School's Out: Reflections

I really have nothing to say, but I just feel like sharing how happy I am to have completed this school year as we anticipate a fun summer.

Insert crazy happy dance, arms in the air, head thrown back in glee, spinning in circles, jumping up and down, and an echoing whooooooooooopppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

It's rather ironic to consider that I would describe this past year as our most difficult year--well, MY most difficult year.  I had the hardest time staying on task, keeping a schedule, being motivated. . .well, simply ENJOYING homeschooling.  At the same time, it was an incredibly productive year for my teens--especially academically, but also in character and life experience.

Destry's violin recital with his teacher, John, accompanying

Next year I hope to reintroduce delight-directed learning, both for myself and for my kiddos.  I recently read that one way to determine subject areas for delight-directed learning is to consider what you are saying to your child when you're annoyed with what they're doing.  "Destry, how long are you going to play that piano/violin today?  You're supposed to be doing your math."  "Briana, it's time to put your quilt/embroidery away and do something else now."  I appreciate that prompt and look forward to seeing how we can better incorporate these skills into our school day next year.

Destry's youth symphony performance

Several years ago, when prompted to name our "school", I named it "Together to Love to Learn."  I felt like there were so many areas represented in that title which captured some of my goals in home education.

Destry and his friend, Jerrit, dissecting a cow eyeball in our study of biology

We are together--and I love that.  I have so little time with my children, only about eighteen years, and I am grateful (most days, ha) for the time homeschooling provides.

Locating the lens of the eyeball

We are together to love each other--and "relationships are what homeschooling is all about."

"Homeschooling is largely heart to heart. The method and even the curriculum do not matter nearly as much as the relationship between child and parent." -Ruth Beechick

Briana dissecting a pig with her friends Adalee and Briana

And one of my biggest goals (after their love and obedience to the Lord) is that my children would love to learn, both now and throughout their lives.  I want them to be lifelong learners, and I'm aware that my attitude will affect their attitude toward learning.

(I love this picture of lil sis peering over Briana's shoulder at the dissected pig!)

So this summer, as I add to their transcripts, write course descriptions, and prepare for next year, I hope to overhaul my perspective and be better prepared to enjoy next year.  Meanwhile, I'm still doing the happy dance.

Tom Sawyer

"You can tell he was a kid once--and he loved it."  

This is what Destry said about Mark Twain as I chuckled aloud one afternoon while reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer for Carrie's May book club selection.

I think Destry perfectly summarized why this story is a classic.  I've read this book several times and each time, I escape through Twain's unmatchable ability to paint the life of a carefree, mischievous boy.  Who else but a young boy would consider himself rich with "an apple, a kite in good repair, a dead rat and string to swing it with, twelve marbles, part of a jews-harp, a piece of blue bottle-glass to look through, a spool cannon, a key that wouldn't unlock anything, a fragment of chalk, a glass stopper of a decanter, a tin soldier, a couple of tadpoles, six firecrackers, a kitten with only one eye, a brass doorknob, a dog collar--but no dog, the handle of a knife, four pieces of orange peel, and a dilapidated old window sash" (14).

Other examples of Twain perfectly capturing the unique energy that is a little boy:

• "Tom was over the fence and gone.  There was a gate, but as a general thing he was too crowded for time to make use of it" (18).

• "The next moment he was 'showing off' with all his might--cuffing boys, pulling hair, making faces--in a word, using every art that seemed likely to fascinate a girl and win her applause" (27).

• "he was the envy of every boy he met because the gap in his upper row of teeth enabled him to expectorate in a new and admirable way" (39).

• "There comes a time in every rightly-constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. . . to buy a new drum, and a sure'nough sword, and a red necktie and a bull pup, and get married" (143).

I couldn't help but laugh as I enjoyed Twain's clever insight into young boys, and my enjoyment of the book had my teens vying for their turn to read the book again.  Even as I read the book from my current perspective as a parent and don't want my boys to experience his same adventures, I have to agree with Aunt Polly that Tom "warn't BAD, so to say--only mischEEvous.  Only just giddy, and harum-scarum, you know.  He warn't any more responsible than a colt.  HE never meant any harm, and he was the best-hearted boy that ever was" (92).

