A New Vision

I get such a kick out of myself sometimes and the way I can think I have some great idea, the perfect plan, and then the Lord moves me in a different direction and reminds me that His ways are so much higher than my ways.

There is a crisis pregnancy center (offering alternatives to abortion and parenting support and training) near us which has experienced some financial struggles in the last few years as a major employer (who matched employee charitable gifts!) moved out of the area.  We were blessed to be involved with a very active pregnancy crisis center in Missouri which was led by an inspiring director, and we were eager to get involved here. 

I talked with the director on the phone about various fundraising ideas, public relation-building events, and other needs such as washing donated clothing, cleaning the building on a volunteer basis, and hosting baby showers for mothers who chose to parent their babies.  I took in some baby blankets and other baby items we no longer needed and visited with her again.  We raised pledges and took part in the Walk for Life last Spring.  My husband also went to the facility and visited with the director and was asked if he would be willing to serve on the board, to which he agreed.

She never followed up with any of this.  No follow up call for me to clean or pick up baby clothing, no follow up call for Alan to come to a board meeting, no follow up call to help with fundraising (for which I had some great ideas, of course!).  Frankly, I was a little annoyed.  I had this all figured out, you know--how we could serve and promote life and prevent abortions.  But she wasn't being proactive and putting us to work.

Our first time meeting Easton May 2006

Well, I've been chuckling to myself the last several days about how the Lord works.  Here I was volunteering to wash donated baby clothing and such, but the Lord was planning to use me and the experiences He has provided for us in a different way.

A young woman who was not in a good situation came to the center and discovered she was pregnant.  The director told her about a couple families she knows who are interested in adopting and she picked one she would like to meet.  She would like an open adoption, and the prospective parents are unsure what they think of that idea, so the director gave them my name and number.  She knew the Lord had blessed us with three precious children through open adoption and thought we would be able to answer the prospective parents' questions and give them not only one picture, but three different pictures of what open adoption can look like.

Daddy meets Tyrell and holds him for the first time  July 2010

Well, we had a wonderful phone conversation and then met for supper the next night and I shared what the Lord has done in our adoptions.  I told her about the different ways our children's birthparents have adapted to their decision and the relationships we have developed with them.  I told her about our correspondence through the years and the opportunities we have had to meet with birthparents to build that relationship between parent and child and  provide reassurance that their child is healthy, happy and loved.

I was able to help prepare her for setting the "tone" of the relationship and compiled a list of questions/talking points for when they meet.  I suggested that they write a letter "introducing themselves" that they could give the expecting couple when they met, knowing that it would be a big meeting for them and they would be overwhelmed so having a summary of the prospective family to take home and review would be reassuring.  And of course I sent her home with a few books about open adoption to further prepare them.

I truly believe open adoption is a wonderful option when a woman is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and doesn't feel able to parent her child.  I am grateful that my children have pictures of their birthparents so they can identify physical characteristics they have inherited.  I am grateful we have relationships with their first parents and can share stories about their parents and talents they share.  I am so glad these relationships will one day provide an opportunity for answers to questions my children might have about why their first parents made an adoption plan.  Should my children someday have a health situation for which they need a blood relative, they each have the ability to contact numerous blood relatives.

I understand why it is a scary prospect for these prospective parents, but we have found open adoption to be a rich blessing and it was such an amazing opportunity to answer their questions and share our experiences.  It is natural to be afraid of the unknown, but by sharing our story we were able to ease their fear and educate them so they can also be blessed by open adoption.

Kiana--9 months old

Isn't it funny how I had "my idea" of how I could serve the pregnancy center but God was preparing something completely different?!  I can just see this being a perfect niche the Lord has prepared me for, to mentor families (both adoptive and birth?) as they go through the adoption process. Not what I had in mind at all. . .but truly amazing!