A Mom Just Like You

I started a review of A Mom Just Like You by homeschooling mother of ten, Vicki Farris, yesterday, but got sidetracked as I reflected on why it was such a blessing to me to read it as I was plugging along through the end of our school year in survival mode.  While I don't share her every conviction, Vicki's transparency and wealth of experience gave me the encouragement and focus to finish this school year strong.  Amazon describes the book with

Let's face it...the bulk of home schooling falls on mom's shoulders. Although very rewarding, it is not an easy task.
No one knows this better than home schooling mother of 10, Vickie Farris. Through her warm, practical style, Farris, will fill you with encouragement and practical suggestions for those days when the challenge seems overwhelming. And for those thinking of embarking on the home school adventure, she offers her insights gleaned from years of experience, giving confidence and resolve. After all, she's a mom just like you. Hey Mom...you can do it!

She had me at hello (well, okay, it was a few pages in) with her disclaimer "It's not that I'm all that patient or organized.  It's pretty much just the grace of God that gets me through" (26).  Okay, good, cuz if it requires an incredibly patient or ultra-organized mom, I give up.

I appreciated several messages she wove throughout the book.

1.  Children are a blessing and God uses them to shape us into the image of Christ.

"The reason most people do not want a lot of children is that--let's face it--children are a lot of trouble and a lot of work. . .They require us to grow up and shape up, to deny ourselves and become more like Christ if we are to have any measure of success with them.  And what a genuine blessing that is!  Children force us onto our knees, drive us to the Lord, and sharpen us for even greater service (104).

"With little ones utterly dependent on us, we have a special chance to model God's self-giving love for His children.  Remember that with greater 'freedom' comes greater temptation to live for our own pleasure.  Rather than complaining about your current situation, or envying those who do not have small children, rejoice that your life naturally compels you to the kind of service to which God calls each of us" (207).

 2.  Stop striving to be The Perfect Mom or The Perfect Homeschooling Mom.  Our hope is in God alone and as a friend said to me this weekend "________ isn't what's going to get me into heaven" (you fill in the blank with whatever it is you're trying to kill yourself to do perfectly). 

 "Curriculum and schedules are helpful tools, but they are not "miracle solutions" that will make us perfect teachers and mothers.  Our hope is in God alone" (133).

"We eat simple meals for breakfast and lunch, with most of the kids getting the food themselves.  Yes, this usually means cold cereal instead of eggs and toast, and hot pockets or macaroni and cheese more often than homemade soup and sandwiches, but I know I would go crazy if I tried to be "The Perfect Mom" in everything" (214).   (I signed her up to be my new best friend, right here!!  No condemnation from this mama in the trenches!)

3.  Examine God's purpose for you in your current stage of life and take each opportunity for service to the Lord in prayer before giving an answer.

"I want to encourage you that God gives each of us different seasons of life in which to accomplish different tasks for Him.  When you have young children, God's primary assignment for you is in the home.  When they are grown and gone, He will have other jobs for you to do.  But there are certain things we can and should do to serve others even now.  When approached with a new job or project, do we automatically take it to prayer and determine whether or not it is something God would have us do?  Or do we simply act on the spur of the moment, and under the influence of our current emotions?" (167).

4.  Develop the proper attitude toward times of refreshment as gifts from God

"When you do have a chance for a break, receive it not with a sense of guilt, nor with a sense of entitlement, but with simple gratitude to the God who cares for your every need" (216).

She also shared several encouraging passages from Scripture, stories from her experiences, and practical tips that anyone can apply to enhance their days of parenting and educating.  My favorite one that I immediately applied involved our daily Bible study.  When we lived in Missouri, we had a great daily routine in which everyone met at the table at 7 am to read the Bible with Daddy before he went to work.  Since he now has to be AT work at 7, this wonderful routine has gone to the wayside and we have had a difficult time establishing a consistent method of Bible reading with all five children together.  Vicki's suggestion is perfect for this season of our life:

"Each child has an assigned day for selecting a passage of Scripture and reading it aloud for the rest of us.  I am often blessed to hear the Bible verses that my children choose, and it sets a good tone for the entire school day" (52).

I am so thrilled to have "happened upon" this book on the shelf of my local library while helping my son find books about small-engine repair.  The Lord certainly used it for refreshment for this tired mama.

Tomorrow I plan to share Vicki's four tips for preparing our children for adulthood (since I had to return the book and won't have it as a constant resource on my bookshelf.  This way I can return to it again and again.)