The Poisonwood Bible

HUH!

"huh" is the sound of my mind processing, thinking, overwhelmed by the possibilities. I've been running around these last few days asking people to read this book to chat it out with me, and offering to loan my copy if friends would read it, just so I could talk about it with someone. I am simply incapable of clearly articulating the many thoughts it has prompted in my mind.
I read The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver over the Thanksgiving weekend and it's a doozy in more ways than just its 543 pages! As I've been studying worldview with my teens and preparing them to evaluate the worldview of literature's great authors, I'm more inclined to examine the worldview evidenced in The Poisonwood Bible. Who does she say God is? What does she say happens to man after death? And what is our purpose while here on this earth? I don't agree with her worldview, but I did enjoy the depths of this story and the way it challenged me to contrast her worldview against my own.

To borrow from her website, "The Poisonwood Bible is a story told by the wife and four daughters of Nathan Price, a fierce, evangelical Baptist who takes his family and mission to the Belgian Congo in 1959. They carry with them everything they believe they will need from home, but soon find that all of it—from garden seeds to Scripture—is calamitously transformed on African soil. What follows is a suspenseful epic of one family's tragic undoing and remarkable reconstruction over the course of three decades in postcolonial Africa."

As the story unfolds, the reader is confronted with the politics of the Congo as it asserts its independence and the politics of other nations who have an interest in the Congo (or at least its natural resources). I found this aspect of the story fascinating and it makes me want to learn more about this well-researched (she has a two-page bibliography at the end of a fictional novel!) history. The reader also discerns the theme of guilt running through the story--what do we do with our guilt? Some run away from it, some attempt to atone for it, others deny the need for it. Her painting of these scenarios catches the heart and causes introspection.

There are so many themes and morals woven within this story I couldn't begin to express them all. While I read it rather quickly (because I just *had* to see what happened), I still had to pause over some of her pithy little summations:

• Listen. To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story (385).
• Sometimes you just have to save your neck and work out the details later (405).
• We are our injuries as much as we are our successes (496).
• You can't just sashay into the jungle aiming to change it all over to the Christian style, without expecting the jungle to change you right back (515).

I found it interesting that the story, like Mudbound, was advanced through the perspective of multiple characters. While the idea of this seems confusing to me, Kingsolver also pulls it off (so maybe it's not as difficult as I would expect). Her characterization is a joy to experience. Each narrator has her own unique voice and grows in ways consistent with her initial character. I enjoyed the cynical, ironic personality of one sister as much as the innocence of another. My fellow lovers of language will also appreciate the fun the author had with puns and palindromes, and I smiled more than once at one character's malapropisms such as a "tapestry of justice" (rather than a travesty of justice) and "I revert my eyes" (rather than avert) or "I prefer to remain anomalous". These mistakes were all the more humorous as they always seemed to take place when she was trying to show her superiority in some way.

While I'm not a proponent of "America as the big, bad West who lives too richly at the expense of other countries" philosophy, I have to admit to cringing in some embarrassment for my culture while reading this book. Reading books like One Million Arrows, Crazy Love, Radical, Hole in Our Gospel, and the more recent Kisses from Katie has already exacerbated my feelings toward excessively indulgent lifestyles. And I think we truly have no idea how pampered we are in this country even as we have the tendency to compare ourselves to those who have more than we do and think we're not overindulging. Opening our minds and expanding our horizons to learn more about other cultures certainly encourages a sense of contentment and would calm the greed I see in Americans that ruins so many lives and relationships.

When I go with them to the grocery, they are boggled and frightened and secretly scornful, I think. Of course they are. I remember how it was at first: dazzling warehouses buzzing with light, where entire shelves boast nothing but hair spray, tooth-whitening cream, and foot powders. It is as if our (shallow, selfish sister) had been left suddenly in charge of everything.

'What is that, Auntie? And that?" (the child) asks: a pink jar of cream for removing hair, a can of fragrance to spray on the carpet, stacks of lidded containers the same size as the jars we throw away each day.

'They're things a person doesn't really need.'

'But, Auntie, how can there be so many kinds of things a person doesn't really need?'

I can think of no honorable answer. Why must some of us deliberate between brands of toothpaste, while others deliberate between damp dirt and bone dust to quiet the fire of an empty stomach lining? There is nothing about the United States I can really explain to this child of another world (441).

I could (as usual) go on and on about this book, but I'm afraid my review is quite long enough. Now, who would like to read this book and talk about it with me??

