Lightbulb Moment

I have slowly been getting the point of the book Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison which I made myself read thinking it was the book Misti recommended to me. I didn't think about the book after finishing it--I was just glad to be done because it wasn't an easy read.

But after writing that last post about our silly mix-up over similar titles, scenes from the book kept replaying in my head and I had a major lightbulb moment about a message in the book.

I am not a label. I can't be pigeon-holed, put neatly in my place, and kept there. I am Shonya. If you try to label me as a homeschooler, you aren't seeing me. If you think of me as a stay at home mom, you are missing the big picture. If you introduce me as an adoptive mother, you are limiting me. If you identify me as a church of Christ person because that's the sign on the building I enter each Lord's Day, you can't think you know all about my relationship with my Lord. If you think you know me because I say I love to read, you might be surprised that I have never finished Gone With the Wind. If you expect me to be just like this other person you know who also has five children, you are going to be disappointed. I am me, with my own unique talents, struggles, strengths and weaknesses.

That's what this book is about. The narrator (who is never named--he's invisible, you see) is trying to find his identity as a black man. Should he be a black man who is submissive on the outside but looking to undermine the enemy, the white man, like his grandfather taught? He doesn't want to identify with the poor, despised black man whose family slept together in their shack to stay warm and ended up impregnating his daughter. Perhaps he can be an intellectual black man who acts inferior to white men on the outside but is secretly pursuing a place of power over the white man. Then there is the black man whose unique knowledge is the root of the successful paint factory owned and run by white men. . .or Ras who loudly stirs up a black revolution on the streets of Harlem. . .or be the token black man and spokesperson for a group who is pursuing its own goals and needs someone to get more black people to jump on the bandwagon.

Which stereotype is he? Because people want to know who you are. Not who you REALLY are--but where they can pigeon hole you, figure out where you belong, and keep you there. Then they know what to expect from you, and think they know you. Then you are invisible--just part of a larger group. You are not your own unique person.

The problem is, he was never able to completely conform to a stereotype. The intellectual black community refused to participate in the 'poor black stereotype' of eating sweet potatoes. But our narrator likes sweet potatoes. The radical revolutionist said not to trust or befriend anyone with white skin. But he knew and liked some white people.

I have adopted children, so I must THINK THIS. I homeschool my children, so I must DO THIS. I like to read so I must have READ THIS. Others might not care so much about Shonya--she is invisible--they just see a homeschooler. . .(or whatever label we might use) and have expectations based on that label.

But the thing is. . .

I like sweet potatoes.