Disillusionment

I started reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand with my cousin Jenna this month.   I will confess that I'm totally intimidated.  For one thing, my copy has 1,168 (that's one thousand one hundred sixty eight!) pages--each of them covered with fine print.  For another, I'm not sure I'm smart enough to read and actually understand this book.  But I'm all about "learning how much I don't know", so here goes.  It would be going faster were I not reading three other books in addition to this one, but this is who I am so I'm only part way through chapter three and on page 56.

That said, I am fascinated with the book already.  Her writing is simply beautiful.  I can't read the story quickly because I have to savor her talent, her word choices, her descriptiveness.  I had to stop and ponder the following description which the character described as "immense betrayal" and I relate to as "disillusionment."

The great oak tree had stood on a hill over the Hudson for hundreds of years, and he thought it would always stand there.  Its roots clutched the hill like a fist with fingers sunk into the soil, and he thought that if a giant were to seize it by the top, he would not be able to uproot it, but would swing the hill and the whole of the earth with it, like a ball at the end of a string.  He felt safe in the oak tree's presence; it was a thing that nothing could change or threaten; it was his greatest symbol of strength.

One night, lightning struck the oak tree.  Eddie saw it the next morning.  It lay broken in half, and he looked into its trunk as into the mouth of a black tunnel.  The trunk was only an empty shell; its heart had rotted away long ago; there was nothing inside--just a thin gray dust that was being dispersed by the whim of the faintest wind.  The living power had gone, and the shape it left had not been able to stand without it. (5)

 Haven't we all experienced this?  At times we put our faith, our trust, our hope in the wrong thing (or person).  But when it fails (as it inevitably will if it's not the Lord Himself) we feel betrayed or disillusioned.  I am reminded that we can't see as the Lord sees.  Something that may look like a "symbol of strength" might actually have a heart rotted away, completely absent of the Living Power, leaving an empty shell vulnerable to the storms of life.  This reminds me to be thankful for the trials of life which test us, prove us, and ultimately strengthen us as we yield to the Lord's pruning.

Playing Hair Day

I'm thinking Briana is the best big sister ever.

Kiana was playing with her favorite doll (which just so happens to be my Mandy from when I was a little girl) and asked Briana to help her fix her baby's hair with beads.

Briana patiently sectioned the doll's hair, braided it, and let Kiana choose heart beads to put on the ends of the braids.

Kiana thought she was such big stuff loading the beads on the "beader" to help.

It just tickles me that she is so matter-of-fact about this being a style her doll needs to have, just like her.

Notice the band-aid obsession is still alive and well in our family--even for dollies.

But more than that, I am tickled with Briana's sweet, servant heart that gave up doing what she might have liked to do for an hour to serve and play with her little sister.  I treasure these moments they have together as my children are so quickly growing up.

Ready to Move

I hit a garage sale last weekend and picked up some cute decorations for a little bit of nothing.  This first one looks perfect for our family with the cow, sheep, pig, and rooster.  It also has apples and sunflowers in smaller details, so I'm imagining all sorts of fun themes around this picture.

I'm going to need more "stuff" for Marcy to decorate our new house with because it is significantly larger than any house I've ever lived in!

I'm picturing this set of four pictures arranged somehow in the sitting room/library.  (Whatcha think, Marcy?? tee, hee)

Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting ahead of myself here?  I am happy to share that I have thrown away the stacks and stacks of sheets depicting homes for sale by realtor and by owner because we have found a delightful little acreage that we can't wait to move into.

I don't have pictures yet as everything isn't final--the property is in an estate and they will be selling the 80-years-worth of occupancy the first weekend in August.  We hope to be moved in by September 1.  Just know that we are excited for the 4 bedroom (6 BR potential!), large kitchen (with lots of cupboards and countertop), beautiful dining room, gorgeous living room, sitting room/library (oooh, I can't wait!!), etc.  This house has tons of living space which  is perfect for the way our family interacts and also quite well-suited for practicing hospitality.  I'm looking forward to fall get-togethers, especially imagining cookouts on the deck that spans three sides of the house, and Alan can't wait for a "project" to fill the large garage/shed.  I'm trying to decide if I'll still have time for a fall garden, and Alan is sure we can raise chickens to butcher before winter arrives.  We aren't going to worry about any other animals until next spring, but Alan loves his birds strutting around (and eggs and a freezer full of meat!) so chickens may get to move in before we do!