Closing Doors

Well, you know what happens when you pray--God answers! My most recent prayer has been asking for clarity regarding whether or not we will stay in this area. I was just tired of the uncertainty. Do I need to start packing, or what? Wouldn't you know it, the Lord closed three doors within a week!

My hubby has no more applications or resumes out locally. They hired a nuclear engineer to fill one of the jobs he applied for, and the last local possibility decided not to fill the position he had interviewed for and instead divided those responsibilities among three other employees.
And now we've sold the farm--just like that. It looks like in another week we will have the money in hand and the new owners are going to let us rent this house as long as we like. The horses and mules are gone, the sheep will hopefully all be sold Monday, and the hogs are off to market. The Lord is just wrapping things up left and right.
I mean, what do you say to that, right? So now I'm praying we'll soon know where! Meanwhile, I think I'll start packing. It's kind of a weird feeling to be in this in-between place.

Have you ever seen that movie, Sliding Doors? It stars Gwyneth Paltrow and shows two parallel/alternate lives based on one decision she made. As I recall, she was headed to work when she realized she had left something at home. The movie continues by alternating between what would have happened had she gone back home to get it and what if she just went on to work. Interestingly, though the journey there was different, the end came out the same both ways.

Corn Row Combos

I got Kiana's new hairstyle done and I think it's adorable. Well, okay, SHE is adorable, but I like this hairstyle too! She's just looking older and older and I'm not sure how I feel about that. . .
I cornrowed two sections into offset piggy tails for the top of her head.
She chose the large heart beads to decorate the ends of her braids and is back to shaking her head to hear them clink against one another.
Then I finished off the back section with some cornrows going straight down off the back of her head. This is the first time I've cornrowed the back of her hair like this and I'm pleasantly surprised at the outcome. It's always surprising to me how long her hair is when straightened out, too.
Here she is modeling the sweet little sweater dress my mom got her for her birthday. She couldn't be one bit cuter! ;)

Sore Toes

Someone has been tap dancing on my bare feet with their steel-toed boots. That someone has been Jan Johnson in her book Invitation to the Jesus Life: Experiments in Christlikeness. Although the Kindle edition is now $8.99, I downloaded the book during a time when it was free, and this is one of those times I was surprised by the gem I received. (Has anyone read any of her other books? I am inclined to check out something else she has written now!)
To get the negatives out of the way, I must admit I didn't agree with everything she said in the beginning of the book, but there was enough good to keep me reading and the rest of the book far outweighed my disappointment in the beginning chapters. Nor do I appreciate it when an author takes "creative license" with the Word of God. At least twice that I can remember, she was a little too liberal with Scripture for this reader as she imagined what people were thinking, saying, or feeling in response to Christ's actions. I don't mind some creative license to help the reader imagine her own response, such as Johnson's description of a boat on a stormy sea as we imagine our fear while the sky might darken and the waves roll, but I thought she overstepped the line in a couple examples.

That said, this book was powerful, and I would really like to read it again with a friend so I could discuss and study (and apply) more of its principles. Johnson breaks her book into a study of Jesus' character traits so we can become more like Him by seeing Who He was and how He lived. I love the way each chapter focuses on a different character trait and ends with many, many additional study questions and suggestions of spiritual disciplines to apply His character traits in our own lives. She broke the book up into four main parts:

1. Jesus as the Relater-style Savior who set the example for us to be attentive listeners, authentic in our relationships, and practice hospitality to all,
2. Jesus as the Lover, who shows compassion, is tough but tender, and cheerfully goes the extra mile,
3. Jesus the Confident, Purposeful Savior who acts with purposeful intentionality, doesn't have the spirit of fear, and is an exceptional teacher, and
4. Jesus the Selfless, Hidden Savior who serves, dies to self, and is slow to speak but when He does speak He speaks the truth in love.
   

One of the primary messages I got from this book was the absolute necessity of dwelling with God by spending time in the Word and in prayer as the source of becoming more like Him. Too often we strive to "be better" out of our own power, and I don't know about you, but that just doesn't work well for me. I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I want to--my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. So I appreciate the message she has woven throughout such as "As we live life in union with God, we become steeped in empathy and genuinely care for other persons" (51). "Embracing this compassion of Jesus can be draining unless we constantly live in the light of God's compassion for us. We can love only because he first loves us" (92).

The more I look over the notes I highlighted, the more I realize how much I truly want to read and study this book again, in spite of all the times she tromped on my toes (indeed, *because* of all those times!). I was surprised at her insight and some of the things she taught me about myself that are not pretty, but I needed to know. For example, I didn't recognize that I sometimes harbor contempt in my heart, but some of her words spotlighted those secret parts.

