I want you to write down specific actions and words that you need to see and hear in order to feel each of these things. Come up with as many as you can. Don't hold anything back" (196)

And the best quote of all, the book in a nutshell, a quote I have been pondering and using to examine myself the last few days:

"I was here to teach you about love. Most people love with guarded heart, only if certain things happen or don't happen, only to a point. If the person we love hurts us, betrays us, abandons us, disappoints us, if the person becomes hard to love, we often stop loving. We protect our delicate hearts. We close off, retreat, withhold, disconnect, and withdraw. We might even hate" (302).

What do you think?  Are you inclined to this self-protective version of love?

Pregnancy Center Fundraising Banquet

One of the blessings we've found since moving is the opportunity to get more involved with our local pregnancy center.  Alan has been serving on the board, and then as president of the board, for a few years, and this past year we suggested putting together a fundraising banquet like one we had attended in Missouri.  It's been a couple months since the banquet, and I've had this post sitting in my drafts folder for a while, but I want to post it now so I don't forget about it.

Alan had board meetings twice a month for several months to get ready.  It shouldn't take so much time planning in future years, but everything from getting a facility, finding a speaker, recruiting sponsors, advertising, programs, music, catering, etc. had to be researched and figured out from scratch.  When all was said and done, about $20,000 was raised, and the board deemed it a resounding success.

Alan welcomed the group, introduced the board, presented the vision the board has for the future of the center, and shared a little about his connection to adoption and pregnancy centers.  The speaker for the evening, Norm Palaski with Iowa Right to Life, shared his journey from pro-choice to pro-life.  Then Rita, the executive director of the center, shared her story of being adopted, and explained the many services the center offers women and families.

We had nice piano music playing in the background while we enjoyed a delicious supper of a beef tenderloin with a demiglaze and chicken breast, garlic mashed potatoes, and vegetable medley and our dessert choice of chocolate cake, cheesecake, and red velvet cake.

We had rented all the plates, cups, saucers, etc. and we volunteers cleared all the tables and washed all the dishes to save money.

Wow, that was a big job!  Ha! We hope to not have to do quite all of that in future years, but you have to start somewhere, right?!

Overall, the event was a resounding success.  It got people talking about (and learning about) the pregnancy center, raised money to keep the doors open, and resulted in 15 people filling out volunteer applications.  Alan has been asked to go and speak to a few people in the community (including at a baby shower to raise donations for the center, ha!) which will continue to raise awareness.

We had a great time with friends and feel really blessed to be a part of this community.

For the Love

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker

I'm always left with mixed feelings after I read one of Jen Hatmaker's books. On the one hand, I enjoy her conversational tone, her personality between the lines of the pages makes me want a personal chat with her, and she sometimes says things that resonate with me and/or challenge me. On the other hand, I get bored with her fluffy chatter and start skimming, just wanting to get the book finished, and sometimes I flat out disagree with what she's saying.

In this book, I liked her chapter on being who we are and using the gifts we have. I liked her chapter on marriage, and I really liked her chapter about raising kids 'on Jesus'.

I was almost inspired to start a Supper Club by her chapter of this title (but the thought of the effort just made me too tired in this season), and the subsequent chapter had me vigorously nodding my head at the need for real community and front-porch fellowship. The chapter on Difficult People had me loaning the book to a friend before I had even finished it myself.

Once I got the book back, I appreciated some of the points in her chapter titled "Dear Church":

"The early church involved small, organic communities who gathered around tables, lived simple lives on mission, and loved God and neighbor. That was kind of it. The first believers assembled for renewal and teaching and dinner and togetherness. It was so basic and lovely. Everyone pulled weight, pitched in, pressed into God" (171).

"We don't carelessly place our families under spiritual authority. My checkpoints, in order: 1. humility, 2. transparency, 3. integrity" (172).

My favorite quote of the whole book was the following:

"I pray for your kindness more than your success, because the latter without the former is a tragedy. God measures our entire existence by only two things: how we love Him and how we love people" (71).

Created and Called

Created and Called: A Journey to and Through Nursing by Chelsia Harris

I read this book because we got it for Briana upon her completion of her advanced certified nurse's aide training and I can't resist reading a book! She is thoroughly enjoying it, and I can understand why. The author focuses on how she lives out her faith in Jesus Christ through serving others through nursing. She shares various fields of nursing, different levels of education in nursing, and other practical matters, but the bulk of the book focuses on the character traits needed to be a good nurse: compassion, humility, integrity, organization, patience, perseverance. I can see that it would be a very good book to read for anyone considering the field of nursing and it would also be encouraging for an active nurse.

A few quotes:

"A nurse is a helper, a servant, a leader, an advocate, an educator, a comforter, an encourager, a prayer warrior, and a team player" (15).

"I thought to myself, 'This is someone's daughter. Someone's mother. Someone's sister. Someone's wife. She was created by God in His image'" (35).

"The patients entrusted to our care are in some of the most fragile and vulnerable states that they will ever experience. They allow us intimate views of their hearts if we will simply create a sacred place for them to do so. It is our obligation to provide patients with professional, ethically sound care. It is our honor and privilege, and should be our desire, to regard them as highly valuable and to tenderly and compassionately love them through it all" (39).

Freudian Slip

As Destry was filling something out the other day, he asked me what our school name is.  It's not something we talk about a lot--we were just supposed to choose a name some time ago in order to "qualify" as a homeschool for ordering purposes, so we developed a name and then just carried on with life.

I was busy doing something else, so just threw out "Together to Learn to Love."

Now, if you'll notice on my profile off to the right I describe our name:

Our school 'name' is "Together to Love to Learn" because whatever we do, we are together. The goal is to love together, to learn together, and to love learning together.

It wasn't intended to be "Together to Learn to Love" at all.

But you know what?    Fourteen years into this homeschooling journey, I think maybe we have been together to learn to love.  Really loving people doesn't come to us humans naturally.  We're having to work things out, even on the bad days, the seasons we aren't getting enough sleep, through hormonal changes, and the days we just wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  We are in close proximity to one another and have to learn to love one another and get along even when we don't get breaks from one another.

We're learning to share our hearts and our lives--developing "into-me-see" intimacy.  We're learning how to be tender and kind and sensitive with one another.  We're learning when to be patient and step back, and we're learning when to confront with deep and genuine affection.

This selfish mama is learning it's not about me, my comfort, my pride, my ease, or my preferences.  More and more we're learning it's all about the Greatest Commands.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. . .You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  Matthew 22:37,39

Together to learn to love, indeed.

Dear Adoptive Parents

Dear Adoptive Parents, Things you need to know right now from an adoptee by Madeleine Melcher

This quick book, while not particularly deep or profound, was a breath of fresh air. Too often in the adoption world, everything is negative and I can come away feeling like I've made a huge mistake adopting four of my children--that I've messed them up for life by their very status as adoptees.

This adult adoptee (and adoptive mother), however, shares her story along with encouragement for families formed by adoption. She says the most important voice to listen to is the voice of your child, not the voices of negativity and fear, and that life should not be about adoption. There might be side effects of being adopted, of course, and parents should be watching for struggles, but not all children will suffer from feelings of rejection, abandonment, identity crisis, primal wounds, etc. as a result of being adopted and there is no point in "borrowing trouble" by talking about such things all the time.

This book validated many of my own perspectives so it was nice to read and I'll tuck it away on the shelf in case "the voices" get too loud at some point and I need a perspective adjustment.