It's going to be so grand to actually unpack all those boxes piled in the basement and not have to make trips down to do a mad search for an item I've decided I need right now.

A Girl of the Limberlost

I had never read Gene Stratton-Porter's book, A Girl of the Limberlost, so I was rather looking forward to the June selection for Carrie's bookclub.  I have mixed feelings about it now that I've finished it.  I'm glad I read it, even though I didn't always enjoy it while reading.

My favorite aspect of A Girl of the Limberlost was the heavy emphasis on nature and self-education, both of which appeal to the homeschool mom in me.  I appreciate the example of a young lady who is determined to learn and sets out to do so without being propelled by any teacher, parent, or artificial motivation.  Even more, I love that her most valuable knowledge--that which provided her with the income to attain her dreams and caught the interest of her "worthy suitor"--was obtained outside of the restrictions of school and classroom learning by pursuing and immersing herself in her interests--self-directed learning at its best.  That simply delighted me and this example alone provides the book's merit.

In our current age when children are shoved through education factory-style (irrespective of unique talents) I enjoyed Elnora's individuality.

What you have to give is taught in no college, and I am not sure but you would spoil yourself if you tried to run your mind through a set groove with hundreds of others.  I never thought I should say such a thing to anyone, but I do say to you, and I honestly believe it; give up the college idea.  Your mind does not need that sort of development. (153)

I can imagine reading this book aloud with my children as part of a unit study on Lepidoptera, looking up pictures of the insects she names, and trying to identify those she describes but doesn't name.  I can imagine this reading inspiring my children to begin their own insect collections complete with pinned specimens and identification tags from perusing field guides.  Reading this book resonated with my reading of Charlotte Mason's philosophies as it emulates a love for nature and nature study--all in a living book!

On the other hand, I had a hard time connecting with the style of writing.  I realize part of that likely stems from the time it was written (early 1900s), but it was also a little. . .flowery and romantic for my taste.  (By romantic I don't necessarily mean romance as in love, although that was present in the end of the book, but rather I mean impractical and "over the top").  I think the style was the main reason it took me several days to get past the first few chapters, but once I got used to the style, I actually finished the book in just a couple days.

I was also conflicted at the mother/daughter relationship and the competing daughter/neighbor relationship.  I'm certainly well aware that mothers aren't perfect, and they are frequently self-centered to the point of hurting their children emotionally.  But just because I'm aware of it, doesn't mean I like it, nor especially to read such foolishness.  With Elnora, I agree tragedies "in quite as tragic a manner, have happened to thousands of other women, and they have gone on with calm faces and found happiness in life by loving others" (107).  I simply don't understand a woman shutting herself off from her child and wallowing in her own unhappiness and grief.  Then as the story turned and the mother's "love" (idolatry!) for her dead husband was killed by the knowledge of his unfaithfulness, she realized "the width of the gulf that separated her from her child" (112) and poured herself into "earning" her daughter's love and trust by cooking tasty morsels, updating her appearance (did that make any sense to anyone?), and learning about moths and butterflies.  Too little too late?  Not for Elnora, for she had "grown bigger on knocks than she would on love" (39).

This leads me to another theme it would be fun to discuss in a book club meeting of this book:  child rearing.  I think it would be quite fun to contrast Elnora's upbringing and her mother's philosophy that it's best for children to face trials alone and develop character through working to overcome those trials with the philosophy held by Wesley and Margaret.  Then we could discuss Philip and Edith and contrast Elnora's character with Edith's:

I cannot understand these people I hear about who live only for their own amusement.  Perhaps it is very great; I'll never have a chance to know.  To me, it seems the only pleasure in this world worth having is the joy we derive from living for those we love, and those we can help" (140).

And we could discuss marriage, its purpose, and the roles played by the man and the woman and compare them with the perceptions held by Philip, Edith and Elnora.

If you could have your choice you wouldn't have a society wife, either.  In your heart you'd like the smaller home of comfort, the furtherance of your ambitions, the palatable meals regularly served, and little children around you" (229).