"Contempt is studied anger. It percolates from the brooding that occurs when doing otherwise normal things such as mowing the lawn or vacuuming. In these moments, the mind drifts to how we've been mistreated. When contempt is a routine thought pattern, it seeps into all of life as chronic grumbling and even bitterness.

Observable contempt shows itself in sarcasm (that word is derived from 'tearing the flesh'), name-calling, and forceful speech that gets louder and more harsh. It leaks into cynicism and rejection of authority.

Contempt in its subtle form shows up in perfectionism, playing the victim, and procrastination" (110).

I want to serve others more like Christ did and set my selfishness aside. I appreciated her most basic points of service.

"The most basic movement of service are to look (to see what's really going on inside people, to investigate their practical needs), to listen (to empty self of brilliant ideas and hear people express their needs), and to love (to sacrifice and offer what others most need). When I feel overwhelmed by a task of service, I remind myself to go back to these basics: look, listen, and love. . .to listen deeply can be a struggle because we have to let go of our agenda and the need to defend ourselves or the desire to persuade people to see things our way" (48).

I was saddened by her insights into our society and inspired by the contrast with the perspective Jesus lived:

"To interact with Jesus was to know you were loved and not used. . .He used things and loved people, while our current society advocates acquiring things but objectifying people as consumers, potential customers (or church members) and 'useful' contacts" (62).

I want to accept this invitation to immerse myself more and more into God Himself and thus learn to exhibit more of Christ's character. I extend this same invitation to you, to reject the worship of a "false trinity" and instead know, worship, and follow the God of the Bible.

"We worship a false trinity: power, possessions, human relationships. We're willing to sacrifice almost anything to get them:

• Power: spending time and money on appearance and clothes as sources of acceptance; spending hours planning what to say to convince a friend, our boss, or the pastor to see things our way.
• Possessions: incurring credit card debt and making up for it with overwork
• Certain human relationships: feeling incapable of saying no to certain people; acting in certain ways around influential people to impress them

The spiritualized wording of worshipping this false trinity is to act in these ways but call it 'trusting God for things.' But our trust is that God will give us what we want! We may excuse ourselves for this because we want only good things: to help my church or serve my family. In reality, we're trusting ourselves: "I am my own shepherd and I hunt down what I need. I create my own green pastures and still waters--even if I have to steal someone else's grass, water, or peace to get them" (187).

A Winning Style

I took the box braids out of Kiana's hair last weekend, but we'll have to revisit this style again in the future. Here is what the style looked like after SEVEN AND ONE-HALF WEEKS!
That's a record in our house. It was adorable and versatile in that the braids could be worn loose, in a ponytail, in piggy tails, or some up in pigtails while the bottom hung loose. I thought the braids actually got even cuter as time went on as her natural curl overwhelmed the braid to the point that the braid curled.

Here is a flashback to the box braids on the day we braided them the end of September. It took about four hours to put the braids in and another four hours to take them out.
After removing the braids, I let her wear her hair loose for a few days, but it took 30-45 minutes each day just to detangle it. Her hair has really grown a lot recently, and is much thicker. I remember bemoaning her "thin" hair a couple years ago, but it is thin no longer--she now has a full head of gorgeous hair.

Now her new hairstyle is in progress. I cornrowed the front section into a side ponytail and fastened the ends with big heart beads (her choice). I'm not sure what I'll do with the back tonight or tomorrow, but I'll try to post pictures early next week.

Night--Horrifying

I have rarely read a book that depresses me, but Night by Elie Wiesel was just one of the most horrifying, depressing, hopeless books I've read. I think it's good for us to read first-hand accounts of the Holocaust because we need to be aware that it really happened and how depraved man can behave, but it sure doesn't make for pleasant reading!
Perhaps my strong reaction just shows the power both of Wiesel's story itself and his accounting of that story. I couldn't help but be horrified (since I have the advantage of history) as the Jews innocently complied with the Nazis as they were led to their slaughter. I shuddered inwardly as the narrator "concurred with Job! I was not denying (God's) existence, but I doubted His absolute justice" (45) or as he angrily railed against God (66) and accused Him (68).I had to set the book aside when Wiesel graphically described babies being thrown into a burning ditch and eloquently expressed its effect on him.

Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed.
Never shall I forget that smoke.
Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.
Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.
Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live.
Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust.
Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself.
Never. (34)

My heart hurt as Wiesel described the brutality and depravity man can resort to. How is it that we turn on one another and adopt the "every man for himself" attitude in times of adversity? I simply can't fathom a child killing his father for a bite of bread (101) or accepting the philosophy espoused by the prisoners:

"Listen to me, kid. Don't forget that you are in a concentration camp. In this place, it is every man for himself, and you cannot think of others. Not even your father. In this place, there is no such thing as father, brother, friend. Each of us lives and dies alone" (110).