Twain's gift with words made me stop and savor his phrasing more than once.  I think my favorite word picture was this one:

"the old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bill like everything" (174).

Even as Tom Sawyer provides lots of entertainment and laughs, Twain shares some more serious, adult themes within his story.  As I face challenges in raising my children and resisting ornery eyes or smart mouths, I echo Aunt Polly's "I've GOT to do some of my duty by him, or I'll be the ruination of the child" (4).

 I also got a kick out of Mark Twain's less-than-subtle observations on the nature of mankind.

• "He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it--namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.  If he had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is OBLIGED to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do" (15).

• "Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it" (32).

• "This funeral stopped the further growth of one thing--the petition to the governor for Injun Joe's pardon.  The petition had been largely signed; many tearful and eloquent meetings had been held, and a committee of sappy women been appointed to go in deep mourning and wail around the governor, and implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot.  Injun Joe was believed to have killed five citizens of the village, but what of that?  If he had been Satan himself there would have been plenty of weaklings ready to scribble their names to a pardon-petition, and drip a tear on it from their permanently impaired and leaky water-works" (192).

I'm so grateful to the fellow book lover who recommended Tom Sawyer for our May book club selection.  As my Spring calendar collected more and more scribbles and I thought the last day of school would never arrive, I enjoyed a refreshing break in the form of  a good visit with this old friend.

Number Two

She's at it again.  Briana has the top of her second quilt completed.  I like this one even better than the first one she made.  This one is significantly larger and she's planning to cozy up with it on her bed this winter.  I love her color scheme and the pattern.

She has high hopes of finishing it in time to enter it for 4H in the fair the end of July.  Maybe it will make it to the state fair and y'all can come see it along with the Bill Riley talent show, butter cow, and other Iowa State Fair classic attractions.

And have I mentioned that I find it funny that one of the negatives some people fear in homeschooling is children not having opportunities to try different things and being just carbon copies of their parents?  Or that my sewing expertise ends with sewing on buttons?  I just love that she is developing this talent for which I have neither interest nor ability as she is discovering her gifts and dreams.

An Easy Standby

 Sometimes Kiana's hairstyles aren't all that fancy or time-intensive.  Right now Kiana is wearing five little braided ponytails that took less than 30 minutes to fix and decorate.  I just want to share this simple-but-cute style to encourage other mothers, particularly adoptive mothers, from getting overwhelmed or intimidated by hair.

 I divided her hair in half from ear to ear across the top of her scalp.  I then made a big 'V' part in the back half to form three sections.  Using ballies, I made uneven ponytails in these three sections (some high, some low, none centered or attempting to make a straight line--less stress for mama to make it perfect and it's cuter that way anyway) and braided them.  Then I parted the front half diagonally (to prevent stress on that center part which is so popular) and formed two more off-set ponytails and braided.

 This style has been in for one week so far.  I did take the ballies out real quick (although I left the hair braided) this morning and tightened the ponytails by just putting them right back in at the base of the hair as they were getting droopy.  It took just about five minutes and I expect this style to last another 4-5 days.  The new "big and sparkly" beads have been a huge hit with her and I think they are adorable.  It really might be a bad thing for me to live so close to a store that has Black haircare products and ornaments.  A-hem.

I just had to include this picture because I love it--she's such a cutie with that smile!

Godly Young Man

I love watching the Lord provide.  I've been praying for the Lord's help in my relationship with my 14-year-old son.  In many ways, it's easier being the mother of a teen daughter than son because our common interests make it easier to relate to my daughter. We also spend a lot of time working together, and we have read many books together about being a godly young woman. 

I find reading books with my children to be a relationship-building experience as it opens the door to communicate about those difficult-to-broach topics, but I have a hard time finding appropriate books for these discussions with my son.  So I was specifically praying to find a book that I could read and discuss with my son that would promote growth both in our relationship and in his relationship with the Lord.