The more I think about it, the more I enjoyed it and find it worthy of a book club discussion.  Sometimes I felt a little mocking of it for the drama and moralizing, but overall it was well worth reading.  I think my 16-year-old daughter would enjoy it.  Thanks to Stephanie for bringing this title to my attention!

Life at the Bottom

"A classic for our times.  It is as fundamental for understanding the world we live in as the three R's."

 The above endorsement by Thomas Sowell beautifully summarizes Theodore Dalrymple's collection of essays titled Life at the Bottom:  The Worldview that Makes the Underclass. This is one of those books that makes me long for a local friend like one I had in Missouri to spend several hours discussing the points Dalrymple illustrates.  If you like to read, like to think, are aware of worldview problems in our culture or are not aware of those problems, this is a book you need to read.  (Did I cover everyone there?  Because I tried to!)

It's not an easy read--Dalrymple is much, much smarter than I am--but it's not as difficult as it could be.  I found his writing very enjoyable as he chooses just the right words, he draws pictures for the reader instead of just stating a fact, and his delightful wit is sprinkled throughout.  As the back of the book states, "he writes in prose that transcends journalism and achieves the quality of literature."

Dalrymple is a British psychiatrist whose patients live in the slums and a prison in England.  His years of treating and observing the poor of England have opened his eyes to their worldview and thus the source of this socioeconomic group which continues to grow both in his country and mine.  He shares his observations, liberally laced with telling anecdotes, of the results of the ideas of the secular left as they trickle down the socioeconomic ladder.

Free love without responsibility or commitment, refusal to judge anyone's behaviors, the "exchange of liberty for a modest (if illusory) security," the exchange of personal responsibility for a victim mentality, an elevation of self-esteem at the cost of correction in education, the exchange of true value and quality for relativism. . .these are just a few of the principles touted by intellectual elites that Dalrymple attacks with the rotten fruits of the very ideas which bore them.

Savor-worthy soundbites stopped me several times:

So accustomed to the idea that the state would (and should) step in, they felt no personal duty to do something. . .Just as no one is guilty when everyone is, no one is responsible when everyone is (125).

If freedom entails responsibility, many of them want none of it (5).

The sexual revolution has turned the poor from a class into a caste, from which escape is barred so long as that revolution continues (47).

Life is, in effect, a limbo in which they have nothing to hope for and nothing to fear, nothing to gain and nothing to lose.  It is a life emptied of meaning. . .Nothing has the same devastating effect on the human personality as the undiscriminating welfare state. . .(resulting in) loss of dignity, self-centeredness, spiritual and emotional vacuity, the sheer ignorance of how to live. . .poverty of soul (142).

Experience has taught me that it is wrong and cruel to suspend judgment, that nonjudgmentalism is at best indifference to the suffering of others (194).

Never has so much indifference masqueraded as so much compassion; never has there been such willful blindness (245).

I have this book on my list of books to read with my teens in the upcoming school year and I look forward to our discussions as I hope they will resist the dominant culture's worldview and its dismal consequences.

Versatile Box Braids

 Briana and I braided Kiana's hair into box braids early last week.  I hadn't realized how much her hair has grown!  She's loving it in braids as they "make her hair long like Rapunzel's".  It would be healthier for her hair to have not put the beads in the ends, but she wanted beads and the beads keep the braids stretched out to her hair's full length, which she also wanted, so I let her have beads this time.

To complete this style, I part her hair from ear to ear to separate front from back. Then I part her hair from nose to nape of neck (to make four quarters). I do it this way so once her hair is in braids I can style the braids into pigtails, or put one pony in the front section, or pigtails with only the front section and leave the back hanging in braids, or whatever we feel like each day.


 Then I start with one of the back quarters. I start at the bottom of the section--at her neck. Make rows all the way up and section them off with clips--I usually make mine about 3/4 in tall.  The size of your boxes will depend on the thickness of your child's hair and how long you want the style to last (the smaller the boxes/braids, the longer the style will look nice).  Then start with the bottom row and make a box that's roughly square in shape. You don't have to be perfect with it, esp on the bottom rows as they will be covered up by layers of braids.

Please disregard the bow in her hair (Kiana picked it!), but here is how her hair looks with the front half put into one side ponytail.  I think it's really pretty, especially with the beads cascading down the side of her face.  (Her posing here, by the way, makes me chuckle).