So why read such a horrifying book? I think it challenges each of us TODAY to consider how we are living. Are we living every man for himself, not thinking of others? Or are we willing to trust in God and live out Christ's Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-8) regardless of how others treat us? Will we recognize the Christ for who He is (not who we expect or wish Him to be) and trust in Him regardless of our circumstances?

And ultimately, the underlying theme I perceived throughout this book was that of silence. The prisoners were silent as their fellow man was beaten, humiliated, and killed. The world was silent (for a time) as the Nazis employed mass genocide. Still today, people try to silence the story of the atrocities committed, so books like this one are needed and I admire him for speaking out to educate those of us who didn't live through it so perhaps we will be equipped and emboldened to speak out for the cause of others today.

For truly, similar atrocities still occur. Babies are still being burned--they are being ripped from the womb and thrown into the incenerator or the sewer. Children are still being deemed unworthy of love and family and thus institutionalized. Racism and genocide still occur across the globe.

"Who would allow such crimes to be committed? How could the world remain silent?

And then I explain to him how naive we were, that the world did know and remained silent. And that is why I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human being endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere" (118).

So Long Insecurity

I didn't really want to read this book. Some friends wanted to get together and do the study that goes along with the book, however, so I decided to go ahead and read it. Having said that, Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity is actually pretty good for what it is.
The fact is, everyone wants approval and affirmation. I had two phone calls today that drove home that very fact. Some people will go to great extremes to try to gain approval while others go to great extremes to avoid letting others know of their struggles for fear of being considered a "failure". I wonder how much our upbringing affects this struggle with security. Do those who were affirmed by their parents become addicted to a need for approval, or does the fact that they got what they needed in their formative years free them from seeking it throughout their lives? As I'm in the midst of this parenting journey, I really wonder what role I play in mu children's future security. Ultimately, of course, we must simply find our confidence and security in God.

I agreed with several of Beth's points as she defined insecurity. "All it takes to be chronically self-conscious is to be chronically conscious of self. It's acute self-awareness and a preoccupation with self, no matter how it's externalized in life" (22). Several years ago a friend told me that insecurity and shyness are really just manifestations of pride, and that thought has stuck with me and shaped my perception. Beth reiterated this as an underlying source of insecurity since the person who is critical of herself and comparing herself to others, is ultimately just focusing on self which is pride. "Human nature dictates that most often we will be as insecure as we are self-absorbed" (309). Instead, she teaches women to "stop affirming and reaffirming to ourselves how inferior we are. It's extremely unhealthy, and in reality, it's the furthest thing from God's concept of humility" (97).

"We really can regain confidence without stirring up arrogance. Pride lives on the defensive against anyone and anything that tries to subtract from its self-sustained worth. Confidence, on the other hand, is driven by the certainty of God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away" (104).

She also cited instability in the home, significant loss, rejection, dramatic change, personal limitations, personal disposition, and our culture's pressures on women as sources of insecurity. In contrast, she encouraged the reader to be "clothed with strength and dignity" (Proverbs 31:25)

I was surprised at how much she found to say about insecurity. She addressed our perceptions of men and their perceptions of women, based on a survey she conducted. She talked about the effects insecurity has on us, on those around us, and on our testimony. She examined how insecurity affects relationships such as friendship and marriage and how we have the power to choose security. My favorite sections were at the end as she counseled the reader to look beyond ourselves to serving others and to place complete trust in God and thus gain the side effect of more confidence.

"I used to think that the essence of trusting God was trusting that He wouldn't allow my fears to become realities. Without realizing it, I mostly trusted God to do what I told Him. . .(we need to) drop the conditions off of our trust and determine that God will take care of us no matter what" (325). "These days I far less often pray, 'Lord, I trust you to. . .' I simply try to say over and over again, 'Lord, I trust You. Period.'" (328).

When our confidence is in the Lord and we realize that we are made in His image, we are able to grow past the immaturity of self-absorption and insecurity and live our lives in service to God rather than wallowing in ourselves. Overall, I would recommend this book to women who are struggling with the topic.

"The Lord gives his people strength;
the Lord grants his people security."
Psalm 29:11, NET

"He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."
Psalm 112:7-8

"The Lord is your security.
He will keep your foot
from being caught in a trap."
Proverbs 3:26, NLT