Shortly after this request, I received a package in the mail.  Crossway books sent me the book Disciplines of a Godly Young Man written by R. Kent Hughes and Carey Hughes for me to review.  I knew immediately I would like it--it was, after all, an answer to prayer.

Now that I've read it through (and have read and discussed the first four chapters so far with my son) I can share specifically what I like about it.

• The format:  The book is written in short chapters which makes it less intimidating to read.  Each chapter addresses a different discipline and is packed full of relevant points and illustrations.
• The tone:  The authors are a father/son duo and this tone works very nicely.  They don't talk down to the reader, nor are they overly buddy-buddy with the reader.  They communicate with both a fatherly tone of spiritual maturity and a more youthful, in-the-trenches commiseration.  They are honest and relevant, both with the content and the tone.
• Scriptural support:  They dissect several Scriptures which make for an interesting and insightful study.  They don't just use a verse here and there to support a point they want to make; rather, they focus on passages of Scripture and pull several points out of the Scripture.  One example is in the discipline of perseverance in which they overview Hebrews 11 and then, from chapter 12 verses 1-2, expound on the themes 1) Strip down, 2) Run, 3) Focus and 4) Consider.
• Needful:  Our young men need books like this.  It is well-rounded in the topics it covers and includes something for everyone.  The authors are not afraid to set the standard high--right up there with God's standard.  Being a godly young man is not something that just happens.  We parents must be intentional in teaching them what godliness is, and this book is a wonderful tool toward that end.  Our young men must also be intentional in striving toward godliness.  This book fills a void in the genre as I have been looking for sometime for a book of this quality.  (I am open to other recommendations if you know of any, by the way.)

My son is diligent in reading the Bible daily, but sometimes it's an intellectual exercise without the application.  Adding a reading of Disciplines of a Godly Young Man will, I hope, encourage him to think more deeply about the Word and to examine himself in light of what God's Word says.  So far he is really getting a lot out of it and we have enjoyed meaningful discussions of the questions at the end of each chapter.

If you have a teen-aged young man in your life, I highly recommend this book.  (There was only one very minor point I disagreed with, namely that of a young man's "work, be it ever so humble, is a divine calling" (114).  I crossed out calling and wrote in commandment as I don't see scriptural support for specific jobs being a "calling", but rather God has commanded man to work from as early as the keeping of the Garden.)  I love the authors' theme:

Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every other way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance.  I Timothy 4:7-9

Tell Me What You Want

What do you want?  What do you really, really want--so badly you would do almost anything to have it?  So badly you think about it all the time?

A precious little baby to love?

Oswald Chambers said

"My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing,

but Himself, my God."

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately.  What do I really want?  Do I want what God gives me, the many blessings He pours out upon me?  Or do I want God, Himself?

A partner to share your life with?

Can I honestly say: 

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation."  Habakkuk 3:17-18).

Financial security?

If God truly has first place in my heart and life, then my desire for Him will be greater than my desire for anything else.  Moreover, I will be satisfied even if He is all I have.

Friends to talk and share with?

Do we experience this same desire for God Himself, not just what He can do for us? 

Do I really want God MORE THAN I WANT. . .

You fill in the blank for yourself.  What do you want?

Made Us Think of You

I received an email from a friend in Missouri today.  Two of their cats have recently had litters of kittens and one of the kittens got lost from its litter and the mother wouldn't take it back, so the other mama "adopted" it.  My friend said it's pretty special to look in the basket and see them, mama nursing kittens who look just like her right alongside a kitten who looks much different.. 

"The children say it is like your family--with children that are different colors."

I loved it!  It was the sweetest email and made me miss these dear friends.  They are the same friends who, as they were expecting another baby (biologically), one of their little ones asked if the new baby would be white or "chocolate like Shonya's baby".  It just seemed perfectly natural to this little guy and he just wondered what his new little brother or sister would look like.

It's such a blessing to have friends and family who are supportive of our family even as it looks a little different than you might expect.  If you are considering adoption, start talking about it now with the people you are closest to so you have a chance to prepare them and you can benefit from their acceptance and support, both through your journey of bringing children home and throughout all your lives.