 And here she is today with the back braids hanging down long and pretty and the front half pulled up into two quick pigtails.

This is a great summer style that keeps her cool, provides lots of versatility, and will last at least four weeks and possibly even six or seven.

About That Spring Reading Challenge. . .

It's time for my update from the Spring Reading Challenge.  Before I share my list, you might remember my disclaimer:

DISCLAIMER:  I reserve the right to add to and remove books from this list.  This list in no way prohibits my reading of a new book that crosses my path or is recommended by a friend, nor does it bind me to read a book I don't like, don't agree with, or don't have time for. : )

I guess I know myself pretty well because I had 17 books on my original list and completed 11 of them (two are yet in progress) but I got distracted by eight additional books which were not on my list. :)  I have links to reviews I've written.  It would be very difficult for me to pick a favorite book I read this Spring as I read some really great books from several different genres. Thanks to Katrina for this fun opportunity to organize and review my reading!

Books That Weren't On My Original List 

• Little Bee by Chris Cleave--Interesting, well-written, powerful yet disturbing.
• Exposed by Ashley Weiss (review to come someday, maybe. . .)--A novel which follows two women whose lives are affected by the s*x industry, one through her husband's addiction and the other through exploitation.  Written by a woman whose husband has overcome his addiction through the power of the Lord.
• Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler Interesting and thought-provoking by a man who, as the title says, grew up in the Amish communities.
• The Truth About Us by Dalene Flannigan--shrug, free Kindle book
• A Mom Just Like You by Vickie Farris and Jayme Metzga--A real blessing to me this Spring, encouragement from a homeschooling mother
• Disciplines of a Godly Young Man by Hughes and Hughes--A wonderful book my son and I are now reading and discussing together.
• Infinitely More by Alex Krutov--A very poignant account of a young man who grew up in a Russian orphanage and how his experiences led him to help orphans as an adult.
• Children in Church:  Nurturing Hearts of Worship by Curt and Sandra Lovelace--a great book on a much-needed topic

Books I Had Started

• Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyon.--great revisit

• Leadership and Crisis by Bobby Jindal (Governor of Louisiana). I thoroughly enjoyed it

• Life at the Bottom:  The Worldview That Makes the Underclass by Theodore Dalrymple. This is a must read and I hope to get my review up later this week.  Add this collection of essays by a British doctor to your book list now!

Carrie's Book Club

• The April "assignment" is anything by PG Wodehouse. Uncle Dynamite-
• The May assignment is Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. Such a fun re-read
• The June assignment is A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter, which I've never read and know nothing about.  (I'm slowly working on this one still)

Homeschooling (with my big kids or to help me improve our homeschool)

• Setting the Records Straight by Lee Binz   --great motivator, review still to come
• The Deadliest Monster by J.F. Baldwin--I didn't get to this one yet.  The big kids read it and said I have to read it still because it was really good.
• Know Why You Believe by Paul Little I decided not to read this one, Alan read it instead.  I got overwhelmed and he was willing to read it with the big kids.
• Assumptions That Affect Our Lives by Christian Overman  my son says everyone should read this great book

Spiritual Growth

• The Bible--My "180-Day Challenge" turned into a 240-day challenge because I found I was doing my daily reading just to check it off the list (oh, ugly pride!).  I slowed down the reading to actually ponder the verses and it has been a time of great richness.  Now I'm starting back through the New Testament again.
• James--I am studying the book of James using Beth Moore's study guide This was a great study, one of my favorites, and I completed my handwritten copy of the book, although I gave up on memorizing it.
• The Best of A.W. Tozer--Didn't get to this one--yet again!

Miscellaneous

• The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier. Didn't get to this one either
• Monday Morning Faith by Lori Copeland. --I'm about halfway through this one, a light read which so far the best message from it involves taking our Sunday faith into our Monday mornings
• Covenant Child by Terri Blackstock. This was a relatively light read, enjoyable, and it nicely paralleled our own story of rebellious, ungrateful children of God, suspicious of His love and grace.

Guilty Indulgence

• Celebrity in Death by JD Robb. Typical Eve and Roarke, fun escape from reality, returned it to the library in less than 48 hours (do you think they smiled at me?)