Boy Meets Girl

This is becoming something of a habit, but I asked Briana and Destry to write about how they benefited from our  family reading of Joshua Harris's sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  Instead of writing my own review, I decided to post Briana's thoughts.

I love Josh's style in Boy Meets Girl:  Say Hello to Courship because he is not making a list of rules--he is sharing what helped him in his courtship.  He shares principles and practical applications that can be used in all courtships because they are founded in God's word.

Here are some of my favorite points from Boy Meets Girl:

• There are two goals of a courtship:  1) to glorify God and 2) to answer the question "Should I marry this person?"  The first goal seems obvious yet it was a good reminder for me.  The goal of everything in my life needs to be to glorify God.  This reminder helped  me realize that courtship and marriage aren't about me, they are about bringing glory to God.  I like Josh's point with goal number 2 of courtship, because it directs the focus.  Courtship is not just for fun or to make me feel special--courtship is to help a person decide if someone would be a good spouse for them.  Sometimes the answer to this question is no and then a courtship ends and you part ways.  Josh explains that the goal of a courtship is to figure out if someone is right for you in a pure way so that even if the answer is no you can come away with joy instead of sorrow and regret.
• Another point Josh had that I appreciated was that I need to take this seriously.  Finding a spouse has to be done for the right motivation (glorify God) and needs to be done purposefully.  If I am in a courtship someday I want to follow this point and be sober-minded and purposeful because that is a major way to guard my heart and have a meaningful relationship.
• Accountability is a part of courtship that can be a huge blessing.  I cannot rely completely on myself to stick to my convictions in a relationship.  The prayer and counsel of wise, trustworthy people in my life can help me and the young man courting me to make good decisions and glorify God.
• Josh suggests three phases to courtship that were very helpful for me to think about:  1) Friendship.  This is the phase where the boy and girl get to know each other.  I'm glad Josh pointed out this phase because I like to make new friends.  This phase tends to be skipped in relationships, but it is important and can contribute to a beautiful courtship and hopefully marriage.  2)  Fellowship.  Once you get to know the person on the surface level you can begin to discuss deeper topics such as the Bible, your beliefs, dreams, goals, etc.  I like that Josh pointed out that fellowship is not interrogation--these subjects can come up naturally, we don't need to force it.  (I can get a little interrogative, so this is good for me to remember)  3)  Romance.  Romance does play a part in courtship, but you must be careful, make sure you are setting specific boundaries, and protect yourselves and each other.  I'm glad this point is in Josh's book because without it, I would feel guilty over any emotion and I would block attraction out.  It is a delicate balance, but attraction with self-control is a good thing.
• Communication is key.  I'm glad Josh says you don't have to be perfect at communicating (I'm not!), the important thing is to be purposeful, truthful, and humble.  Communication is what makes a courtship such a beautiful relationship--and we cannot be successful without it. 

I realize I've said a lot, but really this is only a preview of all that Josh says in Boy Meets Girl.  Overall, Josh's book helped me understand the purpose and logistics of courtship a lot better and gave me peace by helping me see that if I put God first and strive to glorify Him with my courtship (and all my relationships) He will guide me in His way.