The Three Little P's

Monday, November 03, 2008

No, not the three little pigs. Actually, these aren't so little, they're rather big. Pride, perfectionism, and procrastination. Would you have ever put them together? 'Not I,' said the. . .oh wait, I'm mixing up my little kid stories! But they do go together. Because we are proud and want people to think we have it all together, we pursue perfectionism. And then, when we fear we'll fail at being perfect, we procrastinate at starting something so we'll have the "I just started getting ready for the party the day of the party" excuse to fall back on if everything is not perfect. Hmmm. . .what is this, the 'royal we'?! Replace all above 'wes' with 'Is'. I just have to share some delightful quotes from this book again, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, which I really am going to need my own copy of. . .(disregard previous requests for accountability and enjoy these quotes! ha Better yet, go out and buy your own copy--it's well worth it!) Many times we bring frustration on ourselves in the form of too many projects, plans, and misplaced priorities. . .Go to (your husband) and seek his counsel. . .ask your husband to help you say no to outside activities that would overwhelm you. Perhaps there are times when he even needs to say no for you. pg. 60 We will be holy as God is holy--not because we are so good, but because God is so gracious. Proverbs 24:16 tells us that 'a righteous man may fall seven times, and rise again." The coin here has two sides: first, even the righteous man stumbles and falls; second, by God's grace, he gets up every time. Perfectionism is the false idea that a righteous man never falls--or when he does, he certainly doesn't admit it, lest he discourage everyone who is watching him run!. . .I think as wives and mothers we have a tendency to fall into the trap of perfectionism rather easily. It starts with a very good and noble desire to set a godly example for our families, our fellow Christians, and the lost. But, before we know it, we start comparing ourselves to others and feeling we fall woefully short. pg 70 At its heart, perfectionism is sinful pride. We want others to think well of us, to admire us, and to desire to follow our example. . .At its heart, perfectionism is all about pretense. It is the crazy idea that putting on the right outfit or the fake smile will convince others that we are mature and graceful and have it all together. And it might work, for a while. But who wants to play that game full-time? Frankly, I'd be exhausted. What's more, if we kept up the charade we'd trade some very important things for the sake of our image--things like deep fellowship, godly encouragement, humble rebuke, and tenderhearted forgiveness. pg. 72 You know how we can encourage each other best? It's not by playing the role of Have-It-All-Hannah or Do-It-All-Doris. It's by loving others enough to meet them where they are while being what WE are: fellow sinners in need. We've got to take our eyes off the impossible, ridiculous standards of our materialistic culture with its Me-First emphasis and root ourselves firmly in the Scriptures. We need to remember that only God is perfect, and we are not God (though Satan would like to convince us we are). And, finally, we need to understand that God is sanctifying us over time, even through our sinful mistakes, and He has promised to finish what He has begun in us (Phil. 1:6). God's grace doesn't give us license to sin, but it very definitely frees us from the bondage of perfectionism and its twin sister, pride. pg. 75 Rejecting perfectionism also helps us to extend grace to others, knowing that just as we haven't 'arrived', neither has anyone else. There is no excuse for looking down on others when we know how far we have to go ourselves. Because of his, we can be kind to those with whom we disagree, breaking hard bones with a gentle tongue and long forbearance (Proverbs 25:15). After all, we'd like for others to deal gently with us when they think we don't measure up, either. . .I've learned (often the hard way) that it is far more important to be transparent and teachable than it is to succeed the first time or be the best at everything. When we fail, we simply demonstrate (yet again) that we are not God. We also open ourselves up to help from others. Perfectionism can trap us in a prison of our own making. If we never do anything wrong, then who has the opportunity to bless us? Serving and helping blesses the giver, not just the recipient. pg. 79 It's always a matter of balance, isn't it? On the one hand, we don't want to abuse the gift of grace by not STRIVING toward perfection, not doing our best, or constantly asking for a handout. Yet on the other hand, we don't want to put forth an image that we have it all together and don't need anyone, thus depriving others of the opportunity to reach out with a helping hand. I think this is a hard balance, and in our society, people tend to camp in one of the two extremes: independent or dependent. Where is the godly balance, I wonder?