The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates

The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates by Wes  Moore

I don't even know where to begin in expressing my thoughts upon finishing this powerful book.  There's so, so much to talk about.

Two men, raised in similar circumstances--black, in poverty, fatherless, with drugs available in the street.  Yet their circumstances were different.  One boy's father was absent due to death from a freak medical issue, the other was absent due to absolute apathy to his son's existence.  One boy's single mother had a support system in her family, a faith heritage, and an appreciation for education.  The other had an older brother who started dealing drugs before he was 10.

One teenager had a brush with the law, got sent to military school, and gained strong black mentors.  The other teenager spent much of his adolescence incarcerated and fathered four children in a few short years with two different women.

One man is a veteran, a Rhodes scholar, an economist, an author, a husband.  The other man is serving the 10th year of a life sentence.  He is 33 years old.

I loved this book and its honest examination of two men's lives, their choices, and their consequences.  I appreciated that the author didn't excuse or justify "the other Wes's" crime or try to prove his innocence.  It was a case study of two similar yet different lives.

There are many points worth discussing.  As a mother myself, I am struck by the differences between the two mothers.  They had different levels of education, different morals, different support systems, and what might even be described as different levels or types of commitment to their sons.  One seemed to sit hopelessly by, watching the train wreck of her son's life careen out of control, while the other mama persevered and did whatever it took to influence her son's life for the better.  Was it about their relationships with their sons?  One son seemed to care more about his mother being proud of him, even as he fought for his own independence and manhood.  "My desperation for her support was in constant tension with my desperation for independence and freedom.  I projected apathy about her feelings, but I wanted nothing more than to make her proud.  In other words, I was a teenager, deathly fearful of disappointing her but too prideful to act like it mattered" (1277).

I am also struck that the cycle is continuing uninterrupted.  "The other Wes's" mother is now raising three of his children in addition to a niece, a nephew, and her third son.  Her first son died in prison serving a life sentence.  This just hurts my heart.

I found it interesting that the author is a practicing christian while the other Wes had adopted the Muslim faith in prison.  How very true it is that our actions influence this life, but the eternal stakes are even higher.  "(don't) ever forget the high stakes of these stories--and of all of our stories:  that life and death, freedom and bondage, hang in the balance of every action we take" (77)

I thought this book tiptoed around systemic racism, poverty, and privilege.  The way we're shaped, the way we think, our worldview--it matters.  The influences we have in our lives, people stepping up to mentor and disciple those coming along behind us--it matters.  I think it's good for white people to see and vicariously experience this peek into what life was like for these black men.

• "Single-parent households were the norm in his world.  At best, kids would have a setup whereby they would get to see their fathers regularly and even stay with them a lot.  But a family where the father lived with the mother, happily?  This was new to Wes, and he liked it" (520)
• "In 2008, there were 417 homicides in NYC. In 1990, there were 2,605.  Those murders were concentrated in a handful of neighborhoods, and the victims were concentrated in a single demographic:  young black men.  In some neighborhoods, the young men would've been safer living in war zones" (847)
• "Later in life I learned that the way many governors projected the numbers of beds they'd need for prison facilities was by examining the reading scores of third graders" (893).
• Having an advocate on the inside--someone who had gotten to know me and understood my story on a personal level--had obviously helped.  It made me think deeply about the way privilege and preference work in the world, and how many kids who didn't have 'luck' like mine in this instance would find themselves forever outside the ring of power and prestige.  So many opportunities in this country are apportioned in this arbitrary and miserly way, distributed to those who already have the benefit of a privileged legacy"2510).
• "I found myself surrounded by people who kept pushing me to see more than what was directly in front of me, to see the boundless possibilities of the wider world and the unexplored possibilities within myself. People who taught me that no accident of birth--not being black or relatively poor, being from Baltimore or the Bronx or fatherless--would ever define or limit me.  In other words, they helped me to discover what it means to be free.  The chilling truth is that Wes's story could have been mine; the tragedy is that my story could have been his" (2818).
• "But if the situation or the context where you make the decisions don't change, then second chances don't mean too much, huh?" (1058)

If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.
"Wes had spent much of his adolescence incarcerated, and he knew that occasional bids in the pen were part of the game.  But he'd never figured this.  Maybe it was because he'd never thought long term about his life at all.  Early losses condition you to believe that short-term plans are always smarter.  Now Wes's mind wandered to the long term for the first time.  Finally, he could see his future" (2453)

Two of my favorite quotes:

• "Our roots help to determine our routes.  The choices we make about the lives we live determine the kinds of legacies we leave" (2870).
• "The common bond of humanity and decency that we share is stronger than any conflict, any adversity, any challenge.  Fighting for your convictions is important.  But finding peace is paramount.  Knowing when to fight and when to seek peace is wisdom" (2633)

Excellent case study, fascinating to ponder.